


Until you love me

by Missparrow101



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forced, Forced Orgasm, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:34:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 55,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29338362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missparrow101/pseuds/Missparrow101
Summary: 'I'm sorry, but who are you and what are you doing in my house' I asked. My voice trembled, what I cursed myself for. The smile on his face grew only bigger, nerving me even more. 'I didn't expected you to be up here so soon. You usually take a little longer, my darling.' (Raoul/OC)
Relationships: Raoul Silva | Tiago Rodriguez/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soo this story will be based on Raoul Silva and my OC. If you are here for James bond, you better leave, because you will not find a lot of him in this story. The story is merely based on Raouls mind, and the OC. I'm writing for pure joy and relief, and to improve my English. So no Sky fall line of story, just my fantasies, ideas. If you are interested in a story about a woman trying to keep herself together and a man who tries to win her over, then this is the story for you. I don't need flames, they will be ignored. I only want to write, and for you to be able to read. I do hope you enjoy my story and reviews would be appreciated greatly.
> 
> Little bit information before I start. Raoul is just like he is in the movies, yet alive. He is a sick man, we all know that. The story plays in England, where Raoul lives his life . You will find out more in the story as we go along.

Unlocking the door of my bookstore, I watched two little children slowly walk by the show case. I could tell they liked all the books and stuffed animals that sat there. I could also see they would never come inside my store, they came from the poor part of London. My heart felt a little heavy, watching this two small humans walk by, their heads down after seeing all the adventures they would never be able to read for themselves. My heart broke.

For me, life had always been just kind enough. I originally was from Holland, but since my uncle and aunt moved to England when I was eight, I now belonged here. My parents had passed away in a car accident when I was six, I never forgot the sound of true despair, when My uncle came for me, and told me what had happened to my parents. My world fell apart.

Grabbing two small books, I quickly walked to the door and stepped outside. The weather was already changing for winter, the cold air hit me with great force.

'Please wait!' I spoke loudly. I saw the two children still instantly, dead in their tracks. Very slowly the biggest one, a boy, turned around and watched me with small eyes.

'Yes miss?' I watched how his little companion turned as well, her dirty blonde hair dancing around her face, due to the wind.

'I have something for the both of you, I'm sure you will like it,' I kept my voice flat, hoping they would not be scared away by a nice gesture.

Hesitantly the boy released the girls hand and he took a step closer towards me.

'I'm sure it's not for us miss, I don't have money to pay for it,' His words hurt my heart a little more, but also urged me to hand him the books.

'They are a gift, from me. I'm sure you and your little friend would like to read,' I watched how his eyes lit up, and his hands carefully took the books, watching my face in disbelief.

'Just promise me you'll take care of the books, and enjoy them.'

The boy watched me for a few more seconds before he swallowed and gave the girl a book as well.

'Thank you miss! Anna, thank her', the boy said, urging his friend to talk to me. I watched the young girl hesitate before she watched from the book towards me, her eyes filled with something I saw so rarely in any child's eyes, well not the ones who came in my store. True happiness, and joy. She hugged the book to her chest and softly mumbled her thanks. I smiled warmly.

'Make sure to visit me sometime, you can tell me about the books,' I said with a wink, before I waved at them and entered the store once more.

The warm feeling of handing books to people who loved them as much as I did, always gave me a special feeling. The feeling of a childhood I had missed. My aunt and uncle took me in, when my parents passed. They fed me and clothed me, but I never received the love they gave their own children. I had always felt second best, a feeling that haunted me until this day.

I had friends, not many, but the few I had meant the world to me. I lived above my little store, alone. Every weekend my two friends, Georgia and Fiona would come over so we could watch the old movies we liked so much. Since Fiona had met her boyfriend she came less regularly, so I and Georgia watched together. I sighed thinking about next Saturday, we had an evening panned with Tom hanks movies, our favourite actor. I could dream away thinking about "you've got mail ', or "sleepless in Seattle".

I filled the empty book racks, until the first customers came in. I sold child's books, but also pure literature. Since my parents deaths I lived my live through books. It was save, and I felt wanted. That had also been the reason I had opened my store, it was the only thing I was passionate about, my escape when needed, another reality.

The day went by quickly. After what seemed only hours the clock stroke six and I closed my store. I cleaned for a little bit, where after I climbed the stairs to my house, ready to make myself something to eat and retire for the evening.

It was then I smelled dinner had already been made. I knew it could only be Georgia or Fiona, for no one else ever came over. I opened the door and was ready to ask what was happening, until I saw a manly figure standing in my kitchen. I realised to late I had let the door slip between my fingers, causing it to close with a loud sound. The man turned quickly, freezing me to my spot.

I was shocked to say the least. The man was tall and well build. Even though I registered that, his face was what stood out to me first. However he seemed some sort of Spanish, his long hair was blonde and bound into a low ponytail behind his head. His face was handsome, dark eyes staring at me. I swallowed when I moved my eyes over his smiling lips, who was he?

'I'm sorry, but who are you and what are you doing in my house?' I asked. My voice trembled, what I cursed myself for. The smile on his face grew only bigger, nerving me even more.

'I didn't expected you to be up here so soon. You usually take a little longer, my darling.' Those words froze me even more. Why was he talking like that, like he knew my ways. I was realising there was something entirely wrong about this and I stepped back, my hand searching for the doorknob.

'I'd rather had you stayed a little longer, until I had the chance to enlighten you about myself. What about a candle light dinner?' His voice was so deep, so rich. It send shivers straight through my spine. I watched how he motioned over towards the food on the table. I nervously licked my lips.

'You broke into my house,' It wasn't a question, I was merely stating what I knew. He laughed and shook his head.

'I used your spare key, my darling, I would not call it breaking, since I neatly entered. Now come, please join me.' I stayed where I was, afraid of this whole new, unexpected situation. What would I do? Was he some sort of killer? A freak or a sociopath?

He walked around the table and pulled a chair out, waiting for me to take it.

'What about I promise I won't touch you tonight, and in return you will sit and listen to what I have to say?' His voice somehow enchanted me, but I was too scared to listen.

"I don't know what you want, but I'll call the police if you don't leave immediately,' I threatened, although my voice shook which made it sound like a question rather than a forcing demand. He smiled again, walking over towards my phone, he placed it on the table.

'Now, please sit down. You will be able to call anyone you want, if you will only hear me out first.'

That line made me feel weary. Why would someone do this for me, without wanting to hurt me for it? It made no sense at all.

I slowly made my way over towards the table, once again noticing how delicious it smelled in here. What had he made?

'Good, good,' he said, shoving my chair, walking around the table to sit himself down before me on the other side of the table.

"Now, darling. Are you hungry?'

I watched him in disbelief, not wanting to eat. I needed him to tell me what this was all about.

I shook my head and tried to look him in his eyes. It was hard for me, trying to keep contact. It was something I lacked the courage for.

'I see, straight to business, hmm?' I noticed how he ended almost every sentence with a smile. Why I wondered.

'I watched how wonderfully thoughtful you were to those children this morning.'

I froze on my seat. Had he been watching me this morning?

'And I couldn't help but wonder, why?' His question was honest, I could read that much in his eyes. I swallowed and thought. Why should I answer him.

'Why do I need to answer you, I don't even know you,' I said, my voice soft. His smile returned.

"And that is the way I like to keep it for a little longer, now answer me please,' His big eyes were hard to ignore, but I did my best. Everything about this man seemed friendly, yet dominating.

'Why can't I do something nice for children?', I asked him back. He laughed once more.

"I was only wondering why you would give away books, when you could also sell them.'

I thought about that, already spilling the words before I overthought them.

'I know what it is to be poor, without any distractions."

He watched me with great interest.

"Perhaps you also know what it is like to have no home, no love,' his words lingered in the air. I grabbed the phone from the table. I needed him to leave. I felt this would work out wrong, I was scared.

'No need to fret darling, I will leave. But please think about my words. Until we meet again.' He stood and bowed before he turned and apparently left through the back door. I had dialed 911 before I knew it, but fell silent when I heard the lady on the other end of the line. What did I have to say? I didn't even knew his name…

What was going on here?


	2. Chapter 2

It was a long, sleepless night. I checked the house for any signs of the man, but found none. Still I was too scared to go to bed. I had hung up on the alarm line. But was still debating to go to the police.

Nervous and scared I sat the entire night on the couch, wondering and worrying.

The next morning came slowly, and tired I made myself take a shower before I fixed myself the best I could. On most days I ran the store by myself, but I had an extra help. Mindy. She loved books as much as I did. I called her just before 7 am, happy to hear she didn't minded taking the store today. It was a relief I had the day off, I would spend it trying to get myself together again.

The first thing I did was calling Georgia and telling her the whole thing.

'Why didn't you call me sooner! Do you want me to come spend the night? I'll pack my things.'

And just like that I felt a little better about the next night. But Georgia would come around five pm, making me spend the day alone. I went out for some coffee and decided I would go to the mall. I worked greatly for emptying my mind. I ate lunch somewhere alone in a small shop. When it became dark I wondered home, walking back through the dark sky.

Completely lost in my own thoughts I didn't notice bumping into someone. It was a man, who started cursing immediately.

'Can't you see where you are going, Geez!' He muttered roughly shoving me aside. I could barely keep my balance until someone caught me and kept me close to their body.

'Now, now, the lady did not see you there. No use to hurt a lady.' I knew it was him, even before I saw him. Why was he following me?

I turned in his grasp, totally forgetting the man who I had bumped into. It was him who caught me. He slowly released me, but kept standing close. His eyes roamed my face, licking his lips as he smiled at me.

'You should be careful, my darling, not everybody is as friendly as you are.' I nodded breathlessly, not sure what it was he wanted from me.

'You were following me?' I asked him. His smiled disappeared, but he still looked friendly enough.

'I don't want anything to happy to you, my dear' he answered. I then noticed the man I had bumped into had walked away and stood alone, in the dark, with the man who had broken into my house the other night. The man who claimed he had been watching me for some time now.

'I- I have to leave now. But thank you for catching me before I hit the ground,' I stammered, my eyes glued to his face, not sure what it was this man wanted from me.

'Of course, of course my darling. Have a wonderful evening with your friend.' I froze at his words. How did he now I was spending the night with Georgia?

He turned to walk away and a part of me wanted to ask him why, but I didn't dared to actually do it. I watched him until he disappeared behind a corner before I went home. I quickly grabbed the phone to call Georgie, afraid he was planning something to hurt her and me.

'Hello?' Georgia sounded like she always did, something that calmed me.

'Georgia, I don't feel so well. I think I'll just go to bed early tonight,' I lied, even though the mysterious stalked I had gave me an ache inside.

'Really? But what about the stalker guy? What about this, I come over and we watch half the movie and then we just go to bed, hmm?' she said. I swallowed. I couldn't; take the risk he would hurt her because of me.

'No, I think I have the flue or something, I am spending the night above the toilet,' I lied again, hoping she would buy it.

'Okay,' I heard her say. I could hear she wasn't buying my lie, but she didn't want to push me either.

'Promise to call me first thing tomorrow then, I could come and make you some soup?' she offered. I smiled a small smile, she was such a sweetheart.

'Thanks Georgia, I will call you. Goodnight.' She greeted me back, before I hang up the phone and looked around the dark room. Maybe I just should keep the lights off. He would think I wasn't home. It sounded like a plan.

I took a long, hot shower and washed my hair. I took my time getting all the tangles from my hair before I turned the shower off and dried myself. I put on some jogging pants and a warm knitted sweater and with a hot cup of tea I placed myself on the couch, watching the TV.

I had to admit I would have felt more safe with someone here. But the guilt I would have when he would harm someone because of me was something I would nog be able to handle.

The shows on TV were getting more boring by the minute, so I shut the device off and headed for bed. It was then I heard my front door open. I froze to the bone. Was he here again?

I didn't dared to go and see for myself, so instead I entered my bathroom and locked the door. He wouldn't go and check every room, would he? I tried to keep my breathing as soft as I could, wishing this was all a dream and that it was someone else in my house. Anyone but him.

'Darling?' I heard his voice ask. He was walking around in my house, searching for me. I shivered from the fear and had to keep myself from crying. Who was he and what did he want with me?

'Darling, I know you are home. Come out so we can talk.' I swallowed and watched around the small room for any kind of weapon, but of course I found none. I then realised my phone was in my bedroom, charging, zo I would not even be able to call for help. Stupid me.

'Darling?' his voice came, this time from the other side of the bathroom door. I backed away, hitting my little cabinet that made a scraping metal sound.

'Open the door, my darling. I know you are in there.' I felt myself grow colder and colder hearing he now knew I was in here.

'God, help me,' I whispered softly, before I saw him fumble with the doorknob.


	3. Chapter 3

How do I ever get out of here? I wondered. I was on the brink of crying, trying to keep myself together for just a little while longer.

What could this man possibly want from me and why? Why was he breaking into my house? Why had he cooked me a meal and why had he followed me today, helping me when I needed help? I just couldn't understand. The only thing I knew was that he was on the other side of the door after he again, broke into my house.

'Darling open the door for me, this is all unnecessary,' I heard him say, the door handle still moving from his attempts to get the door to open.

I felt cold sweat on the back of my neck only thinking about him entering. How would I make him leave?

'I want you to leave me alone. I will call the police If you don't leave this instant.' My voice sounded as terrified as I was.

He chuckled.

'Oh darling. You are always alone. I know you don't mean that. And your phone is right here, on this side of the door.' I swallowed and felt the first tear well up and make its way down my cheek.

'I want you to leave,' I tried again, my voice breaking this time. He didn't chuckle this time. It fell completely silent on the other side of the door. My hopes were getting up. Had he left?

For ten minutes I debated whether I would open the door or not. What if he was just waiting on the other side? A soft noise coming from the door suddenly scared me. He was still there, this time not even asking me to open the door. I saw the screws move before he had removed the lock and to suddenly for me to scream, opened the door.

He still looked the same. His blond hair was in a ponytail, his big eyes completely watching my every move. I quickly took a few passes back, hitting my cabinet again, this time with my elbow. I clutched my arm to my side, keeping my eyes on him.

'Why are you hiding?' he asked me, like it was the weirdest thing I could do. I wish I dared to roll my eyes.

'Go away. Please,' I now begged him. I was crying now and I saw he noticed that too.

'Why isn't your friend here tonight?' he asked me, his tone a little lighter, like he was trying to calm me. I shuddered.

'It's none of your business. Please go.' He took a deep breath before he took a step closer and I moved myself up against the wall. I had no escape. My bathroom was small and the only way out was through the door he was currently blocking.

'I think we should talk. By that I mean I do the talking and you sit down in the kitchen, calmly, and listen to what I have to say. Can you do that without hurting yourself darling?' he asked, still completely calm.

I took a shaky breath and wondered why he was here and why he wanted to talk to me.

I very slowly looked around the room, looking for a way out, even though I knew there was none.

'Come, come darling, you seem tired and I don't want you stressed.' He took a few steps back, waiting for me, watching my every move. I pulled myself from the wall but didn't dared to walk towards him.

He smiled, while waiting calmly for me to come.

'Would it comfort you if you had your phone with you?' he asked me, holding out my phone. My eyes grew wide. He had pulled my phone from his pocket. That meant he had searched for it. Why?

I nodded. He held it a little higher, but I sensed he would only let me have it when I would take it from his hands. No other way. I took a little step towards him, feeling a little more calm when he didn't moved at all. He patiently waited for me to move, to calm down. I wondered why.

'I promise I won't bite,' he said, his tone one of amusement. I watched his face as I quickly snatched my phone from his hands and held it to my chest. He smiled wider, now motioning for me to follow him to the kitchen.

It took all of my strength not to run past him, try to make it for the door. He would be faster anyways. I followed him slowly, feeling uneasy when I saw how tall and broad he was. I would never be able to stop him is he wanted to hurt me.

When we walked into the kitchen he stopped and pulled out a chair for me to take. I slowly sat down, glad he walked around the table and sat down himself, watching me with great interest.

'Why are you here, again?' I asked in a small voice. I wiped my tears away and ignored his staring eyes. He smiled again, a small smile this time.

'Darling, I hadn't thought we would have this conversation this early on, but since you are all alone tonight, and so stressed, we will discuss.' I shivered at his use of words. What was he talking about?

I swallowed hard, watching how he placed his hands before him on the table, his eyes still on me.

'Do you have any idea who I am?' I let his words sink in but shook my head when nothing came up. His smile grew wider.

'My name is Tiago, but I don't like that name. Not anymore. You may call me Raoul.' He scratched his jaw before he continued.

'You are an extreme rarity. So gentle, so good natured. You are everything I can only dream of.' Those words feared me. Was he really just a stalker?

He saw my panic and quickly continued.

'Oh I don't just mean to have you this night and then leave you alone my darling. No, no. I want you for myself, but since you have your little bookstore and I don't just want to take that from you, we will have to discuss.' I felt my mouth open and close when I could not believe what he was saying,

'What?' I asked. His face was serious now.

'We will have to discuss how we will do it. You and me together. I like your little apartment, but of course we will stay at our bigger apartment for most of the time.'

I moved my chair backwards and stood, for the moment not caring he could be some sort of psychopath who could harm me. I ran for the door, my hand just on the nob when I felt arms pulled me back.

'Now, now don't overreact darling.' I felt how strong he was when he pried my hands from the nob and guided me back to the kitchen.

'I said it was discussable, so tell me what you want.' My eyes grew only wider at those words. I watched him walk around the table again.

I didn't even wipe my tears anymore. I wanted him to see I really didn't want anything to do with this.

'I don't know why you are here or why you want me to be with you. I don't know you,' I said, my voice very softly.

He smiled once again.

'Oh but darling, you will get to know me so much better before the week is out.'


	4. Chapter 4

His words froze me to the chair. He was a complete psycho. What was he talking about?

'Don't cry darling. Everything will be alright,' he softly told me. His eyes never left me, they seemed determined, yet shining bright with kindness.

'I really don't know, I don't understand-' I hammered, not sure how to make him understand me. I hadn't asked for any of this and I really didn't need him in my life. I did not even know him. But I had to find a way to tell him this while I would not anger him. I had felt how strong he was and he was a lot bigger than me. He could harm me if he wanted to and that frightened me even more.

'Well that's why we need to discuss, my darling. We have to figure out how we will be together.' I felt my heart skip a beat. He was not just scary, he was psycho.

'Raoul, I don't know you, I have only seen you three times,' I ever so slowly said, watching him nervously. He did not move at all, he kept glancing at me, still looking friendly.

'I know that, of course darling. For me it has been longer, believe me. Now tell me, do you want to spend the night here or go to my apartment perhaps?' he asked. He seemed serious enough, that alone froze me even further to my chair.

'I- No,' I managed to say. I saw a nerve twitch on the side of his mouth.

'You are not feeling well, I understand. Let's get you to bed, shall we?' He said, standing so suddenly, I almost tripped over my chair, following his example. I wanted to reach for my phone but he was faster, putting the device inside his pocket.

'I'll keep it safe for you.'

'Please just leave,' I tried once again. He approached me fast and his hands found my upper arms quick, holding me firmly.

'You won't spend any nights alone anymore darling. I will not ever leave you, now come,' he said, leading me back towards my bedroom. There was no room to fight him, not that I dared to.

He made me sit on the bed, before he kneeled before me.

'You will get in bed and sleep.' His features suddenly seemed very serious, a lot darker than before. I knew just then and there that I had to watch my every move.

I hesitated and watched him, scared to make a move. He then smiled.

'Go on, I will join you soon.' That was not helping… I did as he asked though, afraid he would force me if I didn't. He stood and gave me room to move as I slowly slit myself under the covers, still watching him. He smiled and then slowly left the room. It did not take him long to return with a bag in his hand. He watched me before he closed my bedroom door behind him. For a moment I thought he would go into the bathroom to take a shower or change, but boy was I wrong. He went through his bag and placed some clothes on my desk. He then turned and with his back towards me he removed his shirt, before the rest of his clothing followed. I turned on my side, not wanting to see any of this. I did not wanted to give him the idea I wanted him.

A soft click indicated that he had turned the lights off and when I felt the bed dip I held my breath. He was seriously going to lie with me, in my own bed, inside my own home. This could not be happening.

'Move a little darling,' he softly said. I was lying on the left side of the bed, but instantly scooted over even further towards the edge, as far away from him as I could. I registered his movements and shrieked when I suddenly felt an arm pull me closer. He was really strong and muscled, moving me back to the middle of the bed, right against his chest.

'There, there my darling. Our first night together.' I swallowed and forced myself to keep quiet. Maybe he would not harm me now and I would get the chance to escape him after he would fall asleep. I just had to keep myself calm. No room for panicking.

'Tomorrow It's Saturday and I will help you in your store, then I will take you to our other apartment down town. You'll like it, I know you will.' He murmured, one arm keeping me close, his free hand stroking my side. I shuddered and wondered if he would harm me if I would try to get away.

'Shh shh, now sleep, my darling, dream beautiful dreams.' It were the last words he spoke before he nestled himself even closer towards me, his strong arm keeping me firmly against him. I closed my eyes, even more aware of all the parts of him that were touching me. This was a complete nightmare and I did not understand how I had gotten into this. What had I done wrong?


	5. Chapter 5

It took me awhile to calm down and breath evenly. His arms around me, keeping me so close to his body made me feel scared and afraid. I had noticed the way he kept staring at me, with something close to pure devotion in his eyes. It freaked me out.

I noticed his breathing was even and deep. He was pretending to be asleep, or really was. It did not matter, I was too afraid to try anything. Therefor I laid stiff in his arms, not sleeping at all. I was only doubting and worrying. It was only when he sighed deeply and turned, releasing me in the act, I turned and could lie comfortably.

But that did not mean I could sleep. I kept myself awake, worrying my ass off. What if he woke in the middle of the night and suddenly tried to hurt or kill me? He was insane. His way of talking to me only fed that thought.

When he muttered something under his breath in his sleep I held mine, hoping he would not wake. He luckily for me didn't. Would he seriously stay with me tomorrow? Even while I had work in my store? I was sure I would be as nervous around him tomorrow as I was now. This was bad and wrong on so many levels.

I slowly sat up and watched behind me. He was laying on his back, eyes clothes and his breaths even. Fast asleep. I then slowly got out of bed and stood, walking into the bathroom to relief my bladder in case he was awake and would follow me. After washing my hands I stared at myself in the mirror for a while, not sure if I had the balls to run away.

"But what off my store?" My mind haunted me. I sighed. It was exactly the reason I would not run. I had built my little store myself. My love and life was in those books and shelves. I just could not leave it behind. I needed it like air. I turned and stared at the tiles on the wall for a while. What should I do?

Footsteps and a door opening froze me instantly.

'Darling, are you alright?' his voice asked me, before I saw him enter the bathroom. He was only wearing a black boxer short, leaving almost nothing to my imagination. I shivered. He was well build, had a nice tan and muscles. I was screwed, he could knock me over any second if he wished it so.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself, as to shield him from me. He licked his lips and took a step back, motioning for me to return to the bedroom.

'Come, you need your sleep.' It was the way he spoke that bothered me. It sounded genuine. At least caring enough. I really wondered why.

He saw I was not moving and took another step back himself, giving me more space to pass him. I did, quickly. I walked around the bed and kept my eyes on him the entire time.

'Come, come darling,' he said, when I was not even sitting down on the bed, but standing next to it. He already sat down and slit under the covers. I glanced at the door, not immediately noticing he saw it too.

'There is no use in running, my darling. I will not let you go. Come to bed.' I bit my lip, but did as he told. I had never been brave. I was a chicken, had always been.

'You seem so tense, love. Relax,' he said, once again pulling me close and this time his fingers found my arm and stomach, caressing me. I sighed and felt a shiver run down my spine.

His lips where close to my ear as he whispered, 'Don't fret my darling, I will be good to you. Sleep and rest.' It did nothing for my nerves, but his words prevented me from lingering out of bed that night. I fell in and out of sleep, but instead of it giving me rest, I was worn out when I finally woke and saw light coming through the curtains.

I glanced over towards where Raoul was sleeping beside me. I stepped from the bed and got dressed in the bathroom. I saw it was still very early, but I needed to get away from the bed and away from him. I walked towards the kitchen and made coffee. It gave me some sort of comfort. I stood against the kitchen counter, body tense, eyes closed, slowly sipping from my cup.

'Ah you are very considerate, my darling.' I was sure I would never be able to erase that voice from my memory anymore. I heard how he came closer and poured himself some coffee before he stopped and stood next to me, his body almost touching mine.

'Have you slept well, my love?' he asked me. I shivered and opened my eyes. How I would have loved to ignore him some more. I refused to speak and only nodded before I took another sip from my coffee. If he was not able to see the blue marks under my eyes he was even more crazy then I originally thought.

'Well what time do you usually open your store on Saturday? I thought about closing early today, so we have all the time to get you installed for the night in the down town apartment.' I gave him a look. I never closed early! Never.

'Okay, it was just a thought my darling, we can just stay open until closing time. Don't worry yourself.' He smiled and then walked over towards the kitchen table, sitting down. He kept watching me.

'You are awfully silent darling. What is bothering you so?' he asked me. I took a small sip and thought about his question for a moment. He was not going to admit that he was the problem, so was it any use I did?

'I – I told you yesterday,' I tried, deciding I would not give in that easily. His smile turned into a grin.

'Yes you have, and I answered you. So that is behind us now. What is bothering you right now?' I was stunned. This was a madman.

'Never mind, I'll go open the shop,' I said, putting my cup down and turning to leave. He cleared his throat, gaining my attention.

'Darling, I want to make very clear I am here to stay. I will not leave and you cannot make me. I told you yesterday about spending the day with you in the store and so I will. We will, however, set up some rules.' I turned back and watched him as he stood and mad his way over towards me.

'You will accept me as your partner. No one in the store today will be told otherwise. It is very important that you understand that,' he said, his voice deep. I swallowed but then slowly nodded. I wished I was the type who would tell him no and fight back. I really did. But I couldn't.

'Good then, let's go darling.'


	6. Chapter 6

He followed me close on the stairs. It made me feel even more nervous and sick. We arrived before the locked store door, it was still dark outside. I pulled the keys form my pocket and because of my nerves, I accidently dropped them. Before I could even make a movement to bow and get them from the stones, he was already bowing and gathering my keys in his hand.

'Let me, darling,' he said, stepped aside to try the keys until he found the right one and opened the door. He turned and waited for me to go in first. I avoided his gaze and walked inside, turning the lights on as I went.

I heard him close the door, but payed him no attention as I walked over towards the counter, placing my coat beside it on the chair. I usually started the computer and register and then unpacked some new orders until it was time to open up. My store would never make me a millionaire, but it made me happy and I could live from it. That was enough for me.

I noticed how Raoul was walking and looking around, taking everything in. I walked around too, logged into the pc and walked towards the boxes with orders.

'It is beautiful, my darling. Your store suits you completely.' I stopped and took a moment to look at him. He was letting his fingers room the edges of books, turning to watch me.

I nodded, suddenly nervous and a little uncomfortable.

Raoul had been very close to me this past day and night, but he had not tried anything other than holding me in bed. I was dreading the moment he would try to kiss me, or force me into his bed. He made it pretty clear that was where he was heading.

'Well, it would be a waste if I would not make myself useful. Tell me what to do, darling,' he said. He took a few steps in my direction, noticing how I tensed, but he did not mention it.

'I-I usually unpack the new orders, they are over there. You could- could help me with that,' I hammered. He smiled and came even closer.

'You are so very nervous still, my love,' he said, cornering me into the wall. I closed my eyes and tried to shut him out. But however I could not see him now, I could feel him. His hands gently held me, his thumbs stroking my arms. I just knew his face was close to mine, and before I knew it, I felt his lips against mine. It was swift and very light, but his lips did touch mine.

'Open your eyes,' he said. I took a breath and did. He was so close, his dark eyes right before mine.

He smiled again, bowing in and pecking me again. I was stunned and stood there as frozen. He let his hands roam my body, one finding my breasts through my shirt, the other on my waist. I gasped when he kneaded my breast, giving him the access he wanted, instantly deepening the kiss. While he had me exactly where he wanted me and I had no room to move, he ended the kiss before I could protest.

'Well, that was quite, wonderful,' he said, his eyes still locking me down. I swallowed and lowered my gaze towards his hands, that slowly left my body.

'Let's get to work shall we, tonight we have our, private time.' I ignored those words and I forced myself to work. I tried my hardest to ban him from my mind, and with him in the back of the store, and me in the front, it worked out pretty good.

There had been a few customers before noon, none asking about Raoul. I counted my lucky stars and prayed this was how the entire day would be going.

'Darling, don't you close early on Saturdays?' Raoul suddenly asked me from behind? I was startled and turned. How I wanted to lie and tell him I did not close early on Saturdays. But since the sign was on the door, I had no choice. I nodded once.

'Yes, usually around one,' he nodded too and watched his watch. I knew what he saw, it was already one.

'Let's get to it then,' he said, walking towards the door to turn the sign from open to close. I watched the last customer walk up to my register, a man, two books in his hands.

'Good day sir, these two?' I asked him, trying my best to hide my nerves when Raoul came closer. The man gave me a smile.

'Certainly I did, I just love this bookstore you know,' he said. I scanned his books and smiled back.

'Well, that is very nice to hear. It will be €20,95 please. Are they gifts?' I asked. He grinned.

'If I say so, will you wrap them?' he joked. I understood him instantly. Something I always did when I was younger and very often buying books… lying about them being a gift to get the books home safely and covered.

'I'll get them wrapped,' I said, smiling. The man laughed and then seemed a little nervous.

'Hey, do you have any plans for tonight?' He asked. I froze instantly, almost dropping the book in my hands. A throat being cleared behind me made me extremely nervous.

'I'm sorry my friend, my girl is coming home with me tonight,' Raoul said, his hand suddenly on my shoulder, heavy and in warning. I swallowed and quickly finished wrapping the books so he could take them and leave.

'Sorry dude, meant no offence,' the man said. I handed him his books and earned another smile.

'Thank you for the great service, have a nice weekend!' he said, before he left. Raoul did not move his hand, making me feel afraid.

'You were awfully kind to that man, darling,' he said. It was the first time I could just hear the jealousy in his voice, and I already feared it.

'He is one of my customers, I need to be friendly. I need them to come back,' I answered, taking a step away from him, finally releasing myself from his hand on my shoulder.

'Still I did not like it. Not at all. But it does not matter. You are coming with me now. Come take your coat and lock the door.' He handed me my coat and waited until I walked outside to follow me. With shaking hands I locked the door to my store and climbed the stairs to my house. I was not entirely sure what would be happening now, but I would be allowed to rest for a while, I hoped.

He silently followed me upstairs, making sure to close the door behind us when we were inside.

'Take some things, you will be spending the next nights in our other apartment.' My eyes grew wide, thinking about my store on Monday. Raoul noticed that of course.

'We'll discuss everything, my darling. Do not fret. Now pack your things.' I slowly got to it, after drinking a whole glass of water. I only now remembered I had eaten far to less yesterday and today, feeling my empty stomach rumble.

I took my suitcase and packed enough for a night or two, maybe tree. All the while Raoul stood watch and when I closed the suitcase he instantly came to action, taking it from me and ushering me outside.

'My car is around this corner,' he told me, walking towards a black Volvo. He placed my luggage in the trunk and helped me inside.

'Now, it's not a long drive darling. I will prepare us something to eat when we get there.' He placed some sunglasses on and started the engine. I nervously sat and looked outside. What the heck had I gotten myself into?


	7. Chapter 7

The ride to his house was completely silent. He seemed deeply involved with his own thoughts, as was I. I was feeling weaker and more scared by the second, still fearing he would harm me. Who was this guy and why did he want me so badly? I just could not understand the situation. I hoped his so called 'apartment ' had a few open doors for me to escape from, and that I would find the guts to do so.

'You are awfully silent, darling. Are you feeling well?' he suddenly spoke. I almost yelped from the sudden sound of his voice. I turned my head a little bit into his direction, not quite sure how to answer that.

'I'm fine,' I then responded. He glanced at me every now and then, but remained silent until he parked the car in front of a rather large building. It was the more expensive part of town, I knew that much.

'You remember the rules we discussed this morning?' he asked me gently. I nodded, meeting his eyes for a brief second. He nodded too.

'Good, then you will come with my, upstairs, no running, no talking to people, do you understand that, my love?' I met his eyes again and nodded. He smiled a small smile before he unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped outside of the car. I followed him slowly. He walked towards the back of the car and took my bag, extending his other hand for me to take. Hesitating only a second I slowly took his hand. His grin turned into a smile.

'Your hands are so cold, darling. Let's get you inside.' We crossed the street and entered a big hall. There was even a doorman, opening the doors for us, before we walked right towards an elevator. I hesitated a moment, not liking small spaces, especially elevators. Raoul stopped suddenly.

'What is it love?' he asked me. I swallowed and looked at my feet.

'I- I'm not very fond of- small spaces,' I admitted softly. The last thing I expected were his fingers, lifting my chin so he could see into my eyes.

'Do not fret, my love, I will be with you. Come,' he took my hand again and guided me into the elevator. I nervously stood on my feet, afraid to see his apartment and even more afraid to be fully at his mercy in his house. He could murder me and nobody would know.

He pressed the button for the top floor and watched me, smiling. Why did he always have to smile? When the doors opened again, I was out of the elevator before him. He chuckled, but did not say a word about it. He did not grab my hand, instead he fumbled in his pocket, pulling out a set of keys. We walked to the last door on the hallway, where Raoul stopped and unlocked the door before mentioning to me to walk inside.

With the first step I set inside his apartment all the lights turned on and soft music was heard. I had to blink twice, seeing how light was not only coming from the spots around us, but especially from the enormous big windows. I was drawn to them, amazed by the view. I slowly walked around, dumbfounded he could see all around town from within his apartment.

'Quite unique, am I right?' Raoul asked me, placing my bag on the ground, watching me wonder around. I stopped and turned to look at him.

'Yes, your view is amazing.' He smiled and licked his lips. It made me nervous all over again.

'I will cook us something, do look around your new home, darling.' He turned and left me. I saw him walking into a room that had to be the kitchen. Even though this apartment was very spacious, it did not have many rooms. I wonder through his living area with a small study attached to it, before I found his one and only bedroom, complete with a very large bathroom. My heart stopped for a moment. He would force me to sleep in the same bed again. Maybe he would even force himself upon me. I felt sick just thinking about it.

I had to get away, I had to make him understand he was doing illegal things. He was kidnapping me. I wondered back towards the big windows. I could hear him hum with the music as the smell of food hit my nose. Even though I felt nauseous, it smelled pretty good.

'Darling? Our meal is ready.' I slowly followed his voice, meeting him in the kitchen. I was large, with black kitchen counters and a free standing cooker in the middle of it. It was modern and classy, like the rest of his house.

He had made a salad with some beef and vegetables. He placed to plates down and turned the stove off before pulling some delicious smelling bread from it.

'Sit down, you must be hungry.' He sliced the bread to pieces and placed them between our two plates before he nodded into the direction of the chairs. I was still standing in the doorway, not sure what to do.

'Darling?' he said, a warning in his voice. I shuddered.

'I- I am scared,' I said. I was dumbfounded with myself for blurting that out. His smile faltered for the first time since I met him. He took a few steps in my direction and took my hands in his, bringing them to his lips, to kiss them softly.

'Whatever for, my love? I said I will not hurt you. I meant that,' he said, stroking my hands with his fingers, watching into my eyes.

'You are keeping me here, making me stay,' I softly replied. He released my hands.

'You are safe, cared for and loved. Nothing wrong with that darling, nothing wrong with that.' He took a step back and it was then I noticed he was most normal when I acted like nothing was wrong. He would show compassion whenever I was in distress, but he would not talk about the conditions I was here on. He was truly having a problem with reality, I realized. Not that that realization helped me at all.

'Now come,' he ushered me, walking towards a chair, pulling it out for me so I could sit down. I swallowed and did, afraid his mood swing would turn darker. He joined me and for few minutes we ate in silence. How much I would like to admit it tasted awful, it was good food. After finishing half my plate I cleared my throat.

'You are a good cook,' I complimented him. He looked up, truly surprised by my words. His smile was wide.

'Thank you my love, I hope your hunger is stilled?' he asked me. I nodded and took a sip of water, watching him stand up, clearing the table.

'You have looked around, no?' he asked me. I nodded.

'Good, you may take your time to freshen up, everything in this house is for you to use, except the phone and laptop.' I stood slowly, watching him come closer.

'Do you like the apartment?' he asked me. I quickly nodded. He let his hands slowly slide up and down my arms.

'Good, it will be our home, next to your apartment of course. Do not worry.' I would have loved to say I worried about everything since he had come into my life, but I kept myself from doing so. His face was suddenly close, very close and for a moment I feared he would kiss me. He brought his lips towards my ear and softly whispered.

'Now let's get you comfortable.' He kissed my cheek and jaw, before he captured my lips and kissed me deeply. One of his hands was on the backside of my neck, keeping me close and keeping me from pulling away. I had a flash back to earlier today, were he had kissed me and groped my breast. I balled my fists in order to keep myself from falling apart in his embrace.

'Go and take a hot shower, pull something comfortable on and meet me in the living room,' he said, releasing my lips and watching me intensely. I shook from fear but managed to nod. He nodded too, kissed my forehead and then took a step back.

How would I survive this?


	8. Chapter 8

I made my way over towards the bathroom and closed the door behind me. The bathroom was large, towels and even bathrobes hanging inside. I wondered how I would get through this. I did not want to be here. I needed to be home, above my little bookshop, enjoying my silent, easy life. What was he making me do?

I forced myself to shower and wash my hair. I saw he had placed a pink toothbrush next to a blue one. I realized then how serious he was taking this whole being together thing.

'He's insane,' I mumbled to myself. I brushed my teeth and then spend another ten minutes looking in the mirror. I looked tired, and scared. I took a deep breath and took a bathrobe from the wall, tying it securely around me.

'Lord, help me,' I prayed, afraid to face Raoul again. Would he come and get me if I stayed in here too long? I was not planning to find out. Taking another, really deep breath, I gripped the door handle and left the bathroom. I expected Raoul to be right outside the door, but he wasn't. He sat down before the enormous windows, looking outside, a drink next to him on a side table. He looked up when I emerged in the room and smiled, seeing me.

'Have you enjoyed your shower, darling? Come and sit,' he said, motioning to the chair next to his. I slowly made my way over, keeping a firm grip on my robe, sitting down. I looked outside, not daring to look at him for too long, afraid to trigger him.

'You are very nervous,' he stated. I gave him a quick glance and nodded, looking away immediately. I heard him sigh softly. I was glad he did not move or say anything for a moment. I needed some time to keep myself in check. The view was amazing and I was stunned to see the birds fly by and the city underneath us.

'I'll go and take a shower, do you want something to drink?' he asked me as he stood. I froze when he moved and quickly shook my head.

'This is your home now, you are allowed to move in it and use the things you find. Do make yourself at home, darling,' he said, letting his fingers caress my cheek. He looked at me for a moment, gave me a gentle smile and then walked away, into the bathroom.

I made myself small on the chair and hugged my knees. I felt like crying, but refused it. He already knew he was in charge, he did not need more conformation on that matter. I let my eyes roam the apartment and hated to admit it was nice. I always thought men living alone would have messy houses, this one surely did not. He seemed neat and warm. But he was crazy, crazy enough to kidnap me and force me to live here, with him. How did he expect us to live as a happy couple?

It was too soon I heard the bathroom door open and he came out, wearing a towel around his waist, nothing else on his body. I looked at him and looked away. I hated that I felt attraction when I saw him. He was not ugly, not in the slightest. His body was nicely toned and he was a real, manly man. I swallowed and bit my lip when he walked closer towards me.

'Darling? Are you feeling oke?' he asked me. When he kneeled before me and looked me straight into my eyes, I couldn't help but cry. I felt broken.

'Shh shh. There is no need for you to be afraid and so sad my love, shh.' I felt his hands on my upper arms, gently stroking me. I completely broke down and brought my hands up to hide my face away. He kept doing stroking my arms, whispering some Spanish words I didn't understand until I quit sobbing and wiped my tears away.

'You must be tired darling, come and lie down,' he said, this time gripping my upper arms and forcing me up. However I had no choice with him being this strong, he was surprisingly gentle. He kept a grip on me, walking with me towards the bedroom. I froze seeing the bed, but let him lead me to it. He told me to lie down and released me.

I did as he told me and lied down on the right side of the bed. I lied on my side, making sure I was facing away from him, if he would join me. And of course he did just that. I felt the bed dip and almost immediately felt his body behind mine. He placed an arm around me, and pulled me close. He brought his face close and I felt his mouth kissing me on my head. He rocked us gently, humming until I was relaxing a bit in his arms. It seemed to be his cue to let one hand slip within my robe, caressing my bare stomach. I froze again, trying to move away.

'Shh shh darling, relax,' he shushed me. He opened my robe completely and instantly took advantage of the new exposed skin, letting his fingers trace over it.

'Your sin is so soft, marvelous,' he whispered. He moved a little closer, hovering a bit above me so he could kiss my cheek and see my face.

'Why are you so afraid. You are beautiful and should be loved properly. Not cower away alone for the rest of your evenings, darling,' he told me.

'I don't want this, not like this,' I softly said, feeling fresh tears leek from my eyes. He made me lie on my back, hovering over me completely now.

'You don't want it like what, love? I will always be gentle with you, loving, caring, like you deserve,' he said, bowing down and kissing me on my head. I trembled when he let one hand grip my breast and then bowed down to take my nipple in his mouth. He licked and sucked slowly and gently.

I closed my eyes tightly and wished to be anywhere else I the world, anywhere but here.

'Have you even been properly loved at all, darling?' he asked, bowing to kiss me on my lips.

I didn't answer him, instead I tried to keep myself from panicking. He moved to kiss my jaw when I failed to answer him and kissed his way to my breasts again, but this time I felt his fingers elsewhere. I tried to move away when he let his fingers go between my legs.

'Easy, darling, easy,' he whispered. He stopped moving his hand, but kept it between my legs, like he was allowing me to get used to him, but it would happen tonight.

'Let me give you pleasure, it will only be good, I promise,' he tried to seduce me. I shook my head, keeping my eyes tightly closed. I heard his sigh, and I felt his hand move a little harder between my legs, opening them and gaining access to my womanhood.

'You feel wonderful, my darling.' He probed me gently, sliding back and forth between my folds.

'I will only enter you when I feel your juices, please relax yourself darling,' he said again. He kissed my jaw and kept rubbing me. I did not want it but I was getting aroused by his handling. He found my clit and rubbed it firmer and firmer. I gripped the sheets and sighed when I was getting close to climaxing. He began muttering Spanish words again, his lips against my ear when he drove me over the edge. When I moaned softly, he inserted a finger inside of me and we both knew I was aroused now.

'You are wet, dripping,' he told me, kissing me softly on my lips. I dared to open my eyes a little and look at him. He watched me patiently, his eyes gentle and warm. I was confused to no end.

'Let's get your robe off and out of the way shall we? I am not done loving you just yet.'


	9. Chapter 9

'No,' I softly said, gripping the robe tightly, but it was to no use. His hands gently took mine, and took the material from my fingers. He shove the robe down my body and off my arms.

'Stop resisting the feelings between us,' he whispered into my ear. I only then noticed he had taken his towel away and he was naked above me. I felt his manhood against my leg and I stiffened. I was feeling nauseous just thinking about him raping me.

My mind was working hard to find a way out, a way from underneath this man who was determined to rape me.

'Stop, please stop,' I softly cried, feeling how he moved his single finger even deeper inside of me. I groaned, not liking the feeling at all.

'I wonder…' his finger suddenly stilled. 'My darling, you are untouched,' he said, his voice filled with awe. He pulled his finger from within me and placed himself firmly on top of me, his lips very gently caressing mine, like he was soothing me.

'You are mine now, we will spend the rest of our days together. Tonight our bond shall start to form.' His words scared me, but his actions were even worse. I felt how his finger entered me again, all the while he kept kissing me. I pulled my head away and broke the kiss, hot tears streaming down my face.

'Don't fear me, my love. I am a gentle lover, for you at least,' his words scared me away and his thick member against my thigh made me squirm away, but his hold on my body was fierce.

'Now, you are ready for me to take you.' He pulled his finger from within me and to my disgust brought it to his mouth, licking it. He smiled and then forced a kiss on my lips.

'Stop- stop!' I said, the second word a little louder because I felt him move his hand between us, placing himself against my trembling opening. I was sick to my stomach and hoped that if I had to vomit, it would break his hold on me.

He shushed me and then ever so slowly slid himself inside. I tried to back away and pushed against his chest. But he simply grabbed my hands and kept still. It was the point of no return. If he would proceed I would forever be raped by this monster. My life would always have this dark side, this nightmare side. It would break me, I just knew it.

'Please don't do this to me,' I tried once last time. My voice broke on the end of that line. I was a wreck, completely broken. My words seemed to have an effect on him, he stilled and watched my tear strained face. His eyes seemed to get clearer, softer even. I felt one hand on my cheek, wiping my tears away.

'You deserve to be loved, to be taken care of. There should have been someone in your life to help you in your store, to protect you and keep you safe. Now you have one, you have me, my darling.' It was with those words he simply kissed my forehead, before he pushed himself into me, completely and fiercely.

Hours later I lied against his side in the big bed, tears still making their way down my face. He had raped me. He had told me he was a gentle man, a gentle lover. And that he wanted me, loved me. But he had taken the only thing that was mine to give, with force. It stung badly between my legs but I was too afraid of him to get up and walk towards the bathroom. I remembered his strong body holding me down while he kept pushing and pulling from within me. I was sore and completely broken.

Maybe he would have me again the next day, and maybe even the day after before he decided he had tired of me and he would finally kill me. I was completely sure he had some sort of syndrome, some mental illness, but that didn't help me at all. I was completely at his mercy.

That thought made even more tears fall down my cheeks.

A bright light shining on my face woke me. I was lying in bed, feeling warm but very tired. I needed a few moments to gather my thoughts, before I understood where I was and what had happened to me the night before. Who it was who had kidnapped me, and had – raped me.

A cheerful whistling was heard from another room, giving me the chills. He was still here, he could still harm me if he wished it so. It took all my will power to get up from the bed, quickly taking the bathrobe from the floor and covering myself up. Glancing down I noticed the blood between my legs and on my thighs. Proof of my lost innocence. The feeling of pain when he had entered me last night almost forced me to my knees. The monster had broken me.

The whistling got louder and I knew he would enter this room any second now. I secured the bathrobe tightly and walked backwards until my back hit the wall. I did not have to wait long before the door opened.

'Good morning darling. How have you slept?' he asked me cheerfully, a tray with breakfast in his hands. He raised his eyebrows, seeing me in the far corner of the room.

'Are you well?' he asked me, trying to sense why I was not in bed. He placed the tray on the end of the bed, then turning himself to face me.

'Don't be afraid, my love. Let me take care of you.' I raised my hand to keep him at bay, which he did, if only for a second.

'Don't come any closer, stay there!' I said firmly. I was crying once more, so afraid of what he wanted with me now.

'Darling, darling, are you in pain? Is that why you are crying? Come here and let me take care of it. I can make you feel better. Come,' he said, extending his hand to me. I shook my head. He was a monster. His eyes watched me curiously, not sure if I would comply or run. But he found it interesting to see my struggle and was wondering what I would do.

'Darling, come here.'


	10. Chapter 10

'You have done enough already,' I said, my voice shaking but the message was clear. I saw he took my words in, not sure if he should scold me or have mercy for what he had done to me.

'You are in pain, distressed. Come,' he tried to soothe me, but I saw his eyes were a little less warm then before, like he had to put all his effort in not losing his last nerve. I felt my lip trembling, wishing my hardest to get out of here. To let this all be a bad dream.

'I apologize if I hurt you, my love.' He took a step back, his eyes glimmering, determined to win me over.

'I want to be alone,' I said. He licked his lips as he thought it over. Not sure if he should grand me with it, just jet.

'You get half an hour. Take a bath, relax. Then meet me in the living room. If you are not there I am coming for you.' He watched me right in the eye until I nodded. He then quickly eyed the tray with breakfast, turned and left me, closing the door behind him.

I released a deep sigh I didn't realized I had been holding in the entire time. He had given me some space, for now. I swallowed, looking at the food on the tray. Food was the last thing I wanted. I walked into the bathroom, wasting no time letting the bathtub fill itself.

The water was steaming hot, burning my tears away, but not the hole in my heart and soul. I washed myself thoroughly. I washed and scrubbed until my skin was red, hurting, but feeling clean. I washed my hair, twice, rinsing it when I had applied the second load of shampoo in it.

When I stepped out of the tub I had never felt cleaner, or more sad and broken. I dried my hair the best I could and stared at myself in the mirror for a long time. I almost didn't recognize the woman I saw. All my happiness and fun had melted away. Sorrow was writing all over my face, as was pure fear. I braided my hair and then returned to the bedroom to get dressed. I chose a too large sweater and black jeans. I needed to be as unappealing as I could so he would leave me alone. So he would bore with me and my boringness. Please let him grow bored with me.

I had no clue how much time had gone by, by now, but I decided not to test the waters as I took a deep breath and opened the door of the bedroom. I ever so slowly walked into the hall and into the living room. He was sitting down on the couch, a laptop on his lap, a phone in his hand. He seemed concentrated, busy. I hesitated and wanted to turn around and leave again, but then he looked up and his eyes locked with mine.

'Hello darling.' I gave him a short nod, walking towards the opposite side of the room, sitting down on the single chair, the one that was the most far away from him.

'Have you eaten?' he asked me. I shook my head quickly. He sighed.

'I have to make one more call, then we will eat.' He watched his laptop once more. His tone made it clear that it was not discussion able. He typed some more on his laptop before he dialed a number on the phone. He brought the device to his ear, not once letting his eyes leave the laptop on his lap.

Whoever he was calling didn't even got a greeting from him. He went straight to business.

'Is it done jet?' his deep voice asked. I couldn't help but notice how demanding he sounded. How dominant. What did he do for a living. How could he live in a apartment like this?

'I have made it clear you what would happen if you would not meet the arranged time, yes?' He asked. If his voice would have a color it would be pure and black. I shuddered thinking about it.

'Don't disappoint me, we will meet on Hashima.' He suddenly ended the call, typing some more before he closed the laptop and placed it on the side table with his phone on it.

'Where is Hashima?' I asked before he could speak. He seemed surprised I spoke, and smiled.

'You will find out soon, but breakfast for you first, hmm?' He stood and walked away, in the direction of the kitchen. He didn't once look back, completely sure that I would follow him. Asshole.

I slowly got up, hating him with all I had, but also remembering the tone he used on the phone. He was somebody, somebody that was in charge over other persons, was leading some sort of production. What could it be?

He was already throwing eggs together, when I walked inside and took a seat. I was determined to say as little as I could, without angering him. His whole demeanor scared me, including his tone and physique. Would he ever let me go? What about my store. I had to open it tomorrow, people would miss me if I remained closed on a Monday.

'I need to get back home by tomorrow,' I softly said to his back. I saw him stiffen for a moment, not turning to face me.

'You are home, darling.' I swallowed. Would he get angry if I continued?

'My bookstore..' I started, not sure how to proceed.

'Yes that is something we need to discuss, don't we?' he said, turning with the fried eggs in his hand, placing them on a plate before me. He didn't fill a plate for himself, indicating to me he had already eaten. I still was not feeling hungry at all and shove the plate away, my eyes daring his.

'I need to open my store tomorrow.' His smiled turned into a grin.

'So feisty all of a sudden.' He walked around the table and sat down beside me, shoving the plate back in its original place, right before me.

I wanted to throw more words at him, to show him how determined I was, but I was too scared, to broken to do so. Instead my eyes filled with tears and I looked away. I did hear his sigh next to me.

'We will spend our evenings together throughout the week in your apartment, so you can lead your store and we can be together. But only when you will act like we are, together.' I met his gaze, wondering if he was teasing me, but he seemed serious enough, handing me a fork and motioning for me to eat.

I slowly took it from him, not using it to eat just yet. He raised his eyebrow.

'I have not poisoned it darling. Eat.' I placed the fork down.

'I am not hungry,' I said, only meeting his gaze for a few seconds, too afraid to see his reaction. He didn't even sigh this time. He took the fork, used it to gather some of the eggs and then held it out for me.

'But you will eat some,' he said. His tone was ice cold, threatening. I swallowed and even though I really didn't feel like eating I opened my mouth and let him place the food between my lips.

'Good girl,' he said, taking some more. For a few moments we sat like this. He feeding me, I slowly eating. Before half the plate was empty I turned away. I really wasn't eating any more. He placed the fork down.

'Are you still in pain?' he asked then. His tone lighter all of a sudden. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't want to tell him I was sore whenever I took a step and that the thought of his manhood entering me ever again made me want to jump from this top floor.

'Maybe we should go and see, if you are incapable of speaking,' he said, ice again filling his voice. I stood from the chair.

'I'm fine.' He stood too, cornering me into the kitchen wall.

'Don't make the mistake to think this was only for lust. I want all of you. I demand not only your body but your soul too.' He bowed closer and before I thought about turning my head away he kissed me. His lips were soft against mine, but demanding nonetheless. His kissed me deeply and with passion. We were both breathless by the time he ended it and rested his forehead against mine.

'There is a little black tube of salve in the bathroom, use it between your legs. It relieves the pain,' he kissed me on my forehead and then took my hand walking me back to the living room.

'I have some work to do, feel free to watch tv or read. Tonight we will eat in so we can leave for your apartment right after.' He released my hand and took his place on the couch again, placing his laptop on his lap. Questions about his work were haunting my mind, as his kind advice about the salve.

My mind was spinning, how could this man be such a monster one moment and a thoughtful one the next?


	11. Chapter 11

Since he was sitting close to the TV and was working on something on his laptop, I didn't dare to watch something on the screen. I did however wonder off to his book shelve and spend half an hour just reading the titles and the backsides, trying to find a book that would explain his behavior. I found none, but there were some books that interested me enough to read little bits here and there.

Raoul made a few other phone calls while I sat on the floor, reading. I tried to look like I was not listening to his words, trying to let him see I was not intimidated by him. But It was hard. Like the phone call he made earlier today, he sounded like the figure in charge of something rather large and important. The book I found interesting was titled "Catch me if you can". And no matter how interesting that sounded, the words would just not stick inside my head with Raoul so close by.

Every time I saw him, heard him or just thought about him, I felt him between my legs. He made me feel frightened and angry at the same time. He was so strong and so much bigger then I was. No matter how gentle he tried to handle me, how gentle he touched me. I feared him a lot after last night.

A loud ring from his phone made me shudder and clutch the book in my hands a little tighter. I dared to look over my shoulder as He answered it with a question to the person on the other side of the line.

His eyes seemed colder then I had seen them before. Whenever he looked at me they seemed warm and alive. Right now, his eyes focused on the laptop, they were cold as ice. I was quite sure that I was relieved I wasn't the other person on the line right now. While he spoke I slowly got up from my spot on the floor, already feeling a bit sore. It still felt uncomfortable between my legs, but that was not only physical. I slowly walked towards the chair that was completely on his opposite and near the window. Before I sat down I noticed he was watching me now. And like I had noticed before, his eyes seemed a little warmer.

'I will not ask again, you will have it ready by the end of the week. Or there will be consequences.' His voice sounded cold and low. He ended the call rather abruptly but he didn't look away.

'That's an interesting choice of literature, my love,' he commended on the book in my hands. I swallowed. Not sure if he was done with his cold voice he used on the phone just a few seconds ago. I gripped the book a little tighter and tried to find a position I could sit in, feeling no stings anywhere. He cocked his head to the side. There was something in his eyes that made it hard for me to look away.

'You haven't been in the bathroom yet have you?' he asked me. I swallowed and tried to find a reason why he wanted to know the answer to that question. When I failed to answer he took it for a no and stood, putting his laptop away.

'Come, it will relieve the pain and help you recover faster.' I suddenly understood him. He was talking about me using his salve he mentioned before. I had not forgotten about it, but I had not been thinking on using it either. I didn't like using things he told me to…

'Darling?' there was a warning in his tone and his dominating phone calls made me slowly rise from my spot, wincing in the process.

'I forgot about it, I will go and use it,' I quickly said. He smiled and made his way to the bathroom, even before I could. When he opened the door I stopped in my tracks. It took him about a minute to get the tube and turn around, watching me with those big eyes.

'It's easier if you lie down.' Panic must have been written all over my face for he closed the bathroom door and stroke my cheek with his free hand.

'Don't look so frightened darling. Come, let me help you.' I took a step back, not sure if I could move anymore.

'I don't want you to touch me, not- not there anyways,' I hammered. Closing my eyes when I spoke the last words, afraid he would get angry with me. He removed his fingers from my face so I eventually had to open my eyes.

'You are afraid of the pain. Not me. Come now and let me make it better. It will be quick, painless and better for your body.'

When I still was debating about running in the opposite direction he gently took a hold on my upper arm and guided me to the bed.

'Lie back and lower your jeans,' he ordered. His tone was one without doubt. Not as scary as the tone he used on the phone, but intimidating nonetheless. I did sit down, not liking that he was now towering above me. He sighed and placed the tube on the nightstand, reaching for my button and zipper himself when I didn't.

'I would almost think you'd rather have me undo these for you,' he teased me. My breath hitched.

'I don't.' My words came quick and I did regret them as soon as they left my lips. All he did was grin.

'Yet. Now lie back,' he ordered when he had opened my jeans and shove them of my legs. He pushed me back on the bed and as if I was not exposed enough already he swiftly pulled my panties down and off my legs too, exposing my lower half completely.

My instinct and fear made me close my legs tightly, what made him smile. He grabbed the tube and then watched me, his hands not yet near me.

'Come, open your legs. I will not hurt you. You have my word.'

I took a deep breath and ever so slowly widened my legs, realizing he would force me if I refused, turning my head away and balling my fist in anticipation. I expecting him to take advantage of this too.

He chuckled and I felt his hand on my thigh, giving himself better access to my most private area.

'Even this part of you is completely perfect and so beautiful.' Maybe he said those words to get me to watch him. Maybe not. Either way I did turn my head back and watch him. Why was he saying those things? The moment our eyes connected I felt one finger rubbing on my outer folds. He was being gentle and went slow.

'I'll just spread it a little inside. It won't hurt at all,' he said before I felt him pushing his finger inside of me with some of the cold salve on his finger. I shivered from the cold and nerves as he moved his finger very slowly, as if he was really trying to not hurt me at all. I closed my eyes as he removed his finger from within me, only to re insert it with some more salve, going deeper. I bit my lip and was wondering if he was just doing this for his own pleasure when he removed his finger from within me and caressed my legs, closing them with his hands.

'Now get dressed and sit down for an hour or so. It'll loosen your muscles and take away the sting.' He gave me a smile before placing my panties and jeans on the bed next to me, before he stood and left me alone. I was stunned.

I quickly placed my clothes back on and watched where he'd gone to, before I went back into the living room, taking my seat by the window. He had already sat down, his laptop on his lap again. He was typing away, fast, like he was working on some code or something. I remained silent and opened the book, willing my brain to absorb the words.

There were no more calls, just the sound of his ticking and my turning of pages every once in a while. The book was good, interesting and pulling me in. I almost jumped when his pet name for me came a little louder than necessary.

'Darling.' I looked up. He grinned.

'Good book isn't it?' you can continue later, we'll make dinner now. Come.' He didn't even waited for my reply. He just assumed I would do as I was told. I sighed, closed the book and stood, following him. He placed some carrots, fish from the freezer and potatoes on the counter.

'I like to cook and I like it even better with company. Fish or vegetables?' he asked me. I chose the easy option.

'Vegetables.' He nodded and placed a pan and some tools before me. He turned the radio on and hummed along while he cleaned the fish and I the carrots. An outsider looking in would have thought we were a happy couple, just cooking together. How wrong they'd be…

I had never seen such a big, broad men prepare dinner with such finesse. He was patient and knew what he was doing. When I had the vegetables cooking and stood there watching him, he suddenly met my gaze.

'How's the salve working?' he asked. I licked my lips.

'Good, I – I think,' I hammered. What about him made me so scared and … shy?

He smiled.

'You'll take a hot bath later and then a little more salve. The pain will be dull tomorrow.' I was flabbergasted that he paid so much mind to me and my womanly pains. But he seemed truly concerned.

'I'll be oke,' I softly said, checking my carrots. He went to set the table and then returned, placing the fish on the two plates.

'My intention is to take care of you, not hurt you. I don't enjoy you enduring pain, like you seem to think,' he suddenly continued when he said down, facing each other. I had reached for my fork, but now my hand stilled in midair. I didn't know what to answer to that. He had forced himself upon me, raped me and then made me stay here. What could I say?

'Eat darling, before it gets cold.'

We finished the meal in silence, only the radio as a background sound. He seemed as preoccupied with his thoughts as I was, startling me when he suddenly started cleaning the table. I stood to help him but he took my plate from my hands.

'Go take a nice warm bath. Then we'll leave for your apartment, I'll clean up.' I nodded, glad to get to hide in the bathroom. I made my way over towards the bathroom, filling the tub with steaming water and removing my clothes. Maybe if I rubbed hard enough I could remove the feeling of his fingers on me… I had let my hair down and stepped inside the tub. I hissed feeling how warm the water really was.

I closed my eyes and tried to empty my mind. I was strong enough to get out of this. I would survive and escape. It would all be okay in the end. For a few minutes it was almost relaxing for me. Well it was until I heard movements beside me and I saw him sitting down on the closed toilet seat, the book I had been reading earlier in his hands. I quickly used my hands to shield my breasts from his view, but he was not looking at my body. He sought out my eyes.

'You can keep your eyes closed if you'd like darling. I'll read you some, just relax.' He opened the book where I had stopped reading before, reading it out loud to me.

I knew I hated this man more than anyone else in my life, but I had to admit his voice was pleasant to listen too. It was masculine, deep and exciting hearing him say the lines the characters had. He read at a steady pace, taking his time, being really patient.

However I was nerves with him so close by and me being naked in the tub, I found myself closing my eyes and relaxing a bit. I don't know for how long we sat I the bathroom before he closed the book and gently placed a curl behind my ear.

'Finish your bath and get dressed, then we'll leave.' He smiled and stood, taking the book with him. He stopped in the doorway.

'Darling, would you like to take this book with you?' he asked me. I swallowed, moving a little in the tub so the water moved too. I than nodded. His smile got even broader.

'Meet me in the kitchen when you are ready and clothed, my love.' With those words he left me alone. I was dumbfounded. What had just happened?


	12. Chapter 12

I emptied the tub and dried myself. I was a little confused with his behavior. He actually sat down next to me while I took a bath, reading me a book. In what parallel universe had I gotten myself into?

While drying my hair and getting dressed I could not help but feel a little bit better thinking about sleeping in my own bed tonight. I would be able to work in my store tomorrow. Raoul had not mentioned himself being there too, so I still had some hope left he had his own business to attend to.

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror for a few minutes, not sure what to think. I looked like I always did, maybe a little more tired. But my curls where still there and I knew the glimmer in my eyes was still there, even while being afraid. I had to be strong. I would find a way out. Maybe if he really would let me alone in the store during the day I could inform the police or at least my friends… My chest hurt thinking about being free from this psycho man. Would I really get that chance?

'Darling, are you almost ready?' I heard his voice ask from the bedroom. I quickly bound my hair into a bun and opened the bathroom door, seeing Raoul sitting on the bed, my bag next to him.

'I have your things already, my love.' I swallowed and nodded. However I like him more being gentle to me then angered, I hated the little pet names he would give me.

'Well lie down, after I bring the salve on we are ready to go,' he said, standing to walk past me into the bathroom probably getting the salve. I bit my lip. Not again.

'I- I can do it myself. Please,' I said, meeting his eyes when he re-emerged from the bathroom. He shook his head.

'You are mine to take care of. Lie down now.' I stood frozen, really not liking where this was going once again. I was captured between not wanting to anger him, but also not wanting him to touch me.

He walked over towards me and cocked his head to the side.

'Darling?' he asked me. I took a shaky breath. Would he freak out if I gave him a piece of my mind? Not that I dared.

'I'm feeling better already. I don't think I need the salve anymore.' My words were soft and not very convincing. He licked his lips and gave me the smallest smile.

'I am not asking again. Lie down.' This time his words were almost as dominant as the tone he used while speaking on the phone. So I trembled, but complied. I pulled my jeans down and my panties right after before I lied down on the bed. I closed my eyes stiffly, trying to block him out.

Not seeing made everything sound clearer instantly. I heard him sigh before he sat down and used his warm, big hands to open my legs. He must have felt my shivers, I did too.

'It's alright love, no need to be scared,' he hushed me while I felt one of his fingers going inside of me. He was gentle, once again, and went slow. His touch was no longer painful, but it was uncomfortable. I hoped he was done after he removed his finger, but he inserted it a second time, probing me even deeper. I hissed from shock and uncomfortableness, opening my eyes instantly. His eyes met mine, question written in his eyes.

'Not really better yet, hmm?' he said. I looked away. This was to weird.

'You are really tight, my darling. It's because of that I hurt you right here last night,' he said while entering me once more before he pulled his finger from within me.

I rolled my eyes. Maybe he was too dam big… He stood from the bed, so I quickly got up and dressed, not needing him to see me naked a minute longer.

'Well then, let's go. Come darling.'

The drive was silent, due to me being tired and falling in and out of sleep on the way to my apartment. If kind of freaked me out he knew the exact way to my apartment, parking close by. At that moment I was really, really tired from everything that had happened to me in the past few days. I needed sleep, but was too afraid to be unconscious in this man's presence.

I didn't even notice him walking around the car and opening my door. I only did when I felt his hands under my knees. He gently pulled me from my seat and into his arms, carrying me.

'I'm sorry,' I yawned. He kissed my forehead before closing the door of the car with his foot.

'Don't be my darling. You are tired. I understand. Let's get you to bed.' With those words he walked up the stairs to my front door and the only thing I remember after that is being placed in my own bed, between my own sheets, where I could finally sleep.

The smell of fresh coffee and bacon woke me up. I slowly stretched my arms before I opened my eyes, hoping this was a dream and I was alone in my house. No strange man in my house, who made me breakfast and raped me. Please. Please. Please.

'It's time to wake up darling, good morning.' I started to get used to his Spanish accent, but I hated the man who said the words. He seemed as cheerful as ever. What a surprise.

'Morning,' I softly answered from my place between the sheets. He was already dressed, this time in a suit, looking like some rich man, ready to yell at his employees who were beneath him. I found him even more scarier than the day before.

'Have you slept well my love. You were so tired last night.' He bowed down to kiss me, what surprised me enough to freeze me to my spot, not kissing him back, but not leaning away either. When He pulled back from the kiss I quickly nodded, afraid to pull him from his apparent good mood.

'What time is it?' I then asked, suddenly reminding that is was Monday and I needed to get to my store on time. He smiled.

'Half past 8, so time enough to share breakfast, hmm?' he said, kissing me on my lips once more before he stood.

'Come, get dressed we need to discuss some things before I leave.' Those words made me feel a little – better. He was leaving? I kept myself from smiling and just answered with a soft yes. He left the bedroom, and as quickly as I could I got dressed. Some black jeans and a red blouse would have to do. It was one of the usual outfits I wore to my store. I knew I had time enough to get to my shop, I usually opened around 11 on Mondays. But I could not wait for him to leave me alone. I could not wait for those big eyes to stop following me everywhere. It was almost too good to be true.

When I made my way into the kitchen the smell of coffee got stronger and the bacon and eggs made my mouth water. He already sat down at the table, sipping his coffee. He looked up and smiled when I joined him. He placed his coffee on the table, pouring me some.

'You look beautiful this morning my love. Red suits you.'

'Thank you,' I answered. I reminded myself I had to play along a little while longer. He would leave me. He would leave me. He handed me my coffee and then focused himself on me. Completely. The way his eyes bore into mine made me feel sick.

'Today I have to go to my work. As you need to be in your store,' he started. I swallowed and sipped my coffee.

'That means I will not see you during the day, but I will come home this evening. Like couples do,' he added. I took a bite from the eggs, slowly and with a lot of effort, feeling nauseous.

'I remember the last time we were together in your store. With the last customer,' he continued. I sharply looked up.

'I don't want anything like that to happen again, do you understand me?' he asked. I only nodded, reminding myself I could flee today when he was gone. This would be the last time he had touched me, hurt me and humiliated me. I would be free. Everything would be alright.

He nodded too.

'I don't know how long I will be away. I need to – arrange some things around town today.' The way he spoke made me nervous. He seemed even more calculated then before, like he was planning something big. I didn't dared to ask. I needed to keep him thinking I was trying to accept him. That everything was alright. I remembered that he was more pleasant thinking he could control the things I did and that he could care for me.

'Shall I then – shall I make us dinner. Something that can be warmed in case you'll be late?' I asked. It was not only trying to please him. I needed to know how far around town he would go. And how long I had to flee.

He smiled.

'That sounds lovely. You are so thoughtful my darling.' I finished my coffee and forced myself to eat some more. I would need it.


	13. Chapter 13

The minute he walked out the door, I could finally take a deep breath. I still felt his lips against mine as he had kissed me right before leaving, but somehow I could calm myself now he was gone. I got warm and cold thinking about my chance to run now. Would he find me if I did? I had a feeling he would get angry if I ran and he came after me. I knew there was something wrong with him.

I sat myself down on the kitchen chair and cried. How would I run if I had my store downstairs to run all day? Running would mean I had to leave my store. I gave myself fifteen minutes to cry it out before I stood up, dried my tears and left for my store. Maybe time between my books would do me good. It was cold outside and I shivered walking down the stairs and fumbling with the keys. When I was inside I had to wipe my tears away, realization hitting me hard now I saw my most precious property, my store. It was the thing I had created myself and I was so proud about, but when I saw the shelves now, I saw Raoul everywhere. It made me panic and cry even more.

Was this what my life would be like? Captive to a psycho who wouldn't let me go? Someone who raped me, made me hurt and then kissed it better, telling me he loved me? I shivered some more and went to the toilet, trying to make myself look decent before I would open up for the day. I knew I had to. Maybe doing the things I always did would make me feel better, eventually.

The day went slow at first, not many customers came in on Monday morning and in the early hours of the afternoon. But eventually they came and made me forget my troubles for the day. Right before closing I wondered if I should call the police and tell them what was happening to me. But would it help? Raoul was not here right now and if they would come when he was with me, maybe he would act normal, trying to make them see me as the crazy one…

Turning the open sign to closed I felt nauseous and scared. He said he would be back this evening and I knew he had been true in his words. I forced myself up the stairs and showered. The warm water made me calm down and gave me the guts to keep going. I would not give up my store. I just couldn't. I turned the shower off and dried myself, putting on my comfy suit. I had told Raoul I would make dinner and I would. Not for him, definitely not but I needed to eat too. I made some pasta with meatballs and tomato. My kitchen started to smell good when I decided to let the pasta cool so I could eat it a little later, not feeling like eating right now. I looked through my cabinets and saw enough stuff to make some banana cake, one of my favorites. I went to work, turning the radio on and enjoying being alone in my kitchen. I chopped the banana, added some walnut and mixed everything together. Within the next 20 minutes my banana cake was in the oven and I started to clean up after myself.

I was glad Raoul was not back, and I even dared to hope he would just leave me alone from now on out. Maybe he had, had his fill of me and would leave me be. I hoped really hard. It was getting dark outside, the clock already displaying it was 20.00. The kitchen was super clean when I turned the oven off and pulled the cake out, making the kitchen smell even better than before. I placed it on the counter top and then froze when I heard the door open.

Oh no.

'Darling, I'm home.' I took a shaky breath and felt so scared. He had come back. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I heard his footsteps in the hall and didn't know what to do. He was really back!

'Darling?' I heard his deep voice ask. As he came into the kitchen he seemed relieved before he smiled and walked in further.

'There you are, my darling.' He looked around, probably smelling all the food I had made. It made him smile even wider.

'Well it smells deliciously in here, you have outdone yourself my love,' he said. He came even closer and kissed me briefly before he looked around, one arm around my waist.

'Dinner ánd desert. I am a lucky man,' he said. He kissed my forehead before he released me and walked towards the kitchen cabinets. I couldn't bring myself to say anything, but he didn't seemed to mind.

'Well, please sit down and let me set the table for us.' I shakily did as he told me, watching how well he knew his way around my kitchen. It was scary to be honest. He poured us some wine and warmed the pasta, placing two plates on the table before he sat down himself.

'How was your day, my love?' he asked me, taking a bite. I licked my lips.

'It was good,' I softly said. He looked me in the eye, his eyes so captivating I almost couldn't break the contact.

'Have you had a lot of customers today?' he further tried to get me to speak. I just finished a small bite.

'A few.' He cocked his head to the side and watched me intently.

'How was your day,' I softly tried to distract him from me. He smiled a little.

'Good, very good. Busy but satisfying,' he said, his eyes boring into mine. I finished my plate and nodded, standing to get desert. I placed my plate on the counter top and reached for the cake when I felt him behind me, his arms sneaking around my waist, locking me in.

'That was a lovely dinner, my darling. And I would love to try that desert of yours. But right now, I need another kind of desert. I need you.' I felt his need against my back, scaring me immensely.

'Please,' I tried to stop him. I tried to move away, but his grip was strong. He wiped my hair over my shoulder, baring it so he could kiss me there.

'I will made love to you, it will be good. Come,' he spoke, pulling me even closer and turning me. I started shaking and froze. Not again. I didn't want him to force himself into my bode once more.

'No, Raoul. Stop,' I tried to stop him, but he simply grabbed my arms and pulled me with him, walking towards my bedroom.

'Shh come love.' I started crying. He walked us inside my bedroom before he closed the door behind us and released me. He stilled and watched me with an intense gaze before he pulled something from his pocket.

'I got you something on the way home, my love.' I tried to see what it was but I didn't recognize the product. He smiled and placed the bottle on the nightstand.

'It's to help you take me. It is lubricant.' I felt even worse. He had been planning this? Oh god no.

'I don't want you to take me Raoul. I'm serious. Please don't.' I pleaded, scaring away in the corner of my bedroom. His smile turned into a grin.

'You are just scared for the pain, love. I will make sure it will be good. Come now.' He undid his own pants and removed his shirt, shoes and even his boxers. I shook my head when he was completely nude and came for me.

'Don't make this hard, relax yourself,' he hushed me. His voice was ever so calm, even when I backed away even further. He chuckled, pulling me closer and removing my top.

'Please,' I begged. He pulled the material over my head and fondled my breasts the minute he bared them.

'You should not be so afraid. You know I will be gentle with you.' He gave me a little push so I landed on the bed and before I could even move he pulled my pants down, taking my panties with them. I tried to curl myself into a ball and away from him, but he was faster.

'Don't make me hurt you, darling. We will make love. It's up to you how good it's going to feel for you,' he said. He moved over me and forced his lips on mine, kissing me deeply. I felt his fingers travel my body until they landed on my stomach, feeling his way down until he was between my legs. His other hand kept me in place, but I was most focused on his finger that rubbed my clit.

'That's it, my love. Relax,' he said in between kissed. I gasped when he entered me with a single finger, slowly and gently.

'Good girl. You feel wonderful, yet still so tight.' I shivered. I decided to let him have me. He was right I was afraid of the pain. Also I didn't enjoyed this whole sex thing and certainly not with him. But after he was done, maybe he would leave me be for the night.

''Can you hand me the bottle darling?' he asked me, his voice husky. I slowly reached for the bottle, taking it from the nightstand, my hand shaking in the process. Raoul took it from me before I could even see it clearly, opening it and rubbing some on his fingers.

'This will help,' he said, entering me with two fingers this time. I froze. His fingers were cold now and very slippery. But he was right, he could enter me easily now.

'Does this hurt you?' he asked me, pumping me slowly with his two fingers. I shook my head in response. He smiled.

'We will enjoy each other with some other things too in time. Tonight I want you to just enjoy me. I will go slow and be gentle. Keep yourself as open as you can love,' he said. I tried, but when I felt his cock slide through my folds I froze.

'No fear darling. Let me make you feel good. Open your legs.' I was not even aware I had tried to close them. I opened them slowly, giving him even more room to lie between them. He took his time sliding himself between my lower lips, his thumb rubbing my clit. I tried to stop it, but it felt too good. I orgasm against his fingers, making him chuckle and kiss my forehead.

'So sensitive you are, little darling.' I took a deep breath and gasped in surprise when I felt him push himself inside of me, all the way. He felt cold, and I then realized he had coated himself in the lubricant so it would go smoother.

'Oh you feel so good, so tight. An angel you are,' he moaned before he stilled completely.

'I am all the way in now. It's not hurting you, am I right?' I managed to nod. He licked his lips.

'Good, now let's try this.' He pulled himself from within me, almost all the way before he push himself back in. I gasped. It was not painful anymore, but now completely pleasant either.

'Good girl. Let's keep this pace for a while, maybe it'll stretch you.' I felt my heart flutter. Instead of getting it over with, he was stretching this whole thing. He kept this slow pace up almost ten minutes, adding some lubricant when I he went a little faster.

'And how about this?' he asked, speeding up even more. I winced when I felt him go to deep, it was like he hit something deep inside of me.

'To deep,' I hissed softly. He pulled from within me. Kissing my forehead.

'I want to try something else. Maybe it'll be better for you and the pain. He took the pillows and placed them in the middle of the bed. I had no clue what he meant, until he helped me turn so I was on my stomach and my backside up in the air.

'Now spread them a little,' he told me, moving his hands to open my legs. I shivered. I felt so exposed. He fingered me briefly, before he put some lubricant on my opening. It was cold and I shivered some more.

'I'll warm you soon enough, my love,' he chuckled, fingering the lubricant into me. It was then I felt the tip of his member against my opening.

'Relax yourself down there, you are all tense again love,' he said, rubbing my clit. I tried, I really did. But he was not helping me at all. He pushed himself in and I winced from the intensity of this angle. He was almost sucked in and went so deep. But this time it was not hurting me, like he predicted.

'You're doing so good, my darling. You're practically milking me. It feels wonderful. He started fucking me in a slow, but steady pace. I wondered how long he was planning to fuck me this evening. He went a little faster every other minute, slowing down when I thought he would finally end this all.

'I don't want to come yet, angle. You feel too good. Let's see how many times I can make you come, before I do.'

It were those words that made my eyes water. He sped up again, using one finger to rub my clit, going from slow to full speed. He was driving me crazy. I felt my insides trying to move him, milking him, like he said. It felt so strange.

'Come for me darling, milk me.' I didn't want to, but I came again. Hard. I shivered and trembled.

'Now let's go for three, shall we?'


	14. Chapter 14

I was completely exhausted when he had finally spend himself inside of me and slowly pulled from within me. I collapsed on the bed and didn't even registered his movements around me. I felt the sheet being pulled over me and then my light went out completely.

It was only the next morning I finally woke to the smell of coffee. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see I was alone in my bed. No Raoul… yet. I sat up and winced. Images of last night instantly shot through my head. I felt ashamed and dirty. Standing from the bed I felt just how sore I exactly was. I grabbed my bathrobe, my body still naked. I could really use a shower but I just knew he would come and find me if I would not greet him first.

I pulled my bathrobe on and walked into the kitchen, finding him there, his laptop before him on the kitchen table. He instantly looked up, smiling when he saw me. He closed the laptop and placed it to the side.

'Good morning darling. How have you slept?' he asked. He stood and pulled a chair out for me, right next to him. I swallowed and reminded myself I needed to play along. I slowly sat down.

'Good. Thank you.' His smile widened and he turned to pour me some coffee.

I winced a bit, moving on the chair, something he seemed to detect immediately.

'How are you feeling, my love?' I took the cup from his hands and avoided looking in his eyes.

'Fine,' I answered. When he kept silent I slowly met his eyes, almost afraid to see what he was doing.

'You should not lie to me, my darling. I don't appreciate liars.' He sounded cold and it scared me to think about his capabilities when angry with me. I shuddered.

'I- I don't want to trouble you with my- with my pains,' I quickly said. His mood seemed to brighten instantly.

'My love, you could never trouble me with anything. I want to take care of you in every way I can,' he said, letting one hand trace my cheekbone. I forced myself to lean into his touch, praying he would stay in this kind mood with me. I needed to open my store in two hours. Maybe I would inform the police today… I needed to be free from this man.

'Drink your coffee, then we'll shower. The warmth will do you and your muscles good, I promise.' I nodded and slowly sipped my coffee. He smiled at me,placed on hand on my thigh and then pulled his laptop close again, opening it. Sitting this close I could see his screen. He seemed to be programming something, not that I understood any of it. But it was not your everyday mailing or scrolling through sites. What was he up to?

We sat for a few minutes in silence. Me sipping, he typing, until he suddenly closed the laptop and watched me.

'Come, let's take that shower darling.' I knew it was no use denying him anything, he would simply force me anyway. He took my hand and guided me to the bathroom, starting the shower. He undressed himself and then let his hands wander towards my bathrobe, opening it swiftly.

He tested the water before he motioned for me to go in first.

'After you darling, it's nice and warm.' I nodded and did as he said, stepping inside my shower. The water was indeed nice and warm and I enjoyed it, as much as I could with him next to me. He kept me close and I let out a startled cry when I felt his member against my leg, stiff and ready to go. I moved away, really not interested in feeling that inside me again.

'Please not again, not yet,' I pleaded. His eyes watched me for a second before he pulled me in his arms.

'Oh darling, I don't want for you to hurt, I already told you that. Come here. How much I would love to I will not make love to you right now.' He kissed my forehead and washed me softly. His hands moved over me as if I was his most precious belonging. He took his time, kneading my breasts and when he finished he slowly brought one hand between my legs, stroking me there. I gripped his hand, meeting his eyes.

'My finger should not hurt you darling. Let me feel you.' I really didn't want him to enter me with anything, but fighting him was to no use. He took my hands in one of his and the other rubbed my clit before he entered me with a single finger, probing me gently and softly.

'I love how tight you still are, a true virgin you were my love. Though it'll take you some time to adjust to me when we enjoy intercourse. But that's alright, I enjoy taking you slow like last night.' He fingered me with one finger and added another when he captured my lips in a deep kiss. I started shivering, what made him move even faster within me. When he added a third finger O broke the kiss and winced. He removed his fingers immediately.

'I apologize love, I let myself get carried away. let me help you reach complete relaxation.' He bowed down and I moved away, realizing what he wanted to do.

'Come here love,' he said, looking up. I shuddered.

'I never- no one has ever done that to me.' I hammered. He smiled and pulled me close, his hands on my behind.

'That's nice to know love. Just relax only my tongue will enter you. Come here.' I swallowed and let him pull me closer. I closed my eyes and prayed he would be done soon. I needed to get away from him. The moment I felt his tongue on my folds I let out a startled moan. He stopped for a second caressing my thighs with his hands before he licked me softly once again. He kept licking me until my shivering had stopped. I then felt his tongue puh a little into my folds before he entered me. It was such a strange feeling. He let me get used to it before he licked me and then sucked me hard. I almost came then and there. He repeated his ministrations a few times and then when he sucked my clit really hard, I shuddered and came, moaning. He licked me through my orgasms and then stood, pulling me in his arms, kissing my jaw.

'You taste really good my love. I love how perfect your body is. So feminine, so responsive and delicate. Your womanly folds are the most beautiful shade of pink.' I blushed hearing his words. He chuckled and then brought one of his hands on mine, guiding it towards his rock hard cock.

'Your vagina needs to heal, but I will learn you another way of sex.' He placed my hand firmly on his member and helped me stroke him a few times, making himself grunt.

'Just like that love, help me relax too.' I did not enjoy this at all, but I would do everything to keep that thing from hurting me again.

'Yes love, a little faster now.' He grunted as I moved a little faster, surprised to see how this affected him. He shuddered and one of his hands gripped my breast, kneading it firmly.

'Now love, I would love to feel your lips around me. Please kneel.' I looked up, meeting his eyes in shock. Was he serious?


	15. Chapter 15

'Kneel?' I asked, shocked and unsure. I was going to make sure he would not harm me, but giving him a blow job was something I really did not want to do.

'Yes darling.' I released his member and brought my hands towards my chest, suddenly feeling more naked than ever.

'I don't- I have never- I don't feel comfortable…' I stuttered. He watched me curiously. I could not say if he was mad or not, he seemed blank, like he was thinking how he would handle this. I took a little step back, shuddering from everything but coldness.

'I'm sorry,' I said, watching the tiles on the floor and feeling tears gather in my eyes. Would he make me do this too?

I shuddered, waiting in anticipation for his reaction. What shocked me most was the gentleness in his voice as his hand lifted my chin so he could see my eyes again.

'My darling, don't cry. I sometimes forget how innocent you are.' He pulled me close and kissed me very softly on my lips.

'Have you ever seen a man come undone, love?' he asked me. I blushed and answered with a soft no. He smiled.

'I should have known. Use your hands like you did before.' He guided my hand down his body once again, closing his eyes as I touched him again. It was something very unreal, stroking his member and watching the pained expression on his face as I did so. He grunted and told me to move faster before he pulled himself free and came onto the bathroom wall. I watched in shock, seeing his sperm hit the wall and then remembered the feeling when he would come inside of me.

'Oh my darling, that was just wonderful.' He kissed my jaw and neck, both of his arms around me. The way his strong body held me, his broad chest against mine and his lips kissing my body so fervently completely blew my mind.

'Let's wash up, you need to be in your shop soon, hmm?' he mentioned. I nodded. He gently washed me and then quickly himself before he turned the water off and we both got out of the shower. We both dressed and I realised he was not going out today when I saw he only pulled a shirt and some loose trouser on, watching me finish.

'I'll be working here today,' he said, standing beside me. I felt my heart drop. He would not go out? How would I call the police and get help? I nodded and finished dressing.

'I'll make lunch and bring it down, somewhere around noon.' I turned and watched him. How could we have this normal conversation like he had not just molested me moments before?

'That sounds nice,´ I softly said. He came a little closer and kissed me gently.

'Go, open your little store darling, I'll see you at noon.

The day went by fast. I was busy putting new books away and sending out orders. I had more customers than usual, what was nice and distracted my thoughts for a bit. I was only at noon I suddenly remembered Raoul. He walked in with two plates, smiling when his eyes met mine.

'Well hello love, hard at work I see.' He walked behind the counter and placed the plates down. It figured just now there were no customers around. Of all times to be here… none were.

I wanted to be unkind just to send him off, but I did not dared too. And the fact the lunch he brought smelled delicious was not helping either.

'That smells wonderful,' I said. He smiled even more.

'Thank you darling. Enjoy.' We ate in silence until he finished and walked around some shelves for a bit. He seemed to enjoy the peace and quiet. I put the plates away and then opened a new box of books.

'What would make you give up this store?' he suddenly asked me. I dropped the book I was holding, meeting his curious eyes. Mine watched him with uncertainty.

'Nothing. Only if I got ill or if I'd die.' My voice was firm. It was clear this part of me he could not have. he would not take it away from me. Not ever.

He smiled.

'Good, I like my women to have their own passions.' I was totally surprised with those words.

'I'll be upstairs. I'll see you upstairs when you have closed.' It wasn't a question. I nodded and let him brush his lips against mine, before he took the plates and left me alone.

That afternoon I was debating on calling the police. But I wondered how it would help me. Maybe they would believe me and take Raoul. But what if they would not and I'd have to face his wrath? I was feeling more depressed by the second, only distracted when a few customer came in and asked me for tips. Too soon I turned the 'open' sign to 'closed' and locked my store. It would be another long night. I ever so slowly walked the stairs and took a deep breath before I opened my front door. a door that used to make me feel safe. Not anymore.

Raoul sat at the table, still working on his laptop and speaking in Spanish on the phone. He nodded and smiled when he saw me, pointing towards the over. He had made some sort of casserole that again smelled delicious. However his tone was not sounding nice at all, his smile was warm. I walked towards the bedroom to change into a more comfy outfit, only realising I had done that when I re-entered the kitchen.

'Raoul was still talking on the phone when I walked in, his laptop now closed. He sounded angry and even while I did not speak a word in Spanish I understood he was not speaking friendly towards the other person. He raised his voice and suddenly I was glad he was not mad at me.

I started to deck the table and when the cooker went off I took the casserole from the oven. My mouth watered smelling the food that looked deliciously too. It was then I noticed the speaking in Spanish had ceased.

'My apologies for my tone, my darling. How was your day?' he asked me. I turned, placing the food on the table.

'Good, well pretty good actually. I sold more than I usually do on mondays,' I answered. He nodded, smiling.

'You are sure you are not a cook or something?' I asked him, watching the casserole I just placed down on the table. He chuckled.

'Positieve. But thank you for the compliment my love. Come sit and eat with me.' We mostly ate in silence, but when I felt awkward because of the silence I asked him about his Spanish and he seemed genuinely surprised with my interest in him. He taught me a few words and then helped me clean the table. It was then I realised he would probably rape me again. It made me stop talking, even when I sat down on the couch, he returning from the bedroom with a book in his hands.

'I thought I could read you some more, my love? You've must have had a long day.' He sat down beside me and pulled me into his side. His voice was magnificent for storytelling. deep and enthralling at the same time. On of his hands held the book, the other was massaging my scalp. It felt really nice and I felt like I was dreaming while reading the book. His words seemed far away, but I could understand them perfectly. I dozed in and out of sleep like I was feeling perfectly safe and secure.


	16. Chapter 16

It was the next morning I realised I needed to do something if I wanted for this facade to end.

Raoul was sleeping beside me, his face in total peace, his strong body lying still under my covers. Last night he had been so gentle, kind and caring. He had changed me and put me to bed, only my forehead kissed before he joined me to sleep. It were those moment that made me doubt everything. I knew the things he had done, and was still doing, were wrong, but he did care for me, in a sick way.

Maybe he would go out today and I would be able to alarm someone… I felt sick thinking about running and leaving my life, my bookstore. I realised it was my bookstore that bound me to this place and to him. He knew I would not abandon my store. It gave him power over me. Was my shop really worth all that?

To get him in the best mood, I softly raised from the bed and got dressed, making coffee and breakfast. I softly prayed he would leave. It only took him a few minutes to join me in the kitchen.

'Morning my darling, You are such a sight to behold,' he complimented me, stalking behind me, kissing my neck.

'I missed you in bed, my love, but it is nice you got up to make us breakfast.' I swallowed and forced myself to turn in his grasp, facing him. I smiled a little smile.

'I hope you like it, I made some egg muffins,' I said, my voice gentle. He smiled and bowed closer, capturing my lips with his. I felt one of his hands on my hip, the other around my neck, pulling me in.

I was completely breathless when he pulled back, his dark eyes watching mine.

'Well, we'll make up for this morning tonight. I am already longing to be inside you once more.' I blushed, what made him smile, before he released me and he sat down. I poured us both some coffee and joined him.

'I need to go out for a few hours today love, but I will return in time for dinner,' he mentioned. I nodded, feeling my heart flutter. He would be gone. I would have a chance to get away. I needed to take it, I had to.

'That is fine, I'll prepare dinner then,' I mentioned, as if I was not planning to get away. He smiled warmly at me, tasting the muffin.

'Darling, this is wonderful, I look forward to our dinner. I smiled back at him, eating in silence, until his phone went. He took another sip from his coffee before he took the call. His answered in some Spanish sentences I did not understand. His tone got darker by the second and suddenly he angrily stood, walking towards the window. His talking got louder and suddenly he yelled.

'Si no paga hoy, los matará a todos. No les muestres misericordia. Hazlos desaparecer'

He sounded so angry, and I froze. I did not understand what he was saying, but the last word sounded a lot like disappear and I feared for the other person on the phone, and myself. I had to free myself, maybe even if it meant I would not be able to be in my bookstore for a while. I could not work there being dead anyway.

He suddenly ended the call and took a deep breath, his hands going through his hair, before he turned and faced me again. I knew I looked scared, because I felt like that, scared as hell.

'My apologies darling. My shouting upset you.' He placed his phone in his pocket and walked back towards the kitchen table, joining me once more.

'You are completely white,' he mentioned, his eyes scanning my face. I swallowed. trying to shake the shock from my face.

'You would never hurt me, right?' I asked him, my voice small. His face surprised face turn from blank to worried. He went to grip my hands on the table and held them.

'Never, my love. Do not fear me, I beg you,' he seemed to sincere. Not like angry man on the phone I saw only moments ago. I nodded and tried to stop shaking, he brought my hands to his lips and kissed them.

'I need to go, but only if you will be alright, you are so white still, my love. I'm sorry for upsetting you, I will not make calls in front of you again. You have my word.' I quickly nodded.

'You just scared me a little, that's all, truly,' I said. He nodded and kissed my hands one last time before he stood and fetched his coat. He grabbed his keys and then walked over towards me, leaning down to kiss my lips gently.

'I will never hurt you, my love, and the one who will hurt you will suffer immensely.'

His words scared me greatly. It took me 20 minutes to even clean up the kitchen. What should I do? If I would not open up my store he would instantly know I was up to something. But staying here and waiting for him to come home to play along in his sick game was even worse. Did I have the balls to run?

An hour. That was not long enough for me to decide what to do. I made myself go downstairs and open my shop. It was raining outside, and I was glad I saw not customers the first hour. I searched the internet but found nothing about Raoul, help for me or any advice on what to do. I felt like crying and wondered the consequences of staying. I knew I survived everything so far, but how much longer would I be able to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Translation for the Spanish sentence:
> 
> Si no paga hoy, los matará a todos. No les muestres misericordia. Hazlos desaparecer
> 
> If he does not pay today, you will kill them all. Do not show them mercy. Make them disappear


	17. Chapter 17

I noticed I was staring into nothingness when suddenly the phone rang. I looked around me. Feeling caught in some way. I slowly made my way over towards the phone and took it.

'Goodmorning, yes this is the owner,' She politely answered the woman on the other end of the phone. The woman enquired about a book. It was one of the new books I recently had ordered and it was already laying around here somewhere.

'Of course, I'll be certain to save you a copy. Of course. We're open till five. Have a nice day Madam.' I hung up. Great this woman was planning a trip down here this afternoon. That meant that if I left, customers would notice, even with this rain. What to do now?

The day went by slowly. I was very aware I was throwing what could the be only chance of running away I had out of the window. My fears and nerves had won, again. Every time I saw someone pass the store I quickly glanced up, afraid to see Raoul there lurking around, watching me. But it was never him. I seemed strange that at some times Raoul was aware of my need of leaving, but he trusted me all the same. Was that because he was truly delusional, or had he set up a way to follow me if I tried to leave? I bit my lip as I thought hard on these facts. What was going on?

Eventually the day turned out to be very long and the customers had been few. The woman who had called me this morning came to fetch her book. I decided to close one hour early so I could do some grocery shopping. Walking through the rain gave me time to think some more. Why had Raoul picked me. Why we're we playing this game? Was it even a game for him? I sometimes feared he truly believed in this. That could not be, could it? With my mind completely distraught I bought necessities to make a lasagnette for dinner. Walking back home with my little bag of groceries I paid little attention to my surroundings. It still rained, cars passed me, no one bothered me except for the water falling down from the sky.

'Darling?' It was that voice. His voice. I turned around, almost dropping my bag seeing Raoul standing a few feet away from me. His coat and hair were wet from the rain. He watched me for a second before he came closer and took the bag from my hand.

'You could have told me you needed supplies. I would have gotten them for you, my love.' He gave me a smile and bowed close, capturing my lips for a soft, gentle kiss.

'Are you alright?' he asked me, taking my hand in his free, warm one. I nodded.

'Yes, yes I am. I just decided what to cook and I needed a few things,' I explained. He smiled.

'Come my love, let's get you inside. We can cook together since I am this early.'

His big hand gently held mine, while his other carried the groceries until we reached my apartment.

'So what are we cooking, my love?' he asked me, letting me walk up the stairs first. I pulled my keys from my pocket, opening the door.

'Lasagnette. I hope that, that is something you like?' I asked, aware I needed him to stay in this good, nice mood. I remembered his phone call from this morning. I did not want him to be angry with me.

I walked inside, while he followed me close.

'Darling, I love everything you make.' His hand stroke my cheek, before he walked past me and placed the groceries on the counter, turning to watch me.

'You are soaked,' I stated, watching him in his completely wet coat. He smiled.

'It's okay, nothing a warm shower cannot fix.' I gave him a small smile, turning to get the groceries from the bag and some into the refrigerator. I heard him move behind me, before I felt his body against my back. He had apparently taken his coat off, for I felt his warm chest and arms around me.

'It is so early love, come join me in the shower.' I shivered. That was not what I wanted. Not at all.

'You- You should go shower, I will cook for us. So you can relax after your shower.' I tried to convince him. He placed his nose against my neck, his lips nipping the flesh beneath.

'My love, you are what helps me relax. Come.'I felt his manhood pressing against my back. Hard and very ready.

'I'll just place some stuff away first. Go and start the shower. I will join you in a minute,' I hammered. He kissed my neck.

'Don't keep me waiting too long darling,' he told me, before gently kneading my backside before he released me. I almost sighed in relief. I slowly placed some items away, more stalling than actually doing anything that needed to be done. I heard him hum and then the shower running. I knew he would not like it if I wouldn't show up in the bathroom soon. But it walking towards the bathroom was a task on itself. However, I did. I slowly walked over, opening the door just a bit. I saw him already standing under the warm water. His strong body glistening with the water. He looked like some sort of god. He was tanned, muscular, the body of a god. He had his eyes closed, what made me hesitate for a second. Should I flee now?

'Darling?' he asked, his eyes suddenly open, watching me with a smile.

'Come here, love.' he said, opening the cabin door, watching me with warm eyes. I swallowed. He had raped me, undressed me multiple times and touched every part of my body. Yet, I still was uncomfortable in baring myself to his view.

'Love?'he asked, when I did not instantly moved. I bit my lip and fidgeted with my sweater. His endearing chuckle, made me look up, straight into his eyes.

'So innocent, so shy, aren't you my love? Let me help you, come.' He stepped from the cabin water dripping of his body. I noticed he shivered from the chilly air, but he ignored that. He undressed me with gentle, but firm hands, until I was completely bare to his view. I only now noticed his manhood, rising suddenly. He pulled me to the cabin, letting me step in first.

'Darling I need you so much. It is almost painful as much as I long the bury myself within your warmth.' I shuddered at his words. I had known he would take me once more walking inside the bathroom, but the words he used. They did something to me. He stood behind me, his hands on my breasts instantly, caressing them. I stiffened feeling his manhood pressing against my naked flesh. It caused him to chuckle.

'Yes darling. I am completely ready to enter you again. It is what you do to me.'He kissed my neck and one hand caressed my breast, while the other found it's way down my stomach, gliding between my legs. He was going slow, being gentle. I felt one finger gliding between my closed legs and lower lips. He licked my ear.

'Spread your legs a little for me, love. Open your beautiful pink folds for me.' I blushed at his words. Why did he speak during this? Why not just force me to spread my legs. Not wanting to anger him, I slowly spread my legs a little bit. He instantly used the space between my legs to stroke my clit.

'Good girl, let me pleasure you,' he continued. His strong body behind me became warmer and warmer, his manhood hard as a rock against my backside. I softly winced in shock as his finger entered me deeply. He was going slow still, but deep.

'Oh darling. You are so tight. unbelievably so. Try to relax some more.' Before I knew it he released my breasts and brought his other hand between my legs as well, using his finger to spread my folds. I froze a bit. He had never done this to me before. He seemed to notice my distress.

'I will never hurt you love, there is no need to tense up. Relax. This will help you come for me. Keep yourself as open for my as you can. I will help you.' I had no clue what he was saying or meaning, but while his fingers spread my folds, he fingered me with his other hand, two fingers going in deep. But that was not all the did with those fingers. He turned the inside of me, turning his angle every time. It was not painful, but it felt strange.

'Raoul,'I then moaned involuntarily. He seemed to have hit something inside of me. Something that made me feel strange. Like I would come, but also like I would relieve myself if he kept doing that. He brought his hands next to my ear.

'It it okay, love. I found your G spot. It is just a new feeling. Nothing to be afraid of. You are so responsive, I am certain you can squirt if I just-' I moaned loudly when he touched me just right. It felt good but almost as if it was too good. As if he touched me too hard at just the right place.

He kissed my neck hard when I registered what he had just said.

'Make me what?' I asked. He chuckled.

'You'll see. Enjoy, let it come over you.' I had no clue what he meant, but then he rubbed my clit and pressed his fingers inside deep and I lost it. I felt myself come undone like never before. It felt like I was wetter than ever, leaking harder then ever.

'You squirted, my love. I found you G spot.' I sighed deeply, feeling completely weared down.

'It felt - weird, and good. I-' He turned me in his grasp and kissed me deeply.

'It is something unique, not every woman knows how to do it, not every man is able to help a woman do it.'

'I felt more good then weird, yes?' he asked me. I nodded. He smiled.

'Good, good.' He kept me close to him and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes. I felt so tired all of a sudden.

'Maybe you should relax, my love. I weared you down quite a bit.' he chuckled. I opened my eyes, finding his quickly. He let his hand caress my breast, kissing me lazily.

'You are the most exquisite thing I have ever laid eyes upon. I will never stop pleasuring you my love.' He kissed me again.

'Let's wash, shall we. You seem too tired to be standing any longer and I need to be inside you before we cook that dinner.'


	18. Chapter 18

That night I was completely worn out and tired. Right after our shower, Raoul had once again worn me out with his stamina. He had seemed even more passionate than ever before, but without ever losing my needs and comfort out of sight. It made me crazy.

Right after he had cooked dinner and we had eaten with some small talk. I almost felt like we were becoming a actual couple. A normal couple. Except for the fact that we were not.

Despite how tired I was feeling, sleep would not come for me. Raoul was already sleeping soundly beside me, his hand loose on my waist. I still did not like his presence, but his touches bothered me less, I noticed. The thought made me wonder why and I asked myself if I was starting to suffer from stockholm syndrome. I tossed and turned a bit, before I decided to relieve my bladder one last time and drink some water. It might help. I slowly moved Raoul's hand from my waist and stood, immediately feeling a pain in my stomach. I had a slight idea what that could be and hasted myself to the bathroom.

My thoughts had been right, my period had come. Luckily. Although I was on the pill, the thought of becoming pregnant with Raoul's baby scared me straight once more.

I quickly searched my cabinets and thanked the lord that I had my period now, and not a few days before when I had been in Raoul's apartment. I found the little box of tampons. After washing my hands and drinking some water I headed back to bed. There was a long night without sleep ahead of me, and I dreaded it.

I could not remember falling asleep, but being wakened by soft kissed along my jaw and collarbone was not entirely unpleasant. Well, at least not until I opened my eyes and saw my personal demon.

'Goodmorning my angel, have you slept well?' Raoul asked me, his face inches away from mine. I had to blink a few times before I saw him clearly and then felt my stomach hurt me once more. Oh right, my period.

'I have, and you?' I asked, forcing myself to answer him. He smiled instantly.

'I have darling, always with you beside me.' He bowed closer and captured my lips with his, kissing me hungrily. I felt his hands wander down my body, gently nudging my legs apart. I froze and of course he noticed that.

'Easy darling, it is just me,' he softly spoke to me. I tensed.

'Raoul we cannot- we cannot have intercourse right now,' I hammered. He watched me, his smile still there, but a little less bright than before.

'Have I hurt you last night love? Are you in pain?' he asked, his voice filled with concern for me. I quickly shook my head.

'No, no.I just… It is that time of month for me, you know…' I answered embarrassed. His expression changed as fast as lightning.

'My love, are you in discomfort?' I shook my head.

'I am fine. I just - rather not be intimate while… I bleed,' I answered. He nodded.

'I understand darling. That is completely fine. Come let's get up and I will cook us some breakfast, yes?' he spoke, bowing down to give me a small kiss. I nodded and followed him, getting dressed.

While we ate the delicious breakfast he cooked, he happily drank his coffee and observed me.

'Darling, have you never closed your shop, even for holidays of sickness?' he then asked me. I took a small sip from my coffee cup before I answered him.

'I once had to close it when I had the flu, and I sometimes did for a long weekend.' He eyed me curiously.

'You should consider closing it a few days, so you can rest,' he told me. I instantly felt the need to go against him.

'I can't, I won't-' He hushed me.

'Darling, no need to get upset. It was just an option. You seem tired and I want you to be healthy and happy. What stops you from closing it, just a few days?' He asked me, his voice as calm as ever. I sighed.

'My customers need me, I need my shop.' And I needed the money of course. He nodded.

'I know your shop is your happy place, but a few days will not hurt anyone, believe me.' I bit my lip. I wanted to tell him otherwise, but I did not dare. He was his calm self and I had rather he remained that way.

'Raoul, I don't need to close my shop, tomorrow it is sunday, I will rest then.' He finished his coffee and smiled at me.

'Then just close it for today, rest and monday you can start all fresh again. I can take care of you, and we can spend some more time together.' I wondered what he wanted to do with me, now I had told him I did not want to get intimate and all being on my period. I also thought about the fact that he wanted me even without sex. So I was not just his plaything. That thought shocked me.

'I- I'd rather not,' I started but he shook his head.

'Darling, for today you will close your shop. I will go down and write something so your customers know you'll be back again on monday. A lot of store's do it, you know.' His tone was final. I shuddered and looked away. I knew he was not going to give in to me.

To make his point, he stood and fetched the keys to my shop, before he headed downstairs. I sighed and finished my coffee. Somewhere in the back of my mind it was nice that someone was thinking about me, caring for me. We were together for all the wrong reasons, but until this point, he seemed truly interested in keeping me healthy. I leaned back in my chair. I did felt a little under the weather, my stomach hurting and a dull headache present. Maybe this was not that wrong. I almost never felt sick, not sick enough to close the shop anyways.


	19. Chapter 19

I anxiously awaited Raoul's return. What was he planning on? Was he going to stay here with me all day too? The complete weekend? I heard his footsteps before I watched him enter the kitchen again. His eyes found me instantly and he smiled. He walked in and placed the keys back onto the countertop before he poured himself another coffee and joined me again.

'I don't have anywhere to be this weekend, my darling. I can work from anywhere. So we could stay here, go to my apartment, or we could go for a small trip.' His eyes watched me carefully. I swallowed. A trip? The thought of not opening my store today was enough to bother me a lot, but going away from home? With him. I instantly felt very nervous. He noticed immediately of course.

' My love, why so nervous?' he asked when I bit my lip.

'I- I am not nervous,' I hammered. He raised his eyebrows. I realised I had betrayed myself with my shaking voice.

He took a sip from his cup, his eyes still resting on me.

'Have you ever travelled, anywhere?' he asked me then. He seemed truly interested. I swallowed.

'Not really.' He nodded in understanding.

'That's fine love, we could take my car and spend the weekend somewhere different then here, but not too far away.' I was wondering why he was still taking my needs and fears in constant consideration. He already had me where he wanted me, didn't he?

'Maybe a nice little town, somewhere by the beach.' He thought out loud. I finished my coffee and played with the cup.

'Why don't you take a nice, hot shower darling. I will clean up and pack some things,' he suggested. It was the first time since he asked me to do something I felt the room to chose.

'Oke,' I answered, standing from my chair. I realised he wás really trying here. I turned and faced him again, his eyes watching me warmly.

'I do love the beach, although I only once went there,' I told him. He seemed surprised with my sudden need to answer him back. He smiled endearingly.

'Then the beach it is, my darling.'

Not even two hours later we were on our way. Raoul sat behind the wheel, one hand occupied with steering the other on my upper thigh, warm and big. I leaned in my chair, my stomach was still bothering me a bit, but watching the landscape go by was a nice distraction. Raoul seemed in his best mood too. He was humming with the radio every now and then. He would point out wild birds that flew by and places we passed he knew.

I wondered if this was what normal couples did. Just be together, hanging around. So far I had been so busy fearing the sex part he was forcing me to cooperate in, that this seems from another world. But I could not admit it was nice.

'And here we are darling,' his deep voice pulled me from my slumber. I watched the small cabin he parked nearby, it had to be very close to the beach, with all the seagulls flying over us. We stepped from the car, and I instantly smelled the salty air. I smiled.

I followed Raould to the back of the car to help him get our things, but the gave me a key instead.

'I'll take our bags darling, come,' he ushered me towards the small beach house. From this side it seemed a small, cozy building, nothing too fancy, but beautiful enough to take my breath away. I felt Raoul's presence behind me as I fumbled with the keys and unlocked the door, opening the door and walking into a very light room. I felt myself smile even wider. The other side of the house had a wall, completely made out of glass, so the beach was as close as it could be.

'So beautiful,' I spoke in awe as I walked closer and watched through the windows outside. The waves where rolling in, the sun lighting up little diamants in the water. I heard the door close behind me, and Raoul placing down our stuff. But I had not heard him come closer, until his arms were snaking their way around my waist, his warm chest against my back.

'Not as beautiful as you my love, but it is still a very nice view indeed.' He kissed my neck and I felt his hands roam my backside before he turned me in his arms.

'Do you own this place too?' I asked him, before he bowed down to kiss me gently. He smiled afterwards and nodded.

'This is my little secret escape, has been for almost a decade now.' I turned my head to watch outside once more.

'Why don't you live here instead of your apartment in the city? I mean, if you don't exactly need to be in the city for your work everyday.' I hoped he understood it was a genuine question, not a accusation. He kissed me once more, deeper this time and longer too.

'Because I need to be with you, my love.' His kisses grew more demanding, more needy until he suddenly pulled back.

'And I have a feeling that you will not leave your shop to follow me here, not even for this view,' he told me softly. I already opened my mouth to tell him I would never leave my store, but then realised he was just teasing me, trying to get a rise out of me.

'Ah so you are learning,' he teased some more, kissing my forehead.

'Tonight we will dinner in one of the best restaurants here in town, but for now we will relax, maybe take a walk on the beach?' he asked me. I nodded. Everything was still not right, but being here, with the prospect of him not forcing me to have sex did not seemed so bad. And he was being really nice, charming even. "For a sociopath" My mind told me. I shook the thought from my mind and followed him outside.

It was a sunny day, but not too warm to enjoy the rays of the sun. Without shoes in our hands we slowly strolled down the beach, my feet hitting the water every now and then. It felt wonderful.

'Darling, have you ever thought about writing your own stories?' his sudden question came. We had been walking down here for almost half an hour without speaking. His question took me off guard. I watched him from the side, seeing his strong form beside me, very muscled, strong and lean. He was a big man and seemed even bigger here, beside me with no one to compare him to.

'Not really, whatever would I write about anyway,' I answered. I noticed I sounded a little bitter, and hoped he had not noticed that too.

'Do I sense some bitterness in those words, my love?' he asked. So much for him not noticing…

'No - I mean. I have not exactly travelled a lot or experienced enough to write something, I guess…' I let my words die out. I was too insecure to write a story, but I loved reading.

Raoul stopped walking and stared at the sea. For a moment it was just him and me, the waves, the beach and nothing more.

'I believe the best writers are those who are good readers,' he suddenly said, gaining my attention. He smiled at me.

'Maybe you will come up with a story one day, and your own book would be between the ones in your store.' I smiled at him. It was nice of him to ask about it and to say such nice words.

'Thank you,' I told him softly. He seemed surprised.

'For being honest?' he asked me. I smiled.

'That and for taking me here.' He turning towards me and came closer, pulling me in his arms.

'You have no idea what I would do for you, my darling, if only you would promise me to never leave me.' I swallowed. I realised that he and I where best together while we would not discuss the terms on why I was with him. He would act most normal that way. But I still struggled with him holding my like some sort of captive. How could I not.

'Would you tell me more about your job?' I then asked him. It seemed to take him off guard for a bit, but the easily adjusted himself.

'What would you like to know, darling?' he asked me. I bit my lip, not sure what to ask. I had no idea what he did for a living, too have enough money for not one, but two houses and that enormous car.

'Well, I don't really know what you do… at all.' I decided upon. He looked down upon me, noticing my insecure state immediately.

'You don't have to weigh your words with me darling, I will never hurt or harm you.' I shyly watched his eye, while he licked his lips and pulled me beside him as we walked further along.

'I work in different markets. Real estate, some banking and I like art as well. I also have a few business that run well,' he told me. I wondered if I dared ask him about what I heard him talk about a few days ago.

'And are these business in our town or…' I started, he softly kneaded my hand in his big, warm one.

'Not exactly, I have them spread over different parts of the world now.' I nodded.

'Is that what Hashima is, a place or one of your businesses?'I asked then. I saw his smile turn into a grin.

'Very perceptive you are, my love. Hasima is indeed a place where I have some businesses.' I was not entirely satisfied with his answers, something inside me told me that he was a villain, a bad person who threatened people. But he was so gentle with me, so kind and caring I didn't dared to make him into the monster I expected to see every time I was afraid.

'Let's return shall we? Time to try that wonderful restaurant I told you about.

The food had been delicious and walking back over the beach was almost a surreal experience. Raoul did seem to know his way around here quite well and guided me over the sand, back to the little house. He opened the door for me and closed it behind us when we were inside.

'Let's take a bath, and then retire, hmm?' he suggested, walking towards the bathroom. I followed him slowly, not sure about that bath and where it could lead too.

Raoul started the bath, definitely big enough for his broad person and myself. He disregarded his shirt and then turned to watched me closely. His eyes eyed my chest hungrily.

'I know you are not comfortable with sex while you are menstruating, so I will not force you darling.' Those words made me feel better instantly. I very slowly removed my shirt, standing in my bra and shorts. He smiled approvingly. He opened his pants and removed them then completely, along with his boxers. He took my hand in his.

'Would you care to tend to me tonight, my love?' he then asked. I felt myself turn red. I froze thinking about what he meant. He pulled me closer and kissed me softly.

' Don't fear me, this can be good for the both of us too.' He removed my bra swiftly and kneaded my breasts. While he kissed me gently at first, his kissed became more hungrily and wanting. Out of breath he ended the kiss, placing his hands on my shoulders.

'I will not force myself down your throat, but I would love it if you would try it. For me.' I watched him with fear written all over my face. I had never done it before, but it was the second time he asked it of me, and I realised he was asking it a lot nicer than before, again giving me a choice.

I slowly sank to my knees, watching his member before me, thick and wide. It still scared me a bit. I placed my hands on him and instantly heard him moan in delight. I stroke him a few times before I watched up, meeting his eyes. I was totally unsure on how to proceed.

'You can do nothing wrong my love, just don't use your teeth please.' I swallowed and very slowly licked the tip of his member. He shuddered and moved to sit on the side of the tub. he gripped the edge of the tub.

'Go on darling.' I licked him once more, then boldly taking him in my mouth a bit. He then moved one hand on the back of my head, guiding me gently. It surprised me how quickly he came, for he usual lasted long and had a lot of stamina. He shuddered, almost growled and pulled from me. It saved me from him coming in my mouth or on my body. He took some deep breaths before he cleaned himself and extended his hands to pull me from my kneeling position.

'Darling, that was wonderful. really.' He pulled me in for a kiss as I felt his hard muscles against my chest. He released me and tested the bathwater before he helped me completely out of my clothes.

'Let's relax for a bit, hmm?' He helped me step inside the tub, easing himself in behind me, pulling me close.

'You are so soft and delicate, my darling, I love every inch about you.' His words turned me red. I was not delicate at all, in my own eyes. I wondered how he could be thinking that. He stroke my hair from my neck and kissed the skin beneath.

'One day you will see yourself like I do. In all your glory.' He kneaded my shoulders and continued to kiss my neck.

'Maybe later we can read some more, darling. That story was getting really interesting.' I nodded.

'Sure,' I answered, he pulled me even closer.

'What would I do without you, my little booklady.'


	20. Chapter 20

That night, after the bath, we sat down on the patio outside. It was dark, only the small heater warming us up. We sat on two of the small patio chairs, enjoying the silence there. Raoul was staring at the beach, he seemed lost in his thoughts. I wondered what his thoughts contained. Was he thinking about his work, his businesses or maybe about me asking him questions? I softly sighed and pulled my thick blacked I stole from the couch within the house a little higher up my legs.

'Are you cold, darling?' Raoul's deep voice instantly came. I looked up and met his gaze.

'Not with the blanket,' I answered. He cocked his head to the side and watched me. It was the first time I realised he was the only person who would just gaze upon me, like that was all he wanted to do at this moment. Like I truly was important enough to take up his time.

'Shall we head inside, darling?' He asked me, slowly moving to stand from his spot after I nodded. He extended his hand from me to take and gently pulled me from my chair.

'You lied,' he stated. I froze. What did he mean? I swallowed thickly before he pulled me closer and kissed my hand.

'You were cold. Your hand is freezing.' I relaxed instantly. I had to admit that his hand was a lot warmer than mine.

'It was so nice to be outside, I hardly noticed,' I answered. He shook his head and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

'My angel, come, let's get you warmed up, hmm?' He pulled me with him inside. The bedroom was small, but cozy. The bed was large enough for Raoul's long body. He removed his shirt and stripped down to his boxers. I turned around and removed my shirt, keeping my underwear on. When I turned back, Raoul was pulling the book he had been reading me from out of a bag and installed himself in the bed. I followed his movements and stepped between the sheets beside him. He placed the book down on the sheets and wrapped one arm around me, pulling me against his side. However being this close made me shiver and nervous, he was solid and very warm.

'Let me warm you darling,' he said, bowing down to kiss me slowly, before he gripped the book from the bed and opened it. Listening to his voice was almost hypnotizing. He sounded so masculine, so powerful and yet he could point out every vulnerable moment as he read along. I noticed I leaned more and more against him, until me head was against his warm chest, my eyes closed as I listened to his voice. I could feel it when he spoke, his voice making his chest move a bit. It was making me feel safe and sound. I didn't fully memorized the part where I fell asleep and he stopped reading. But I did recall falling into a deep slumber, feeling warm and safe.

Sunday came and after a lovely breakfast, made by Raoul, we left for my apartment again. I noticed I felt rested, and Raoul's mood seemed to be brighter than ever, humming with every song on the radio, every now and then glancing in my direction.

'Darling, you mentioned Hashima yesterday. That is one of the places I have a running business. I would love to take you there soon,' he told me. His words sounded gently, nice even, but his tone was different, more dominant. I said up straight.

'Uhm- when and how long would we be gone?' I asked him then. He turning his head and watched me slowly. He seemed surprised with my answer, probably not sure why I was not protesting as fiercely as he had anticipated.

'A few days, a week at the most.' I nodded. I realised I would have to close the shop then. I knew people who owned stored would close them when they went away from the holidays, but I just didn't liked it to be forced upon me.

'And when?' I then asked him. He licked his lips, watching the road before us.

'Soon.' It was all that was spoken before we drove into town and he parked the car before my store. Nothing had changed at all, everything was neatly locked and in its proper place.

'See, your store can handle being left alone for a little while, my love,' Raoul told me, while we made our way upstairs. I ignored him comment and was happy to walk into my own safe home. I had liked the little getaway, but besides making me feel safe, it had also made me very aware that this whole thing we were doing was wrong and not real. Bringing it up with Raoul would be dangerous so I kept my thoughts for myself. Him talking about taking me with him to Hashima was scaring me. What would he do with me, somewhere I was not familiar and he was?

'I have to work for a little while, darling. I will be here in the kitchen.' I nodded and walked into the bedroom where he had placed our bags.

'I will unpack and prepare us dinner, take as long as you need,' I answered. I was astounded with my nice answer. It was almost sweetlike. Raoul seemed to notice it too, smiling back at me before he installed himself in the kitchen. I took my time unpacking and doing the laundry. I went through my cabinets and then went to prepare the promised dinner. How long would we keep up this facade?

The next few days went by fast. Raoul worked in my kitchen, behind his laptop while I was down in my store. He made us lunch, that we would eat in the store, before he would go back upstairs. He seemed a little more occupied with whatever he was doing while I ran the store. One day I walked upstairs to find him on the phone, speaking Spanish. His tone was cold and harsh, but I did not understood his words. As soon as he noticed me, he ended the call and made us dinner.

It was thursday night, we sat on the coach, Raoul working on his laptop, me watching one of my favorite movies that happened to be on tv that night, Dirty Dancing. I was yawning, feeling tired as I forced myself to stay awake and watch the ending because, you know, nobody puts baby in a corner. While Raoul was still typing away, suddenly his phone rang, startling me. He chuckled, taking his phone in his hand, while his other hand stroke my hair.

'I'll be taking this, you watch your movie, darling,' he kissed the top of my head and then stood. He walked away and I heard him go into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

He had not lied when he told me he would not take phone calls in front of me anymore. As if he seemed truly serious about not scaring me away. I pulled my legs upwards and with a strange feeling I watched the end of the movie. Why couldn't I be baby? I wondered sighing. Why was he even taking phone calls with people who would engage in conversations that would scare me? Why was he getting so riled up on those calls? I remembered the last time he had spoken to someone on the phone in Spanish and he was truly frightened me with his tone and his words. What exactly was he doing with his businesses?

I made myself a little more comfortable on the couch and lied down, closing my eyes while the commercials bored me on the tv screen. While I was determined to not fall asleep until he returned, I of course did. His gentle hands woke me, when they carried me into my bedroom and slowly placed me on the bed.

'Did you even catch the ending of the film, my darling?' he asked me teasingly, while I opened my eyes and sought his. I sleepily realised what was happening and forced myself to nod.

'You had a long day in your store, hmm? He asked me, sitting down beside me on the bed, his hand on my side. His touches still made shivers go down my spine, even after all this time we had spent together.

'It was a fine day, really,' I said softly. He smiled and bowed down to kiss me on my lips.

'Let's get ready for bed shall we?' he said, standing up and undressing himself. I sat up on the bed and undressed too, keeping my underwear on. I slipped between the sheets and turned on my bach, sighing softly. I felt so good to be in bed. Raoul too, slipped under the covers. I felt his hands reach for me, but instead of pulling me against his side, he rolled on top of me. I was surprised and a little startled.

'You are feeling better again, right. your monthly time has passed?' he asked me, kissing my neck and jaw, with hot kisses. I felt my heart sink, thinking about his motives behind his question. He would take me again this night. I thought about lying. Telling him I still was not feeling well, or bleeding. But the fear for this man was still bigger. I feared he would check me or something. Maybe he would make it fast tonight, knowing how tired I was…

'Yes,' I answered him, sighing when he suddenly kneaded my breast in his warm hand.

'Good,' he answered with his deep voice, removing my bra swiftly, before he placed his lips on my breast and kissed and suckled them. I closed my eyes and tried to think of other things, being somewhere else. But the fact I hated him for what he did to me and my body, did not detract from the fact he was very skilled in making my body feel good.

I felt his hand stroke my stomach, before he slipped one finger under my panties. I took a sharp intake of air and opened my eyes when he started rubbing my clit fast, his eyes right before mine.

'Don't hold back darling. Let me hear you.' I sighed when I felt one of his fingers enter me, slowly adding another.

'Still tight, so very tight,' he murmured, kissing me lovingly. He fingered me nice and slowly before he pulled his fingers back, rubbing my clit once more. When he moved his mouth to my breast and sucked my niple hard, I shattered. He kept rubbing me, while I had closed my eyes from the intensity of all the feelings.

When he removed his hand from between my legs it was not for long, as he adjusted himself and I felt his member pushing slightly against my opening.

'I want you to keep your eyes opening during your next orgasm love, I want to see you come.' His order was nice enough, but I caught his tone of dominance in it. He bowed down to kiss me hungrily. Before he pushed himself inside of me. He went slow enough, but I could not help but gasp at the feeling of this intrusion. He was large and wide and I suddenly remembered why I did not liked being penetrated by him. He was really huge.

'Easy darling,' he muttered against my lips as I felt my muscles move around him trying to relax but failing.

'You are thinking too much, love, don't fear me,' he said, watching me deeply in my eyes. I gripped his upper arms, not even realizing I did that at the moment. It halted Raoul's movements.

'Does it hurt, my love?' he then asked. I was not really sure. It just felt too much. Too full.

'Not- not really, just wait- just wait a second,' I hammered, taking a few shallow breaths. Raoul did just that. He stayed frozen, his member completely buried deep down inside of me, but never moving. He did kiss me softly, whispering some Spanish words. He seemed to sense when I relaxed my muscles, for he slowly pulled himself from within me, only to start a steady pace.

'You feel wonderful, my darling. You were made just for me.' I heard his words but did not register him as he slowly moved within me. I was just deciding he would not make me come once more, when his fingers found my cli and rubbed me gently. I gasped when he moved a little faster, his chuckle haunting my ears.

'Open your eyes darling,' he ordered me. I moan softly as he rubbed me a little harder, opening my eyes, just to see his above mine. He smiled and moved even faster now. He groaned loudly when he spilled himself inside of me, driving me over the edge with him. He was watching me intensely, like he wanted to savour every moment.

'So look absolutely beautiful when you orgasm, darling. So beautiful, so ripe and yet so innocent.' His words made me blush, and that made him chuckle.

'Truly innocent I see,' he said, kissing me, before he looked between our joined bodies, pulling himself from within me.

'I'd rather stay inside you darling, it feels so right.' I on the other hand was glad he did not do just that. Even when his member was not erect, he was huge. It was a relief to feel him slip from inside of me. I sighed softly when he rolled off of me. He lied on his side and pulled me against him, his hand possessively around my breast.

'Darling, tonight I will be elsewhere, I am needed in Hashima and will depart tonight.' I turned to watch him. Was he serious? He pulled me against him once more. I pulled the sheets a little more upwards, so I could cover my breasts. He watched me interested, like he was wondering what I would say to that.

'Tonight? When… when will you be back?' I asked him. I feared he would want to take me with him, but then he would have said something earlier, right? Now I just feared he would not trust me enough to leave me alone here.

'I hope soon, my love. I am not sure yet,' he answered. For the first time I noticed he seemed tired himself. He stretched himself and then he pulled the sheets from my hands. I let him, not sure what he would do.

'I need to watch you once more, have you once more,' he muttered. I panicked a little bit when I felt him grow hard again against my leg. No. No. No. Not again. Please not now. But Raoul's stamina was admirable. He completely threw the sheets from the bed so I could not hide myself anymore. His hands opened my legs wide while he slipped himself within me once more. He started a fast pace, groaning even louder then before. I saw little drops of sweat on his forehead, his hands resting next to my head. I started to feel sore, because of his fast thrusts and how deep he went. I only wanted him to finish soon, so I closed my eyes and remained silent, hoping he would not force me to come again. I was sure I just couldn't.

I opened my eyes in shock when he pulled himself from within me and rolled me over, and forced me on my knees. He again widened my legs as he slit inside of me, even deeper this time.

'Stop, stop,' I quickly said, trying to move away as he hurt me with his deep thrusts. He slowed down a bit, but did not stop.

'Darling,' he groaned.

'Raoul it hurts,' I said, still trying to move forward and away, but his hands on my hips kept me perfectly in place. At those words he pulled from within me. He turned me again, sa I sat facing him. I was shocked, he seemed so wild, so completely in control. I shuddered a bit.

'I- I am sorry- it just- it hurt,' I said, looking away from his intense gaze. I swallowed, unsure what he would do now.

I froze when I felt his finger under my chin, lifting my chin so my eyes met his.

'Don't apologize, I should. I lost myself. I am sorry darling.' He moved on his back and pulled me on top of him. I shuddered from the sudden change of ambiance. I was not sure what he wanted of me, before he helped me move to straddle him.

'You decide our pace this time, take me inside of you darling,' he told me. I was completely unsure how to proceed. I moved my hips up and was glad his hands were suddenly there, assisting me. He took himself in his hand and positioned his member against my opening before he placed his hands on my hips, forcing me down slowly. I closed my eyes feeling him go in once more. It was very intense like this, but like he said, I could take him in as deep as I wanted, not deeper. I decided our pace. His hands on my hips stayed, helping me move as making me move a little faster. He soon started groaning again. It was weird being on top of him, feeling his broad muscular thighs beneath me. He licked his lips, his eyes watching me with renewed energie.

'Darling, I need, I need to be on top of you now,' he groaned, his voice hoarse. I nodded as to give him permission. He nodded too, quickly rolling us over, before he drove himself inside of me at a faster pace. It was not too fast, it seemed he truly tried to not hurt me.

'Oh my love, I need you, you fit me so well.' He added some Spanish words I did not understood until I felt him spill himself inside of me once more.

'Darling, that was - wonderful, really,' he said, kissing me hungirly. He then pulled from within me, sitting up. I slowly followed him.

'Will you be alright if I leave for a few days, my love?' he asked me. I was surprised by his question.

'Of- of course,' I then answered.

'I have placed my number in your phone, it is on the kitchen counter. Don't hesitate to call me if you need me. Not even if you just want to hear my voice.' I nodded.

'I will miss you, my love, and next time I will bring you with me, I promise. Don't leave the house other than for opening your store or groceries.' He kissed me deeply and then stood from the bed. After a quick shower and another deep, long kiss, he left. I could only comprehend the fact he had left me, when I realized I would sleep alone in my bed tonight, and that made me feel truly relieved and happy, feelings I had not had for a long time.


	21. Chapter 21

I spend a lot of time staring out the window that night. It was completely dark out on the street, only the little bit of light from my store lighting up the road. What should I do? Raoul had not returned after a few hours. In the back of my mind this felt like a test. Maybe he was trying my word. Maybe he was just outside, watching my every move. He was crazy enough to do it.

He had warned me not to leave my house other than for groceries or to go to my store. I stood from the bed and wondered to the kitchen. Raoul had mentioned my phone before leaving. The device lay forgotten on the countertop. He had kept it with him al these past days. Why would he suddenly trust me with it now? Had I played my part so well?

I took my phone in hand and unlocked it. I had expected some differences in the device, but after scrolling around, I found none. I even saw he left every number in there, all my friends, the only change was he had added his own number. His number was behind his name, followed by heart emoticon. It sent shivers down my spine. I quickly sought Georgia's number and send her an app if she was okay. I took a seat at the kitchen table, almost dropping my phone as it went off. I placed it on the table, only relaxing a bit when I saw it was Georgia calling.

'Georgia?' I answered my phone. It felt almost strange to call someone, like I was not allowed to do so.

'Girl I have been so worried about you! Are you alright?' I heard her concerned voice on the other end of the line. I hesitated a moment. I was not sure what to tell her.

'Yes, I'm alright. I just have been…. busy is all,' I told her. She remained silent for a little while.

'Are you sure?' she asked. I swallowed.

'Georgia, I - I met someone and… I was just so caught up in it I forgot everything else for a bit,' I lied. I decided it was better that if I would run from Raoul, I would not pull my friend down with me.

'Oh honey, that is wonderful news!' she said enthusiastic. I took a deep breath in relieve. She bought the lie.

'Yeah I know. Maybe we can catch up soon?' I said, knowing we probably wouldn't. She agreed and for a few minutes we talked about some light conversations, until we said our goodbyes to finally go to sleep. With a heavy heart I placed the phone on the counter once more. Would Raoul be awake? What was he doing?

I was feeling tired, but knew I would not be able to fall asleep. I had so much to worry about. Was I even safe? I tried to work out scenarios of what if's, like, what if I go to the police, or what if when I just run away and never come back. But they all made me feel even more scared as to what Raoul would do if I ran away. I swallowed and dragged myself to my bedroom to lay down on the bed.

'Why is this happening to me?' I thought out loud. I felt tears gather in the corner of my eyes. It would be a long night, I knew. To make it a little more bearable for myself, I took a hot shower, washed my hair, I need his scent to be gone. I changed the sheets to my bed and then exhaustedly fell on the bed, sleep coming almost instantly as I pulled the sheets over myself.

The sound of rain on my window woke me the next morning. I watched my alarm clock and saw it was very early still. Wide awake I stood from my bed and got dressed. I made myself some coffee and slowly sipped from the hot substance enjoying the complete silence. Even though I had been alone in my bed this entire night and morning, I was not rested at all. I just could not find peace in the fact he could be watching me, or maybe he would come barging in the next hour or so. A buzzing sound startled me. It was my phone. I saw I had a text message. I touched the device once, seeing a name appear with the message, a name I did not want to see. His name.

I slowly unlocked the phone and hesitated before tapping on the message.

"Good morning darling, are you alright?"

He could not have seen I was awake yet, I figured. It seemed he was just checking in on me, letting me know he still thought of me. I slowly typed my reply.

"Good morning to you too, everything is fine. How are you?"

I saw he was still online, typing a reply.

"Good, my love. I have a busy day ahead, but don't hesitate to call me if you need me."

I quickly typed back.

"Have a good day."

Right after sending me his reply, he was offline. Maybe he was really busy.

"You too, mi amor. Enjoy your day."

Strangely enough, I did enjoy my day after our little chat. I opened my store, as usual and spend the day like nothing had ever changed at all. It was almost like Raoul had never come and stole me away. I noticed my mood lightening with every hour passing. At least, I did until a man walked inside my store. I recognized him from a few days earlies, when he had asked me out with Raoul just beside me. I swallowed and greeted him like I would any other customer, attending to my work until he stood right before my counter.

'Good afternoon,' I started, seeing him smile upon me.

'Well hello,do you recognize me? I was here the other day, you wrapped my books rather nicely.' I gave him a small smile. While he was not Raoul and not a danger to me in any way, I still did not feel comfortable. I did not know why though.

'Ah, I think I do, did you enjoy the books?' I asked him. He nodded and then smiled back warmly.

'I thought maybe you could help me find some other books too, you know, similar ones.' I nodded and walked around my corner, freezing when he suddenly grabbed my hand.

'Is that big guy really dating you?' he then asked. I quickly pulled my hand from his.

'Yes,' I answered shortly, not liking his sudden advances. He took a step back.

'I apologize, it just- seemed odd,' he added. I turned, taking a step back as well.

'How so?' I asked him. I knew Raoul was far better looking than most men and I was looking - well, rather usual. But where did this guy get the nerve from to judge me. To judge Raoul. He did not know us at all.

'I don't know, I just think he seems a little too rough for someone as kind and gentle as you. I meant no offense.' Those words hung around us in the air for a while, before he suddenly got nervous.

'Well, I really only came for another chance at your number. So I'll be going now. I am sorry if I startled you.' He gave me a nod and left the store, leaving me dumbfounded.

That night I was sitting for the tv, eating some pasta and watching the news. Nothing interesting had happened so I was reading a book, while taking bites from my fork. I dropped it when my phone rang. I quickly stood, trying to remember where I had left the phone earlier. I found it on my bed, answering it just in time.

'Darling?' came Raoul's warm spanish accented voice. I swallowed hard.

'Hello Raoul,' I answered, taking my seat on the bed.

'Are you alright my love? I miss you,' he spoke. I shivered. His words made me scared, but I also liked the fact he was thinking about me. That last thought scared me even more. Why did I want him to care for me?

"I'm fine, I had an easy day at the store. How was yours?' I asked him. He answered thoughtfully.

'Rather - eventful. But good. Have you had a lot of customers?' he asked then. I was surprised he was inquiring after my sales and my day.

'A few actually. But it has been raining all day, and still is, so it was not that busy.' I heard him make a sound of understanding.

'Here it is rather warm, and dry, the sun can be so unforgiving,' he told me.

'Don't get sunburned.' the words left my mouth before I realised they were words of concern. His chuckle was so familiar, so warm that I shuddered.

'I won't my love, don't forget my skin is tanned. I will be fine. But will you be, this night, all alone?' he asked me. I felt a small smile play around my lips.

'Of course I will. I'll just do some reading.' In my head I pictured him to nod and smile at my words.

'That's my girl, have an early night darling and sleep well, I hope to be back tomorrow evening, although it could be a day longer.'

'Okay, have a good night yourself and - be safe,' I added, mentally slapping myself. He seemed surprised, for he did not instantly answer.

'Of course my love, I will return to you. Now go read your little book, and sleep well. I love you.' I almost dropped the phone at those last three words, not realising he had ended the call, before I could answer.


	22. Chapter 22

I woke that next morning, feel rested, although I could not shake the unsettling feeling from my mind. I felt like I needed to do something. I needed to run or stay forever. This was my one chance, maybe the last one I would ever get. I turned on my back and stared at the ceiling.

The three words he had spoken last night had made me even more frightened. He loved me. I swallowed. He was truly insane for believing this fairytail of his. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes. I should run. I really should.

Later that day I was working in my store. The weather was better, so it was quite the busy afternoon. I smiled at the children who happily ran between the books and picked whatever book looked good to them. I used to be like that. Carefree and happy. But not anymore. I still had put my mind on running, but something inside me kept shoving it away from actually pulling through. I felt so guilty for it. A part of me seemed to enjoy the attention and care Raoul gave me, no matter how sick this whole situation was. I never had, had more attention from anyone.

Around four I closed my shop. I decided to do some groceries and if by then I had not made up my mind about it, I would just take my car and go somewhere to clear my head for a while. I bought some things for on the go and slowly made my way home. Placing the groceries away was a job done without too much thinking. I placed a bottle of olive oil in the cabinet when there came hard knocking on the door. I froze for a minute. I feared Raoul had returned, but then remembered he had a key. It had to be someone else. Maybe Georgia?

I walked over towards the door and then opened it a little bit, seeing a man standing on my doorstep. He eyed me curiously. He seemed tough, not like Raoul, but still he seemed too muscular and sharp to work in some office.

'Hello?' I said. The man had piercing blue eyes, taking me in.

'Good evening miss, My name is Bond. Agent Bond.' He showed me his ID. I watched the card, not knowing what to look for. It could be a fake for all I knew.

'What can I do for you agent?' I asked him, my voice unsteady. He placed his hand on the wall and took a minute for he spoke.

'I am looking for mr Rodriguez. He was seen here this past week. Leaving your house miss.' I felt myself grow cold. I never heard that name before, but I instantly knew he meant Raoul.

'I don't know anyone who goes by that name,' I answered. At least that was not a lie.

Agent Bond watched me with curious eyes.

'Are you sure miss? He was seen leaving the apartment through the door.' I opened the door a little wider.

'Agent Bond, I am not lying to you, I don't know anyone who's called that.' Agent Bond cocked his head to the side, handing me a card.

'This is my card, please call me when someone with that name does show up. And maybe you should ask the man leaving your house earlier this week about his last name.' Agent Bond nodded once, taking a step back.

'Oh and if mr Rodriguez is not here, you will not mind some of my men guarding your door right?' he added. I noticed his eyes seemed even brighter, even more blue. Why was he searching for Raoul?

'Not at all agent Bond, have a good evening,' I said, closing the door. I bit my lip. Should I warn Raoul? Should I leave? I decided taking a little drive around town would only do me good. I grabbed my coat, wallet and phone and left my house. I saw my street was completely empty. That agent had to be just trying to scare me into talking with his agents watching my door.

I drove around town for a bit, parking in front of the starbucks, deciding I would call Raoul to warn him. I still was not sure about him and if he was crazy or not, but I needed him on my good side, even when I would decide to run away. I pulled my phone from my pocket and called him, the phone ringing exactly one time before he answered.

'Darling,' his warm voice came through my phone.

'Raoul I - I have left my house to go for a drive,' I said. I noticed my voice sounded scared, trembled even.

'Darling, are you alright? Why have you left your apartment?' he asked. I swallowed.

'There was an agent on my doorstep earlier this evening.' Raoul remained silent for a little while.

'An agent?´ he asked. I softly answered with yes.

'He asked about mr Rodriguez,' I added. Raoul chuckled.

'And what did you tell him, darling?' he asked. I had expected for him to be angry maybe, or irritated, but he sounded just as calm as usual.

'That I don't know anyone who goes by that name.'

'That's right love, you don't. I never shared my birth name with you and with a reason. I will explain, once I get back though.'

'He told me he was leaving agents to watch my door,' I continued. Raoul sighed deeply.

'Darling, everything will be fine. Go home and wait for me, I will be there in the morning I reckon.'

'And the agents looking for you?' I asked, realising how worried I sounded. Where was that coming from?

'My love, I have nothing to fear from any agent. Believe me.' I swallowed thickly.

'Raoul, I don't feel comfortable going home,' then said. There was a small silence.

'Darling, why ever not?' He then asked me.

'I don't know what is going on Raoul.' He sighed deeply.

'You think the agents are searching me for a reason?' It was the first time he sounded irritated.

'I don't know,' I answered, my voice small.

'Darling, I love you, I would never hurt you or put you in danger. Believe me.'

'Maybe it is okay if I left for just a little while,' I softly told him.

'No darling. Running will not keep you safe, who knows what you are running towards, hmm?'

'Raoul I don't want to go back home until I know what is going on,' I told him, trying to sound firm. He sighed.

'I understand. Then go to the beach house.' I was flabbergasted. He was not angry with me?

'The beachhouse?'

'Yes, do you remember how to get there?' I thought hard. I think I would be able to find the way.

'I think so, but how do I get in?' He instructed me the code of the alarm system and assured me he would make sure there was a key in a lock near the front door. He gave me a short direction as how to drive.

'Go there and wait for me darling. Don't do anything rash. Please,' he asked of me. I softly answered.

'I won't.'

Hours later I was on the road, trying my hardest to take the right turns. It was hard in the dark. There were only a few other cars riding on the highway. It made me calm being in the car, on the road, listening to the radio. I softly hummed along with a song, until a black mercedes suddenly passed me very closeby. He stayed in front of my car for awhile, then slowed down and passed me once more. I felt myself grow cold. What was that other driver doing? I slowed down a bit, hoping the mercedes would go away, but he also slowed down. I froze.

I could not see into the other car, so I had no clue if it was a man or woman behind the wheel, but it scared me shitless. I took a few turns and was happy to see I did remember the way. I somewhere had lost the mercedes and almost ran in my haste to get inside. I quickly typed the code on the panel and found the padlock with the front door key easy enough. I was just walking inside when I again saw the mercedes. I quickly shut the door and locked it, dialing Raoul.

'Darling, have you found the way?' he asked. I shivered.

'I did, but there was a car following me and now it's right outside the house.' I felt tears gather in the corners of my eyes. I was totally frightened. What wás going on?

'Lock the door, I am on my way.' It was the only instruction he gave me, his voice hard and cold. I let my phone glide to the floor as I followed myself. I knew that a door would not keep anyone from barging in when they really wanted too. Or when they have weapons. But I hoped from my spot here, on the floor, they would not be able to see me. Minutes ticked by. Maybe even hours. I registered footsteps around the house and froze even more. There was even fumbling with the lock, making me stand quickly and move away. The door opening had my almost in complete state of panic, until I heard Raoul's voice.

'Darling? It's me.'


	23. Chapter 23

'Raoul?' I asked, I walked closer and could not help myself but walking into his open arms, my tears flowing freely now.

'Easy darling, everything will be alright. You are safe with me.' He held me closely and kissed the top of my head. I felt his arms around me, keeping me as close as he could.

'What is going on? How did you get here so fast?´ I asked him. He allowed me a little space to back away, so I could see into his eyes.

'By Helicopter, my love. It's right outside, here on the beach.' I watched him in disbelief.

'I did not hear a helicopter?' I asked him. He nodded.

'The sound of the waves are louder, my darling. That is the advantage of a beach house.' I nestled myself against his warm chest once more. I felt his arms tighten around me. I shivered from all the adrenaline and fear, glad he was here, his warm body making me feel safe and warm.

'I am sorry for what happened love, but you are truly safe now. You will come with me,' he told me, his muscles tightening around me. I looked up, right into his eyes.

'Come where?' I asked. I thought we would stay here for now. He smiled.

'Hashima. I am not yet ready there, but I will not leave you alone anymore. It has proven to be... too dangerous.' I swallowed.

'My store... ' He sighed.

'It has to stay closed for now, love. You said it yourself, you don't feel comfortable being there alone anymore,' he said. I nodded, but felt my heart sink.

'All my stuff is at home, I only have my wallet and phone with me, I told him. He released me from his grip, gently stroking my hair.

'That is enough darling, we will buy the things we need on the way. Are you ready?' He asked. I swallowed.

'We are leaving, right now?' I asked. Raoul grinned.

'They have been at this door, right?' I nodded. He nodded too. He took my hand in his and pulled me close.

'Come, our pilot is waiting.' He lead me through the back door of the house, right onto the beach where there stood a black helicopter on the sand. It was silent, indicating the engine was off, but the lights were on. Raoul led me towards the helicopter, opening the door and helping me inside.

'Do you have your passport?' he asked me. I pulled it from my pocket, showing it to him. He nodded and watched me put it back. He sat down beside me, helping me place the belt around me. He did the same to himself, before he nodded towards the pilot, who started the engine. With a lot of noise they helikopter came to life. I grabbed Raoul's hand, not liking the idea of flying.

'Are you afraid to fly, my love?' he asked me gently, both his hand now resting on mine. I nodded, feeling myself stiffen when the helikopter started to move.

'Just close your eyes love, we will be there soon. It will be okay.' I gripped his hands a little tighter, but he did not seemed to mind at all. He let me lean against him, caressing my hands softly.

Within hours we had landed, a luxurious car driving us towards a hotel. It was too dark to see around town. The hotel was luxurious and spacious, Raoul enjoying a room as big as my entire apartment.

'Wow,' I muttered, walking around his room, touching the furniture and slowly making my way over towards the window.

'Yes it is nice, isn't it darling,' came Raoul's voice. I glanced outside the window at the same time Raoul stood beside me. My gasp was loud and horrid. He chuckled.

'Not what you had expected, love?' He asked me. I felt his hand around my waist, keeping me in the same place, right beside him.

My eyes watered seeing the sun come up, showing me what Hashima really was, a completely destroyed city.

'What- what place is this?'I asked him. He brought his lips towards the top of my head, kissing me softly.

'Welcome to Hashima, darling. The place no one wanted anymore after the mines shut down. No one, but me.' I turned a bit, watching him. He licked his lips and glanced outside, before his eyes rested on me once more.

'It is completely destructed,' I said. He smiled and nodded.

'It is darling.' I was dumbfounded. He cocked his head to the side.

'But what are you doing here? Your work-' I stopped my words there. Nothing made sense to me anymore. I suddenly realised I had been right in fearing this man, he was truly a dangerous man.

'My work, my business is here. At the only place no one would ever expect it, not even our beloved agent Bond.' I swallowed and felt my heart freeze. Raoul raised his eyebrows, watching me expectantly.

'I never told you his name was Bond,' I softly said. He laughed, like really laughed. I tried to take a step back, but his grip on my waist kept me from doing so.

'No, no, no. No cowering from me darling.' He pulled me even closer and kissed me hungrily. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. A few days ago I had believed he could be a gentleman, a kind man. Someone who would take me away to some sort of beach house and take care of me. How wrong could I have been. I really should have ran when I had the chance.

I pulled myself away, surprised he released me. I took a few steps back, realising I had nowhere to go and was at his complete mercy here.

'Before you start to think you should have ran to Bond for your safety, let me tell you a little story, my love,' he spoke. He motioned for me to sit on the bed. I was not sure I should.

'Oh come my love, I will not hurt you, you know that. You just need to know my full story, isn't that what you wanted so badly a few days ago?' He spoke, walking towards me and guiding me to the bed. He gently pushed me to sit on the edge, standing before me. His smile never faltered.

'You see, Bond and I, we used to be colleagues. Two agents. Special agents. Working for MI6 meant an eventful life, a dangerous life. But we were young and it was what he wanted at the time.' He walked around the room, watching me every now and then he continued.

'I got captured, tortured.' I froze at his words. He suddenly seemed so vulnerable, speaking those words. But the moment didn't last long.

'It went on for months and when the opportunity came for my superior to free me, se wouldn't. Instead she left me to die.' I gasped.

'She?' I asked. He watched me again and nodded.

'Yes, a she, we call her M. All the special agents wore poison on them, for when they would be captured. I broke my tooth but the poison did not kill me, it did harm me.' I watched him with my mouth open, tears finally streaming down my face.

He moved his face a bit, showing me that his handsome features were supported with an implant within his jaw. I gasped.

'Horrid, right darling?' I agree. That is why I have turned myself against Bond and his precious M for some time now. I am working on the perfect plan to wipe them from the game. Completely.'

'Raoul…why- ' he stopped his pacing and turned to face me.

'Why what?' He seemed to get annoyed, angry even. I swallowed and quickly answered.

'Why did they leave you there to be… tortured?' I asked. His features instantly softened again.

'My love, they would rather leave one behind then to go through all the trouble of releasing me.' I wiped my tears away, a little shocked when Raoul sat down beside me on the bed.

'Don't cry for me love, I have come out stronger, better. I finally see things in the right perspective.' He cupped my face and kissed my forehead.

'Every agent is replaceable in M's perspective. And that is not right.' He moved even closer towards me and captured my lips in a soft and gentle kiss.

'Just like they forgot me, everyone has forgotten about this island too, what makes it the perfect place for me to make my plans and work them out until the time is right.'

I looked him right into his eyes. He wiped my tears away and smiled.

'Right for what?' I asked him, my voice unsteady. He licked his lips and watched mine before he kissed me once more.

'For eliminating Bond and M, for once and all.'


	24. Chapter 24

Raoul's story had scared me. But it also made me feel a little bit of sympathy for him. He had been left behind, all alone. To be tortured and killed. That was not right.

After sharing his story with me Raoul had left to finish something, leaving me in the room. I noticed he locked the door, preventing me from following him, or leaving. That made me afraid he was really the dangerous and scary man I feared him to be.

I showered and then stepped inside the bed. It had been a long night and being here alone was the perfect excuse to try and catch some sleep. My body needed it.

Hours later I woke lightly. I stretched myself and enjoyed the warmth of the bed, only then realising Raoul was lying beside me, his warm body next to mine. I suddenly felt myself shiver. He kept telling me he would not harm or hurt me, but the fact he forced me to sleep with him was scaring me a lot. Even though I had not totally disliked the last few times he had made love to me, he still took me whenever he wanted.

I felt his hand on my stomach, keeping me perfectly against his chest. He sighed deeply and then stretched himself. I shuddered. He was waking up.

'Darling, are you awake?' he asked me, kissing my shoulder, the hand on my stomach suddenly on my breast, kneading it firmly. I gasped. He chuckled.

'I'll take that as a yes then,' he said, pulling my breast from the cup of my bra, so he had better access to knead it further. He guided my body so I was lying on my back, his warm, strong body hoving over mine. It took him a few seconds to remove my bra completely. He watched me closely, a hungry look on his face that scared me a bit. He kissed my lips softly before he moved his mouth towards my chest, kissing my breasts and licking my nipples. I moaned softly, moving beneath him. If I wanted to or not, he did make me feel good.

'Good girl,' he muttered, sucking on my nipple, while his hand wandered over my belly, and slipped between my legs.

'Not as wet as usual, my love. Has my story frightened you, perhaps?' he asked me. He moved my panrties from my legs and placed himself between my legs. He watched me closely.

'Darling?' he asked me. I felt his finger forcing itself inside of me, fingering me gently.

'I - I don't know. I - I don't know how to feel about being here,' I answered truthfully. He smiled and kissed me hungrily.

'Feel loved, my angel. Because you are. I love you and I will cherish you forever.' He added a finger, making me gasp. He kissed my jaw and neck, bringing one finger to rub my clit.

'Open yourself for me, love. Your body has accepted me, it knows how to respond. Don't think to much.' He pulled his fingers from my body and swiftly replaced them with his cock, gliding himself between my folds. I shuddered as he groaned.

'I will never grow tired of the feeling of your warm, tight body around me, my darling.' He slowly pushed himself inside, making me gasp. He moaned and started a gentle pace. I gripped the sheets and bit my lip. He was almost too big, too wide. I felt so full as he would build a steady pace.

'You feel so wonderful, amazing,' he muttered, groaning louder and moving even faster. I closed my eyes and moved my legs around his hips as he went even deeper. I needed something to hold onto.

'Yes darling,' he moaned. He came loudly. I felt him spill his seed within me. It felt warm.

'That was- amazing love,' he told me, pulling himself from within me. I lowered my legs and wanted to move away, but he kept me perfectly in place.

'Have I hurt you?' he asked? Suddenly serious. I swallowed. Why would he think he did?

'No, why?' I asked him. He bowed down and kissed me.

'You didn't orgasm.' I shivered. why was he such an observant lover?

'It is fine, it was nice,' I told him. I instantly saw he would not go with that information.

'Then we are not done yet, my love.' He threw the blankets from the bed and inserted his middle finger inside of me, fingering me once more. I wanted to say something in protest when he curled his finger inside of me and the only thing I could too was moan.

'Indeed love, feel me, let me help you come.'

'Raoul-' I moaned. He grinned.

'Yes love?' I shuddered as he added another finger and curled them both. I gasped ludly. He rubbed my clit and fingered me as I came right then and there.

He let me ride out my orgasm, before he pulled his fingers from within me.

'Now we are done, love, let's shower. Come.' He carried me towards the bathroom and kissed me hungirly before he led me walk in, before following me inside.

Was this really the same man I had met just those few weeks ago?


	25. Chapter 25

The next morning I stood in the shower, completely dazzled. Was I going crazy? I knew Raoul was a monster. I knew everything now… But what could I do?

Raoul had left early that morning, even before I woke. He had locked me in again, I knew that much because I checked the door. Twice.

Not even the hot, steaming water could unfreeze my heart. No matter how badly Raoul had been treated… This was all wrong. So very wrong.

After getting dressed I sat on the bed, pulling my legs up and staring outside. I was confused, scared and I was worried. I feared Raoul and at the same time I felt sorry for the things that had been done to hurt him.

I let my eyes wander towards the door. The fact he locked me inside, was scaring me. I did not want to be his prisoner. He could not just do as he pleased with me. I was no object. No thing…

I sighed and stared before me. I had to get away somehow. I needed an escape route from everything. From Raoul.

When I finally heard the door unlock, it was Raoul that came in, carrying a small tray with lunch.

'My love, are you hungry?' He gave me a smile, walking in further and placing the tray on one of the bedside tables.

'Not really…,' I answered softly. I had not moved from my spot on the bed, wondering and worrying about this situation.

He watched me curiously and walked closer, taking place next to me on the bed.

'What is troubling you, my darling?' he asked me, his voice smooth and deep. I swallowed, not meeting his eyes.

'How long are you going to keep me in here, locked away?' I asked him. I only looked at him when he remained silent for a while. He stared at his hands, before his eyes found mine.

'We will return to your apartment tonight.' My eyes grew wide at his words. Not because I enjoyed the idea of going home, but because of what it meant for the situation he had placed us in.

'But what about…' I was scared to ask what I wanted to know. He licked his lips, his eyes never straying from looking in mine.

'What about Bond, I assume you meant to ask me?' He finished for me.

'Mister Bond is…. here. He won't be bothering us anytime soon after we leave.'

'What do you mean?' I asked him. He suddenly stood, pacing the room. It nerved me.

'He should not be on your mind. Not at all.' His words were harsher then he usually spoke towards me and I wondered why.

'I lock this door to keep you safe, to keep you… away from it all. You do not need to worry about Bond or anything else. Tomorrow we will wake in your little apartment, you will open your store like any other day.' He stopped right before me and kneeled down, taking my hands in his.

'Eat your lunch, when I return, we will fly home,' he placed a kiss upon my hand, while his eyes stared in mine, rather intensely.

'Use the time to rest, darling.' With those words he stood and left me alone, once again.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

It was already starting to get dark when the door was unlocked. I had not touched the lunch Raoul had brought me and was lying down on the bed, my back facing the door. I closed my eyes. Why couldn't I just make everything go away by closing my eyes.

I heard the door open and footsteps walking in, before the door was closed again. A soft sigh was heard, before the footsteps came closer and closer. I felt the bed dip and then a large, warm hand on my cheek.

'Good evening darling.' I sighed, faking waking up just now, blinking a few times before my eyes found his.

'Are you ill? You have not touched your lunch,' he asked me, sounding worried. I slowly sat up and pulled myself backwards, his hand on my cheek falling down onto his lap.

'I'm fine,' I answered. His let his eyes travel over my body and then back up meeting my eyes.

'You are nervous. Scared. Of me.' It was not a question this time. I swallowed and licked my lips.

'I don't know what to think… I'm confused.' He watched me for a few seconds in complete silence, giving me once again all the opportunity to watch his broad body next to mine. Thinking about how easily it would be for him to hurt me. I shivered.

'Nothing I say will ease your fear of me, I am afraid,' he then said. He moved back on the bed, watching me still.

'We will depart in half an hour, but… First I will show you something. Come,' He extended his hand for me to take. I very slowly took his hand. He gently pulled me from the bed, until I stood before him, watching his every move.

He kept my hand in his, walking towards the door. His pace was steady, his grip gently, but firm enough to not let me get away.

We walked down several stairs, round a lot of corners. Every wall was black or grey. Everything looking dirty and ruined. While I was a little afraid of what Raoul intended to show me, I was also glad he was not leaving me alone in a dark filthy room.

When he suddenly halted before a door I almost collapsed into his chest.

'What I want to show you is behind this door. You might think it shocking. All I ask of you is to keep my story in mind.' His eyes were hard to see in the dark, but he stood so close I was able to see the fire in them.

He brought one hand up, his fingers gently caressing my cheek.

'The outcome will be the same however, I will never let you go. Never.' Where his caress was so nice and gentle, his words brought back all the fears I had almost forgot.

He turned and opened the door, grabbing my hand and pulling me in with him. I had to blink a few times, seeing how light it was in the enormous hall we were walking into.

On the sides stood a lot of computers and tables. I saw a lot of men guarding the doors, enormous machine guns in their hands. I swallowed and was glad Raoul pulled me closer. He possessively placed a arm around my waist, pulling me even closer.

I saw the men eyeing me curiously, but they all remained silent. It was so very strange. We kept walking until I say a chair in the middle of it all, a man bound down onto it. His back was facing us. I feared I knew who was sitting there.

Raoul walked us around the chair, releasing his grip on me momentarily to pull a chair out for himself, opposite of Bond. He then grabbed my arm again, sitting down, placing me on his lap.

'Well, well. Mister Bond. We meet once again.' I heard Raoul was sounding so much more intimidating then he had ever spoken to me. He placed a hand firmly on my thigh. I understood it was not only to keep me perfectly in place, but also to let the man before him know I was his.

Bond looked him straight in the eye, his eyes not once watching me.

'You should kill me before I get loose,' Bond told him. I saw his muscles move, trying to break the bonds around his hands and feet. But it seemed to no use. Who ever had tied him had not intended for him to break loose easily.

'No, no, no mister Bond. You will not leave this island. Not ever. But first, maybe you could tell me why you think you are here. My angel here, would love to hear it from your mouth.' He used his free hand to place my hair over one shoulder, bowing down to kiss my neck.

'You see, the world may think I am the great villain, the monster. And maybe I am, for a part anyway. But I am not the only one. Not the biggest monster of them all. Am I mister Bond?' He spoke. The hand on my thigh gripped me a little harder, before easing it's grip once more.

The other hand played with strand of my hair, his lips still next to my ear.

'You will always be the bigger monster, not matter what you do,' Bond spoke, the hatred very clear in his words. Raoul tssked him.

'Oh come now mister Bond. Tell her about the time you decided to let me die. To follow M's orders, not matter the consequences. Tell her.' He was talking even sharper now. His voice on edge, his voice sounding deep and dark.

It was the first time agent Bond watched at me. I did not see any emotion in his eyes, not even pity or anger. He just looked at me, before he stared at Raoul again.

'She's innocent, let her go.' I heard Raoul chuckle before I felt his lips against my temple, kissing me lightly.

'No that will never happen. You see, this angel here, she belongs to me. She is mine completely.' I shuddered, not daring to move at all. I had never seen Raoul like this, never heard him talk like this.

Yet I did not understand the situation. Agent Bond seemed unhurt. Tied down, yes, but there was not a scratch on him to be seen.

'Does she know how you look without the implant. What a monster you really are.' Bond continued. I wondered how he dared to talk like this, being tied down and all. Was he not afraid?

Raould chuckled, this time so dark I shuddered even more.

'She knows everything there is to know about me. I've had her almost every night, gave her freedom. Watched how she decided not to leave me, time after time. I'd say she would choose me anytime over anyone else, Bond. And always over you.'

It then clicked in my mind. In his sick mind Raoul was afraid I would leave him for Bond! He was acting out of jealousy and revenge for what was done to him.

I turned my head, watching Raould. He instantly locked eyes with me.

'Tell him you are mine, that you truly enjoy the way I can make you feel. How I can make you come undone, every time we make love. Tell me you will never leave me darling.' I was so very afraid of what he wanted of me, what he would do to me.

'I will not leave you,' I spoke, my voice sounding scared and broken. It sounded so small compared to his deep and dark voice.

He bowed down to kiss me hungrily. I felt his hand on my thigh creeping higher, touching my crotch through my jeans, startling me. I moved a bit, at what he gripped my thigh again, keeping me still, while his lips hungrily grazed mine.

I was out of breath by the time he released me, his eyes watching me closeby.

'Mi inocente ángel, tan puro, tan deliciosamente maduro.' He kissed my neck before he watched Bond again.

'Well mister Bond, it seems our time has ended once more. But more definitely now. More… permanente.' I shuddered hearing his spanish words. It made him more foreign to me.

Raoul stood, pulling me up with him, his hand finding mine swiftly. He gave Bond one last look, before he watched me.

'Do you have questions for mister Bond, angel. It is your last chance. Ever.' I swallowed and shook my head. I was too scared to afraid to ask anyone anything. Raoul's sharp features warmed a bit, his hand placing a lock of my hair behind my ear.

'Good girl. Then let us go home.'

He walked me up towards the door, not once glancing back, not once giving any of the men as much as a glare. But right before he opened the door, he turned to face the man with a large riffle. A dark figure, seeming as dangerous as Raoul.

'Haz que sufra.'

I had no clue what he just said, but it gave me the chills to hear him speak so darkly in his native tongue.

He nodded once, opening the door and walking us out of the room. I wondered it the helicopter would be waiting for us or something, when Raoul pulled me into a dark room. It was small, dark, the only lighting coming from a small light bulb, showing there was a chair in the room, and a desk, but nothing more.

He closed the door behind us, locked it and then released my hand. He licked his lips and watched me with eyes that still flamed with something.

'You behaved…. better then I would have thought back in there, my darling.' he said. He started walking small circles around me, making me turn with him, not sure why we were in this room.

'What… what do you mean Raoul. What are we doing in here?' I hammered. I felt my heart race through my chest. Was he going to kill me?

He smiled, a genuine smile, that turned into a grin.

'You showed your obedience in there, and I liked it. I needed it. And I need it now.'

I pulled my arms around myself, unsure what he would do to me.

'You are hardly a virgin anymore. I taught you how to open yourself to a man. To me. I opened you up. Don't hide yourself for me now.' He stopped his circles and stood right before me.

'You will undress, and then lie down on that table.' I shuddered. I had never heard him talk to me like that. Ordering me like that.

He cocked his head to the side when I did not move instantly.

'Raoul…' I was afraid of what he would do to me.

'Now angel.'

I slowly brought my arms down and saw him nod in approval. I slowly let my hands down to the end of my shirt, before pulling it over my head.

Raoul took a few steps back, sitting down on the chair, watching my every move.

'Continue,' he spoke, when I placed my shirt on the desk. My jeans followed. Leaving me in my underwear. He nodded again, a smile starting to form around his lips.

'Good girl. Now remove the rest for me and get on the desk.' I took a few shay breaths, undoing my bra and stepping out of my panties. I sat down on the edge of the desk. He licked his lips but he was not moving.

'Lie down on your back, and open your legs. Wide.' I shuddered and slowly laid down. Opening my legs a little bit. I wondered how much pain he would inflict upon me. I had never seen him like this before. He was so dark, so intimidating.

The moment I heard him move I closed my eyes and gripped the sides of the desk.

He scolded me gently, like I was a naughty child.

'Wider.' His hands were on my thighs, spreading them as wide as they could. I was ashamed, the idea of him watching everything there was to see about me making me blush and afraid.

'So beautiful. So pink. So womanly.' I startled when I felt him lick my thighs before his tongue found his way towards my centre. He licked my lips gently, entering me with his tongue, diving it in as deep as he could go. I shuddered and gripped the desk even tighter. He suckled on my clit and entered me with a finger, gently pumping it in and out of me.

I felt myself grow wet, earning a few soft Spanish words from his lips. He added a second finger, his tongue still licking my clit. When I felt like coming, he pulled his fingers from within me and stood. I only then realised I had been moaning softly. He chuckled and opened his trousers, pulling his hard cock out. He coated himself in my juices sliding between my lips, but not entering me yet.

'You need to learn I will never hurt you. I will always be gentle with you. I will never fuck you, the only thing I do to you is make love. Always.'

With those words he slowly pushed himself inside of me, filling me completely making me moan. His hand easily found its way towards my breast, kneading them. His other hand was between us, his thumb on my clit. His groaned loudly. He started a gentle pace, pumping me steadily, and deeply. I shuddered feeling myself getting close to finding release. It was then he stopped moving and I opened my eyes, finding his.

'Are you afraid now?' He asked me. I swallowed and shook my head. He chuckled.

'No? Are you sure?' he pulled himself from within me only to push back in quite slowly.

'What do you want?' he asked me then. I bit my lip. I was so close.

'Angel?' he asked me when I did not answer.

It took me all my pride but he won.

'Please make love to me.' He smiled, bowed down to kiss me and then restarted his movements. His skilled fingers worked my clit, within seconds driving me over the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The spanish translations:
> 
> 'Mi inocente ángel, tan puro, tan deliciosamente maduro.'
> 
> *My innocent angel, so pure, so delightfully ripe.
> 
> *Haz que sufra.
> 
> *Make him suffer.


	26. Chapter 26

It was already dark when we walked through the door of my little apartment above my bookstore. I had been quiet the entire flight and even later on in the car, I hadn't been able to speak with Raoul. Strangely enough, he had been quiet too. He seemed to be pondering over something. Like something was bothering him, but he was not going to tell me about it. I, on the other hand, was waiting for the opportune moment to ask him what I had just witnessed in Hashima. I needed to know more. I needed to know his plans, he owed me explanations.

'Darling, are you well?' came his deep voice, from very closeby. I shuddered and turned, facing him. He stood just behind me, both standing in the kitchen.

'Raoul-' I thought hard on how to phrase this. I needed him to stay nice and kind with me, not ever wanting him to tie me up. I swallowed. He looked worried, taking a step closer.

'Are you feeling well?' That he sounded genuine all the time when inquiring about me or my health made me hate him even more. Was he crazy or just playing with me?

'This trip has left me… with far more questions than answers,' I started. He took the last step in my direction, his warm hands on my upper arms, caressing me gently.

'Then ask your questions, my darling.' I looked up and met his gaze. Was he being serious? He would listen to my questions and give me some answers?

'What happened in Hashima?' I asked him then. He grimaced and closed his eyes for a second.

'Well, you asked me to show me what I did for a living, no? I showed you,' he told me. I noticed he was starting to behave a little less controlled than usual. Like this was making him nervous too. The moment I realised that, was the moment he found his control again, and his mouth turned into a smile.

'And agent Bond?' I dared to continue. Raoul's smile never faltered.

'Yes, what about him?' he asked me. I watched his hands on my arms and then met his eyes again.

'What did you do with him?' My voice sounded smaller than ever, broken even. He cocked his head to the side, taking me in.

'Well, nothing yet, my love.' Our eye contact started to feel like a staring contest, one he would probably win, for I lost the nerve to be a contestant any longer.

'Why are you so worried about mister Bond,' came his black voice, after I had looked away from his dark eyes. I made me shudder.

'I am not worried. Not at all.' We both knew that was a lie.

'So you are telling me you are shaking with excitement then, rather than fear?' He grinned, placing a hand towards my face, caressing my cheek.

'You are such a bad liar, darling.' His grin expanded, freezing my heart with fear as I realised the mistake in requiring after Bond. The only one I needed to protect was myself, at all time.

'Perhaps you would rather had Bond in your bed, hmm?' he continued. I tried to move ack, but his fingers that were stroking my cheek suddenly gripped my cheek, forcing me to look at him.

'Let me enlighten you again, for you seemed to have forgotten what we have here. You belong to me, we are one, together for the rest of eternity. As long as you behave yourself, everything will be fine.' I had never felt my heart drop like it did now. It was the first time it truly felt like he was threatening me.

'And- and when you believe me to not behave?' I very softly asked. I felt tears burning in my eyes, but refused to spill them. Not yet.

He watched me closely, like he was trying to read why I would ask that. He then sighed.

'I have never hurt you. A few hours ago I tried to make you understand I will never do so, but the message seems to have not gotten through still.' He sighed and released my face. He had walked me up to the kitchen counter, completely blocking any escape route.

'For the greater part of our, love story, I have been the one to keep you safe, to love you, to let you be nothing but satisfied, no?' he asked. I noticed his Spanish accent was growing thicker, meaning he was getting upset. I needed to turn this around, I needed him to remain calm. I swallowed deep and then closed my eyes.

'I am sorry,' I then said. It grew awfully silent between us, before I felt gentle fingers under my chin, lifting my face. I opened my eyes and watched him, feeling a tear rolling down my cheek.

'Darling. I love you. With my whole heart. You truly belong to me and I will never let you go.' His wiped my tears away and then bowed close to kiss me gently on my lips.

'Dame tu corazón y tu alma, me pertenecen.' I had no clue what he said, but his words sounded gentle and caring. He moved to kiss me on my temple and then pulled me closer, holding me right against his chest. He then pulled me with him as he moved away from the kitchen counter.

'Come, my darling. He guided me towards the shower turning it on and then turning to face me.

'We will retire and talk more in the morning. Come here.' He motioned for me to step closer but I was hesitant. Was he going to take me again? He say my hesitation and took matters in his own hand, pulling me closer and undressing me. He was gently, but firm as he pulled my shirt off and then my jeans.

'I will never tire of baring you to my view, my love. You are perfect.' I tried to move away, but he didn't release me, not before I was completely bare before his eyes. He licked his lips, letting his eyes wander of my curves.

He then pulled me in his arms again, letting his fingers roam my back and then lower. I shivered. Despite of the shower, filling the air with warm steam, I felt completely cold.

It was such a strange sensation to be naked, afraid en bare against his clothed body.

'Get in the shower,' he told me, releasing me and watched as I stepped in the cabine. He started undressing himself, his eyes never breaking away from mine. I stepped in the steaming cabin, getting wet from the water, but not feeling the warmth of it.

His dark eyes watched me hungrily, they devoured my body and were trying to kidnap my soul too. I swallowed as he removed his pants and then approached the cabin. It was that moment, when I felt like some sort of prey and the predator, I knew I would have to escape. I owed it to myself. This man was crazy. He was a villain. He tortured people. He wanted revenge. He had been some sort of superspy, stronger than any man I had ever met. And he was obsessed with me. I needed to get away, now he was still being nice to me. I watched him open to door and then step in, instantly pulling me against himself. I noticed his erection, hard and thick, resting against my backside as he moved me before him in the warm water.

'Querida mía, ábrete para mí.' His mouth was trailing hot kisses along my neck before I felt him wandering fingers going over my stomach and even lower. He nudged my legs apart and stroke me there. I shuddered and whimpered against his strong hold on me.

'Raoul, we just did this,' I protested, my eyes closed against the feeling he was creating inside of me. I heard him chuckle.

'It will never be enough. Never.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love it when Raoul starts his Spanish, don't you? Translations below:
> 
> Dame tu corazón y tu alma, me pertenecen.
> 
> Give me your heart and soul, they belong to me.
> 
> Querida mía, ábrete para mí.
> 
> My darling, open yourself for me.


	27. Chapter 27

The first thing I felt when I woke up, was relief to be in my own bed. Without opening my eyes I just knew Raoul would be next to me. Never far away, always just so close. I shifted a bit, not surprised to feel his hand wander around my stomach, caressing me gently.

'Good morning, my darling.' His voice always sounded deep and masculine, but this early in the morning he sounded even darker, more husk. I turned on my side and fell his hand fall away from my waist.

'Morning,' I answered. I knew he expected me to be as obedient and compliant as always, but it was hard to do, my plan to get away so vivid and clear in my head. I shuddered just even thinking about it. It was going to happen. I had no choice. I would safe myself.

'Let me make us some breakfast, hmm?' He bowed closer to kiss me and then caressed my cheek, before he got up from the bed. I watched him go, his eyes lingering on me a few seconds more, before he left the room. I got up to, dressed myself in my normal attire and then once again thought my plan through.

I would go and open my store, like I usually did. Then I would spend a few hours in there, just to see what Raoul was going to do today. And when I felt the coast was clear I would run. I needed to inform the police, just in case they would be in time to safe agent Bond. It didn't matter how scared I was, this had to be done.

I found Raoul in the kitchen, cooking up something that smelled like bacon.

'Come, come darling, it is almost ready,' he mentioned, smiling at me. I took a seat at the table and watched him fill two plates with the bacon and eggs before he placed the plates on the table, taking place opposite of me.

'You will open your store today, yes?' he asked me. I swallowed the first bite, nodding in answer to his question. He nodded too.

'Good. Good. I will have some work to do here and maybe run some errands later.' I felt myself tense up, but I tried really hard not to let him notice anything. I took another bite and nodded again.

'Shall I do some groceries after I close the store?´ I asked him. I decided pretending that I would be here later this day would satisfy him. He smiled again.

'Maybe we can go together, later on?' he asked. I just nodded. We finished breakfast and I was getting ready to go down to my store when I almost collapsed against his broad chest in the hallway.

'Careful darling.' He pulled me to his body and then kissed me. It was a long, deep kiss. He demanded everything I had to give. I felt his wandering hands and focused on kissing him back. The feelings I had, had nothing to do with him. At least that's what I tried to tell myself. He ended the kiss with a soft, small kiss on the corner of my mouth.

'Go and open your store my love, I will bring lunch.'

The day started pretty slow. I had a few customers, but spend most of the time worrying and wondering. I was leaving today, no matter what. But what would be the right timing. I did not want for him to see me leave and follow me. I needed to just be gone, long before he would miss me. I unpacked some orders and knew it would be best to wait until after he had brought me lunch, maybe even until he would leave for his errands. That would give me time to gather some stuff too…

'Darling?' I heard his voice before I watched him walk into the store. I saw he carried a small bag with what could only be lunch.

'I made you a sandwich, I will be leaving for a few hours. I will be back to take you for grocery shopping though. Wait for me.' He bowed closer to kiss me and then handed my the little bag.

'Thank you,' I answered. He watched me a second too long for my liking. Could he know?

'Everything is alright?' he asked me. I quickly nodded.

'It's not really busy, but that gives me time to unpack and re order some things.' He nodded, smiling and looking around.

'Your happy place suits you so well, darling. Have a good afternoon, I will see you later.' He kissed me once more and let his fingers trace my cheek before he turned and left. I felt myself defrost bit by bit. He had left. He was gone. This was the only chance I would get. I placed the little bag on the counter and made myself wait 10 full minutes. I heard his car start and drive off and that was my cue.

It took me a few seconds to turn the open sign to closed and walk out of the store. I locked the door and turned, nodding to a few people walking by. I needed to get away now. I had no clue how long he would be gone. This would be the only chance I would ever get. I walked the stairs up to my apartment and with shaky hands opened the lock on the door. I would use 5 minutes of my precious time to gather some clothes, my passport and the car keys and no more. That was all I would give myself. I rushed into my bedroom, grabbing a bag and placing clothes into it, then I found my car keys and turned to grab my passport from the kitchen counter. I usually left it there and I had a feeling I had seen it there just yesterday… But it was definitely gone now. I swallowed. Would he have suspected anything? Or was he just being careful. I felt sick thinking about it and decided I would have to leave without it. There was simply no time to search my apartment. I cursed, grabbed the bag and went for the stairs. I shut the door swiftly and locked it. I bit my lip, walking down the stairs, placing the bag on my shoulder. I was truly doing it. Me, the scaredy cat was for once and all sticking up for herself. I decided that this time, I could be proud of myself. I was almost downstairs and on the street when I watched around me.

Turning my head to the left, where the frontside of my store was, I placed my foot just wrong and twisted my ankle. I fell down the last two steps and landed on the pavement. It hurt and I winced, but not even because of the pain. It was because of the enormous, cold looking Spaniard before me. I felt the bag drop down my shoulder and knew that this time, he would not buy any of the excuses I could come up with. I was almost too afraid to look up and meet his eyes.

'I had a feeling…. You were cooking up something in that pretty little head of yours,' He sounded ice cold. I tried to get up, wincing loudly when I felt a painful sting in my ankle. Despite his cold tone he kneeled, so he could watch me square in the eye, his hand on my leg.

'No!' I said. I was afraid he would finally hurt me. This would be the last straw. I just felt it. I felt so beaten and devastated knowing I ruined my one and only chance of ever escaping.

I felt my ankle, knees and hands burn from the fall, but it was nothing compared to the pain I felt in my heart. I felt sick to my stomach. He slowly felt my ankle, what made me grunt from the pain. He touched my ankle all around before he watched me again.

'Sprained.' It was all that he said before he got up and then bowed down to help me up. I noticed the grip he had on my arms was very steady, very strongly.

'Stand.' His commands were short and dark. I noticed his eyes seemed almost black now. I had a feeling he was holding himself in because we were out in the open. Why was no one walking by?

I did not like him touching me so much, but when I got up I winced loudly, not even able to stand on my left foot from the pain. He watched me intensely.

'Maybe that will keep you from running.' There was no humor in his voice. None. And I felt more sick by the minute. He bowed down to hand me the bag and then he took me in his arms. He was watching straight ahead, not at me for once. This was bad…

He walked straight into the livingroom placing me down on the sofa. I had worried he would just drop me for a second, but he was being gentle about it.

I noticed he was looking at me every now and then, but his usual chatter was completely gone.

He walked around and came back with some bandages. I sat up straight and winced. Stupid ankle.

'Do not move.' Again a short, stiff command. He placed the bandages next to me on the sofa and then his eyes suddenly locked right onto mine.

'Liar.' I felt my heart grow cold from the look in his eyes.

'You said you would never leave me.' I remained silent. What did he think I would do? I could not stay with him for the rest of my live. He was not completely insane, he should have seen it coming.

'I have been nothing but gentle and caring with you and this is how you thank me, running off?' I heard the anger in his voice and I looked away. Rough fingers under my chin forced me to look up once more.

'Oh no, no, you will not ignore me darling.' I felt tears gather in my eyes but refused to let them fall.

'Tears will not help you now. I am glad I had to return for my papers. Otherwise you would have run off…. to where exactly?' he asked. His grip on my chin was starting to hurt.

'Raoul, you're hurting me,' I said. I felt the first tears spill from my eyes. His gaze softened a bit, but not completely.

'Maybe you deserve a little pain.' He gripped me even harder before he released me completely and motioned for me to stand on my good ankle.

'Your hands and knees are bleeding.' I watched my hands and saw he was right. He brought his hands to the opening of my jeans, but my hands stopped his.

'No,' I spoke. He seemed shocked for the first time by anything I said.

'Perdon?' he said. He now used a little more force, pulling the zipper down and pulling the material off my hips and down my legs anyway.

'Perhaps I need to be stricter with you, hmm? Make you understand I am in charge even when I am being gentle and caring for you. Because that is what you seem to miss, darling. I am in charge. Not you.' He threw my jeans to the side and pulled me closer. He sat down on the coffee table right before me, starting to clean the scratches on my knees. The atmosphere was cold and dark, frightening me beyond belief.

'Where would you go?' he asked after a few minutes of silence. I bit my lip.

'Tell me,' he said, louder this time. I shuddered.

'Away,' was all I said when I saw he was growing impatient with me.

'You are lying again. My patience is not without end. Tell me the truth. Now!' I moved back, startled. It was the first time he had ever yelled at me, his voice as deep as a growl. I swallowed deeply. When he had bandaged my knees and raised his hand I half expected him to lash out. He was angry enough I reckoned. His dark chuckle, was the only thing that happened the next second.

'You are still fearing me. You think I would lay a hand on you in anger, no?' I opened my eyes.

'That is the reason you would run. You fear me to harm you, still?' I decided this was the only direction this conversation could go in what would make him less angry. Well that was what I hoped. I nodded and looked away. He swiftly took my chin in hand and watched me closely.

'I have never put my hands on you other then to care for you or to pleasure you. I have never forced you to do anything that hurt you.' That made me open my mouth, but his gaze shut me up.

'Your first time would have hurt with anyone, in any situation. Even then I made sure you would heal quickly. Do not hold that against me.' I shuddered.

'This move you just made, it changes everything. You will not get to cower away from me. You will not leave my sight anymore. You tightened your own leash.'

I took a shaky breath and knew he would never leave me alone anymore. I had been so stupid to even ruin the only chance I had. This was hopeless and the look in his eyes, the dark brown orbs I had seen so often, were harshly staring down upon me.


	28. Chapter 28

Rolled to a small ball I lied down on the bed. Raoul had tended to all my wounds and then left me alone in the bedroom, walking around my apartment. I wondered what would happen now. I knew he had planned on running some errands this afternoon. Was he serious about never leaving me alone again? I stared at the wall, unsure what exactly had happened just now. I sighed and felt my ankle with my hand, wincing as it hurt pretty bad.

'It needs rest,' came Raoul's voice. I looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, walking in and throwing a bag on the bed. He watched me for a moment. I had no clue how to feel around him now. I felt scared, angry and worried. I also sensed some guilt. But why?

When his eyes stared in mine I knew exactly why. Because over the last few days our relationship had started to feel real. And I had ruined it.

No matter how fucked up everything had been until now, it had been better than after my miserable attempt to escape. His eyes were dark, like usual, but I could not tell if he was extremely angry with me still. It scared me even more. He then turned, and opened my closet, pulling clothes from it, stuffing them in the bag. My eyes grew wide.

'What are you doing?' I asked him. The shock was very clear in my voice. He did not stop taking clothes from my closet, but he tssked me while not even glancing over towards me.

'Raoul?' I asked. I hated how my voice sounded weak and fragile. But him taking almost all my clothes from my closet could only mean one thing…

I sat up and moved to the side of the bed, wincing from the pain my ankle gave me while moving.

That earned me his attention. He placed the clothes in his hands on the bed and moved over towards me, his hands on my shoulders, stilling me.

'Do not hurt yourself more,' he said. He pushed me back, but I was not taking it so easily this time.

'Raoul what are you doing?' I asked again. I felt tears gather in my eyes, not caring if he saw them or not. Not anymore.

'You have left me no choice. We will need to go.' I heard his Spanish accent grew thicker and knew then he was still upset. But he tried to be gentle with me. Even after everything I had done. I wondered why.

'Go? Go where?' I asked him, shocked. He sighed deeply and pushed me back on the bed, gently taking my ankle in his hand and placing it on the bed.

'My apartment. There I can make sure you don't try anything…. rash again.' He gave me a stern look and the turned to finish packing for me.

'Anything you need from the bathroom?' He asked me, when he zipped the bag. I swallowed, not sure how to turn this situation around. I was silent, moving again, standing up this time, even before he could reach me.

'I can do that myself,' I said, biting my lip when I felt the stinging sensation in my ankle. His lips turned into a thin line, swiftly pulling me in his arms and placing me on the bed once more.

'You will not stand on that ankle. Not at all. No me enojes,' he growled. He was leaning over me, very close. Too close. His lips were right before mine, and I held my breath, suddenly more scared than angry. I felt myself shudder and slowly let my eyes go from his lips to his eyes. They watched me intensely. A hard look in his eyes. I swallowed and slowly brought my hands towards my chest balling them to fists, as if to brace me for anything he would do to me. He noticed it too. His eyes watched my face.

'Haremos las cosas bien de nuevo. No solo tu cuerpo me pertenece, tu alma es mía también,' his Spanish words made me nervous. I had no clue what he had said. I did see the change in his eyes as they seemed to grow warmer. He bowed even closer and kissed me. He was taking control instantly, kissing me hungrily, deeply and very passionate. He only ended the kiss when we were broth completely breathless. He rested his forehead against mine.

'Haremos las cosas más permanentes y definidas. pronto.' I shuddered at his words and the kiss. I thought he was angry with me, why did he kiss me like that?

'Now tell me what you need from the bathroom, before I decide to take you just as you are.'

The ride to his apartment was silent. A few hours before I had felt in control, like I would step up and get my life back. But Raoul had very easily turned that around, making it very clear he was in charge and acting the part. He had carried me to his car, warning me to not stand on the ankle, because he would not warn me again. The words ringed in my ears. I had never heard him threaten me like that. Like he really meant it and there would be consequences if I did.

He watched me every now and then, his hands on the steering wheel, eyes on the road most of the time. I We will make things more permanent, and definite. soon. I recognized the streets as we came closer to his apartment. My prison. He parked the car and shut the engine off, then he froze. For a few seconds he stared before him, before he turned his head towards me.

'I know you are feeling… scared. Frightened of me.' His voice was so deep. So masculine. I swallowed and nervously watched him. He licked his lips.

'I will carry you inside. You will not speak with anyone while we enter the building. If you do, they die. Do you understand?' He spoke. He spoke slowly as if he wanted me to get everything he was saying. I felt myself grow cold. What did he just say? Was he really threatening the people around us?

'Answer me,' he commanded. I bit my lip, feeling sick to my stomach. I knew I had no choice. I would give up my bookstore, but not innocent people.

'I understand.' My words were soft, but he heard and nodded.

'Good, then let's go.'

I wondered how he could carry me so easily, a bag over his shoulder. Of course I had seen his muscles and broad shoulders, but he walked around with me in his arms like it was effortless.

He greeted the janitor with a smile and nod and walked straight to the elevator. Only when the doors closed and we stood there, completely alone, his eyes found mine again. He was not setting me down, he even pulled me closer in his arms.

'Almost home, darling. Almost home.' When the elevator reached his floor he stepped out and walked us over towards his door.

'lean only on your unhurt foot,' he said, slowly placing me before him, so he could take the key from his pocket. He kept one hand on my arm, while I wobbly stood on my unhurt foot. He opened the door and then gathered me in his arms again, carrying me inside.

'I can walk,' I told him as he slowly placed me on the couch. He chuckled.

'Not with me around you won't.' He placed the bag next to the couch and then walked into the kitchen. I thought about standing up, but I knew he was right, my ankle needed rest for now. Besides I needed him to trust that the only reason I had tried to escape was my fear of him. I needed him to trust me once more. It would be my only chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translations:
> 
> No me enojes - Do not anger me
> 
> Haremos las cosas bien de nuevo. No solo tu cuerpo me pertenece, tu alma es mía también - We will make things right again. Not only your body belongs to me, your soul is mine too.
> 
> Haremos las cosas más permanentes y definidas. pronto - We will make things more permanent, and definite. soon.


	29. Chapter 29

There was something about not being able to walk on my own that made Raoul seem even more dominant and in charge then I had noticed before. Over time there had grown a sort of comfortable atmosphere when we had been together. I had always been alert, but less afraid day by day. Right about now my level of fear was at the highest point again, completely unsure about what he would do to me.

It was after a silent dinner he joined me in the living room that evening, taking the seat opposite of mine, watching me with a blank face. I swallowed and made myself small on my chair. Was he thinking about how to punish me?

'I once asked you what it would take for you to leave your bookstore.' His tone was flat, dark and deep. I knew he was going to get into my escape action, this time digging in deep. I bit my lip, not sure what he wanted me to answer. It was not even a question.

'Your answer was nothing. But it seems you have not been completely honest back then, hmm?' he added. I was still unsure what he was thinking, his face was unreadable, his eyes dark. I swallowed.

'I was at the time.' I answered. It surprised him I answered, I saw it in how he moved his head to the side.

'Explain,' he commanded. I was not sure how exactly he liked me to explain that I had feared him immensely when I first saw him in my apartment, but over time I had gotten used to him. To us. Until I found out about his past, until I met Bond and Raoul's plans to murder him. I swallowed. There was no way in hell I could answer him that.

'What do you want to hear?' I asked him. He suddenly sat up straight, muttering something that sounded like a curse in Spanish, before the look he had on me intensified even further.

'Explain why you were willing to leave your beloved store yesterday, when you would have never even considered that idea in the past.' I saw his knuckles gripped the arms of the chair he was sitting on very strongly, turning them white.

'Fear.' I decided to keep my answer short. I had a better chance of him not hurting me or punishing me when he thought I only had tried to get away because he frightened me so.

His grip on the chair lessened a bit, but his gaze was still on me, concentrating on my face, like he was trying to read me. Trying to see the truth in my eyes.

'Fear. Fear of me, I presume. Fear I would harm you, hurt you. After everything we have shared, you still believe would hurt you?' His tone was finally a little less dark, less dominating. I bit my lip again and nodded.

'Even now you are waiting for me to hurt you, are you not. You think I will punish you.' Again they weren't questions, but statements. True ones too.

'I know you hurt people,' the words left my mouth before I understood what I did. Fuck. He balled his fists and took a moment to look around the room, before he watched me in the eyes again.

'Hashima... Bond... It was him that made this happen, no? There was one little moment I thought you pitied me and my past, but you pity the people on the other side more. Bond for an example.' He spit the words out. I took a deep breath. He asked for the truth, what did he expect me to say?

'Raoul…' He suddenly stood and silenced me with that sudden action.

'I didn't ask for your pity on me. I only wanted for you to understand me. To give you what you wanted, a look into my world. My job.'

I looked up, seeing he was looking down upon me.

'Raoul…' He walked away, leaving me alone. I sighed and sat up, leaning on the chair to stand. I heard him walking around in the kitchen, returning with two glasses of water. When he noticed me standing he moved over towards me, picking me up and sitting down on the chair with me on his lap, making sure my hurt ankle was not touching anything. I sighed softly, surprised.

'I told you not to stand on it.' His face was close, his dark eyes right before mine.

'You walked away,' I answered. The look in his eyes suddenly warmed, before it turned blank again.

'To get water. I was returning shortly,' he replied. I licked my lips.

'I didn't know that. I thought you were angry with me.'

'You seem to think me a true monster then. Angry, always ready to harm and hurt you,' his tone was blank, but I felt the undertone. His hands were resting on my upper legs, lazily holding me in place.

I shook my head. What was this man doing to me? At the moment I did not know how to feel or what to want anymore. He sighed and watched my hair, taking a lock in his hand.

'You are not a monster.'

He seemed truly surprised, hearing my words and hearing the truth in them. He released my hair, his eyes intensely staring in mine.

'It is just…. I don't know what to think anymore. You make me feel so-' I was at loss for words and stared at my hands in my lap. I felt his warm fingers under my chin, making me look up and into his eyes.

'What do I make you feel, querida?' I swallowed and took a shaky breath.

'Everything.'

For a moment, nothing happened, but then Raoul brought his face closer towards mine, kissing me very softly. His fingers under my chin kept me close, his lips soft and firm against mine at the same time. He kissed me like it would be the last time, like he was a man in the dessert and I a fresh cup of water. Breathless he ended the kiss and stood, with me in his arms. He bowed down to kiss me once more, slowly walking towards the bedroom. I had placed my arms around his neck for support, losing myself in his kisses.

He very gently placed me on the bed, before he climbed on top of me, still careful not to strain my ankle. His kisses grew more hungry, more demanding and deeper. I felt his hands on my shirt, pulling it up and over my head. He then removed his own sweater, his muscular bare chest right above mine. He kissed my neck and jaw, his fingers already fumbling with my jeans. Everything was so intense I had no clue if this was good or bad, but it certainly felt good. He was devouring me alive, his touches always gentle and caring. He removed my bra and then took my breasts in his hands, kneading them lovingly.

'Let me give you everything then,' he murmured in his deep voice, with gentle touches removing my jeans. For a moment his face was not above mine and I suddenly felt ashamed. Was this what I wanted? Was this love? The thought lasted for only a moment, because when I felt his mouth kissing the inside of my thighs, I was completely lost to his touches.

'Raoul…' I could only moan as I felt his finger enter me, his mouth kissing me there.

'Déjame darte todo, mi amor.'

I had no clue when he had removed his own clothing, but before he drove me over the edge with his fingers, I suddenly felt his manhood press against my opening, warm and very hard.

'Get used to everything, my love. That is what I shall give you. Always.' With those words I felt him push himself in, all the way. I moaned at the feeling. He hovered above me, kissing me while his hands caressed my breasts, teasing my nipples. I gasped when he started a smooth pace, pushing in deep with every thrust. It was not painful, but very intense. He was a sight to behold, his muscular tanned body, driving into me firmly. He muttered soft words in Spanish, kissing my jaw, encouraging me to come.

He growled when I came, my muscles contracting around him.

'You feel wonderful, so good.' He pushed in a couple more times, before I felt how he spent himself inside of me, kissing me lazily.

'We will start again, darling.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translations:
> 
> Déjame darte todo, mi amor - Let me give you everything, my love


	30. Chapter 30

That next morning not only my ankle was feeling sore. I slowly moved a bit on the kitchen chair, watching Raoul placing fresh fruits on the table before me. He added some yoghurt and then joined me, sitting down beside me.

'How are you feeling, darling?' He asked me smoothly, placing some banana and strawberry in a bowl before he added some of the white dairy. I followed his example and filled my own bowl.

'Good,' I answered, my hand touching his when I took the yoghurt from his hand. His dark eyes found mine and watched me intently.

'Did you sleep well then?' he asked me next. I swallowed my first bite and then nodded. He smiled.

'Good, I am glad you are here with me. Home.' We ate in silence until his phone rang. He took the device in his hand as he gave me a wink, before he stood and left the room to take the call. I sighed. What was going on in here? The more I thought about it all, the more my head seemed to hurt. And the less I seemed to understand. I missed my store and the books, but I was not able to stand on my own, and I knew Raoul would not be as easy going about me returning to my apartment. Not alone in any case.

I placed his empty bowl into mine, slowly standing up to place them away, not even thinking about my hurt ankle. I winced when I placed my weight on it, making sure to move slow. I washed the bowls and spoons and turned to take a towel from the rack. I dried the items, my mind completely occupied thinking about everything that was going on, startled when H heard Raoul walking back into the kitchen.

'And there she is, standing once more,' he scolded me. I noticed his tone was playful, but he walked over towards me nonetheless, taking me in his arms, instantly relieved some weight of my foot.

'You are not a good follower of orders, my darling,' he scolded me some more. I grinned slowly.

'I just washed the dishes, I did not run a marathon,' I talked back. I saw he was pleasantly surprised with me being this sassy.

'Mi amor, what to do with you.' He easily swept me off my feet, carrying me into the livingroom and placing me on the couch.

'What will we be doing today?' I asked him. I saw my question surprised him. I knew it was the first time I ever asking him something like that, like we were an actual couple. He sat down beside me, taking my hurt ankle in his hands, gently studying it, touching me lightly with his fingers.

'I need to do some work, but I will do it here, next to you. You can rest some more, read, whatever you please.' His words were gentle and kind, his tone light. I wondered what it was that had brought him in such a mood.

'Is that alright, mi amor?' he asked me, gently massaging my calve. I swallowed and then nodded. He smiled and then slowly placed my foot on the couch, before standing up.

'Good, let me get my laptop and a book for you, no?'

That afternoon it started raining outside. It was quite the sight to behold, watching the water poor down from Raoul's sky high apartment. I sat on the couch, huddled up with a blanket, a book forgotten on my lap, watching the drops hit the window.

'Aren't you cold darling?' Came Raoul's rich voice, from very close. He sat beside me, typing away at his laptop, watching me, his hands stopping the the moment.

I smiled and shook my head.

'I like watching outside, and let my thoughts get carried away.' He smiled and took a deep breath, not yet able to return to his work.

'What were you thinking about then, my darling?' he asked me. I licked my lips nervously.

'Not much. Just- what the future will hold for me and my store…' I was not really ending that sentence completely and I instantly knew Raoul understood that too.

'And perhaps what the future holds for us?' he inquired. I shyly nodded. I was not completely sure about there being an 'us' but he was in far to good a mood to disagree with him. He watched me for a moment, not speaking, just really looking at me. It was like he saw more than usual, like I was some sort of painting he tried to understand. A true piece of art.

'Well, for today it means we are here, together, enjoying eachothers company.' I smiled at his words and then pointed at his laptop.

'I am keeping you from your work,' I said. He smiled.

'I would not have it any other way, my darling.'

The days after that went by pretty fast. Raoul worked, while I was reading and slowly starting to walk on my own again. After five days I barely felt any pain in my ankle, and Raoul was finally agreeing to me walking around again. We cooked our meals together and those days felt like they were true, like we really were a couple, living together. Just talking about little things, sometimes watching tv, mostly reading. He held me close at night, caressed me everywhere and made love to me every night. He always made sure to pleasure me, never leaving me wanting. Not once. It felt like a week, maybe two, when he woke me in the morning, two small suitcases standing in the corner of the room. He kissed my temple and then pulled me up and in his arms.

'We are going on a little trip, darling.' I watched him curiously.

'Where to?' I asked him. He smiled and pulled me in his arms.

'I want you to meet my country, my culture, we are heading to Spain, my darling.'

This time, there was no helicopter to take us anywhere. Raoul drove us to the airport, where we got on a normal plain, within hours standing on Spanish grounds. Raoul seemed more relaxed than I had ever seen him before. He wore light clothes, everything white and of thin material. I was wearing a red summer dress, one that complimented my figure and made me feel beautiful and almost too sexy. He ordered two cappuccinos for us in a small barista, talking to me about every little thing he would show me while we were here. I watched him closely, still under the spell I had been under these last few days. I tried hard to forget everything that had happened and was happening. I wanted to live in the here and now. This strange man before me, this Spanish god that was also a monster sometimes, was giving me all he had to offer. Gladly even. Not even my escape attempt could change that. I had thought he would have held the fact against me, but he did not. Not once. I stared in his eyes suddenly noticing he was moving to stand. I almost followed his example, until he sat down on one knee, expectantly watching me, a little box in his hand. I swallowed, understanding what was happening here, and it got even more clear as he opened the little box and a beautiful silver ring was resting on a red pillow. There was a diamond, cutely placed in the centre of the ring, sparkling tremendously.

'My darling. I want to make our future one of happiness and love. I need you by my side. I love you and I always will. Will you marry me?' At that point I noticed people watching us. They had to be thinking it was the most romantic thing ever. I swallowed, licked my lips and stared in those dark eyes.


	31. Chapter 31

My mind was racing. At the moment I had no idea how to feel, how to respond or even where to look. I completely lost track of everything around me. I was not even noticing the people around us anymore.

'Raoul…' I noticed how small and soft my voice sounded. His dark eyes watched me expectantly. In all his beauty, his muscles and broad body he seemed…. almost vulnerable.

He cocked his head to the side, slowly moving to stand, bringing the little box with the ring in it between us. I once more was faced with the fact he was taller than me, towering over me.

'Will you?' he asked me again. His voice sounded husk. While I kept him waiting for an answer he did not seem insecure. I broke the eye contact to think.

My mind was blank. I literally had no options. Saying yes would be like handing myself over to the devil. A devil with a beautiful face and body, and sometimes a beautiful inside…. But he was a criminal. Someone who would take what he wanted and hurt people who stood in his way. He had had broken in my house, kidnapped me, raped me and forced me to live with him. He had showed me pleasure, love and care and made me feel safe and wanted…

What was important in life? What did I need?

I swallowed deeply and slowly let my eyes meet his again.

'Raoul…' I saw something change in his eyes. He grew a little colder, seemed a little more distant. I swallowed. I watched how he slowly brought the little box closer to his chest. I had made a decision. But saying it out loud would make it real. I took a deep breath.

'I will.'

Watching my words sink into him was a sight to behold. His eyes sought mine for a lie. For any hint my words were not true. He found none. A smile slowly broke through.

'My love…' I felt him shove the ring onto my finger. The material was cold and smooth, I noticed. He moved closer, pulling me against his chest. His lips were soft and warm, welcoming mine.

'My love, we will finally be one. Forever.'

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

How we ended up in the hotel room felt like a blur to me. Raoul had guided me along through cute little streets, his hand holding mine very closely, caring.

The moment he closed the door behind us, locking it, he released my hand. He watched me, hunger in his eyes. My little red dress suddenly felt too naked, to vulnerable.

'This night, I will make love to you, like a husband does to his wife.' I swallowed. The level of intensity he was creating was almost too much, too heavy. I felt myself shudder. He licked his lips and removed his shirt, before he moved in my direction.

'This night, I want to see, touch and taste everything. There will be no secret your body can hide from me. Not anymore.' He let his hands touch my arms, his fingers caressing my skin. I truly felt like the most precious thing on earth by the way he kept watching me. He licked his lips, before he moved closer and kissed my lips. He was warm, soft and instantly dominating the kiss. He was being gentle, but firm, taking the lead. He moved us a bit, gently pushing me on the bed, so he could move on top of me.

'This night we will see how many times your future 'husband' can make you come undone, my love.' I shuddered. Me saying yes had unleashed a whole more intense Raoul, I noticed. He unzipped the back of my dress, slowly peeling the material off of me, exposing my skin. He kissed and licked how way down to my cleavage, his fingers pulling my breast from the cups of my bra, sucking on my nipples. I closed my eyes and moaned softly.

I could keep denying and protesting, but he was making my body feel wonderful. It was not long before my dress was lying on the floor, my bra on top of it. The only thing between our bodies his pants and my panties.

'I will never tire of you, my love.' He brought a finger between my legs, rubbing me through my panties. I gasped, feeling myself grow wet already. He chuckled and kissed me softly.

'Good girl, so responsive.' He kept rubbing me every now and then letting his finger roam on the edge of my panties, but never going under it. I was growing impatient and hotter by the second.

'Raoul…' I whispered, my eyes still closed. His groan came from closeby. My fingers found his shoulders, pulling him in.

'Yes, my love?' he asked teasingly. He kissed my jaw, while rubbing me a little harder, sending me over the edge already. I exploded, shuddering as he kept rubbing me through my orgasm.

'That was fast darling, but it was the first of many.' He brought his mouth towards my chest, licking and suckling on my nipples. When I felt myself grow calmer again, his finger finally slipped underneath me panties. He touched my slit and wetness, mumbling approvingly.

'So wet indeed. You are loving this, aren't you?' he asked me. I could only nod and moan as he rubbed my clit and then ever so slowly entered me with a finger.

'So wet, so tight. You have no idea how beautiful you are now, opening yourself completely to me.' I felt him adding a finger, pumping me steadily. I had no clue how but somehow I felt another orgasm building.

I had a feeling this night was only just beginning….


	32. Chapter 32

I remembered every word he had spoken last night. Every touch, every feeling he had given me.

Opening my eyes I saw the beautiful bed we were still lying in, covered beneath the satin sheets. I felt warm, cozy, dozing in and out of sleep. Raoul's big hand on the small of my back was a welcome weight. I felt cherished, safe.

The moment seemed to last forever. Almost like now that I had chosen to be Raoul's wife, the universe finally granted me some sort of rest. Peace.

'Good morning, my love,' came Raoul's deep voice from beside me. I turned a bit, feeling his hands helping me, so he could watch me in my eyes. He seemed content, relaxed. Happy even.

'Good morning,' I answered. He bowed close, kissing me softly, gently. Less hungry like last night, but still with so much passion. I blamed his Spanish roots for that.

'How are you feeling darling?' he asked me when his lips released mine. I just knew he was referring to last night. I knew he took pride in his stamina and his ability to pleasure me. And in hearing me confirm it.

'I am fine, a little sore maybe,' I answered. He gave me a small smile and then kissed me cheek, then my brow, followed by my jaw.

'Good. Good. That means I have loved you properly last night.' He smiled some more, pulling the sheets back, watching my naked body. I was not completely comfortable with being naked, while he gazed upon me. It was because of that reason I moved away for a bit, trying to turn myself, but Raoul gripped my wrist, stilling me.

'There is no need for hiding your beautiful body darling. Let me see you.' I felt how his hand released my wrist before he let that same hand wander over my shoulder, arm, breast, waist and then traveling down. He slowed his pace, his hand resting just above where my legs were joined, closed. His eyes found mine.

'Open your legs, my love,' His voice was husk, deep and it left no room for argument. I ever so slowly did as he told me. He smiled approvingly, his fingers moving to rest in between my legs, his middle finger rubbing my clit very lightly. I shivered instantly. I still felt sensitive.

'How many times did you come last night, love?' he asked me. I swallowed deeply, his touch distracting me from his words. He pushed my clit a little harder, earning a moan from my lips. He chuckled.

'Tell me,' He urged. I bit my lip.

'A lot of times,'I answered quickly. He chuckled again, suddenly his lips close by my ear, his warm breath tickling my skin.

'I did count them, my love, at least ten times you came, the last four while screaming, loud.' After speaking I felt him push his middle finger inside of me, as deep as he could go. I gasped, he grinned. I knew he took a sick pride in making me come undone. Once was never enough with Raoul.

He fingered me with a steady pace, all the while rubbing my clit. I tried to grab his hand when the feeling was too intense, I was feeling too sensitive.

'No, no, no my darling. You will finish once more.' I moaned as he moved his face down my body, suddenly his lips taking the place of his rubbing finger. He kept fingering me, while I felt his tongue on my clit. I almost screamed.

'Raoul stop, it's too much!' I moaned. He tssked me.

'Do not fight it my love.' I felt tears in the corners of my eyes. The feeling was too intense, it was too much.

'Raoul,' I gasped. He licked me slowly, adding another finger inside of me. I felt myself starting to come once more. Was that even possible.

'Please…' I moaned. I felt so weird, so strange. I was so full and the tension kept building.

Raoul's tongue licked me harder now, his mouth closing over my clit, sucking the little bud between his lips. I moaned loudly. He then turned the fingers inside of me, still entering me deeply, but the feeling was so different all of a sudden. While he suckled my clit and fingered me in this new position, I came. I shattered. I felt like I had wet myself. He stopped licking me, but his fingers still pumped me deeply.

'And here you did it again, my love. Your squirted. I know everything there is to know about your body, you see.' He then finally pulled his fingers from within me, his lips kissing mine, giving me a whiff of my own scent.

'This is what your life will look like, as my wife. I will keep you satisfied, I will pleasure you every night. And most mornings too.' He kissed me hungrily now. I felt his hard manhood against my leg.

'Now, before I would love to feel your wonderful mouth on me again, I have a gift for you.' I watched him curiously. He smiled and moved to the side of the bed, taking a little box from underneath the bed.

'Close your eyes and do not move.' he ordered. I swallowed once. What was he planning to do?

'Don't you trust your fiance, my love?' he asked then. I bit my lips and then did as he had asked. I heard him open the box but then nothing. Until I felt his hands on my legs, opening them a little wider. I instantly moved and opened my eyes, but Raoul held me, his strong hands blocking every move I wanted to make.

'Ah, ah, ah. It is a gift. You know I will not hurt you, close your eyes.' I swallowed. What would he do. He saw my hesitation, and my fear. He sighed.

'It is a nice surprise, no pain. I promise. Close your eyes querida.' I shivered but, not sure how I would like his surprise for me.

'Good girl, now relax.' I felt him place something other than his manhood or fingers against my opening, before he pushed it inside. I opened my eyes, but it was already too late to see anything. Raoul firmly pushed the thing inside of me, until it was completely sheated, a little piece of it against my sensitive clit.

'This gift will remain inside of you today. It will bring us both pleasure.' My scared eyes must have been visible enough for he pulled me close, to kiss my temple.

'My innocent darling. I once told you we would enjoy toys too. This is your very first one. Only to bring pleasure, not pain. For you never pain.' He then kissed me deeply, while moving me to rest on my back, so he could hover over me. I felt filled, the thing inside me was smaller than Raoul's member, but almost as wide.

He then moved of the bed, gathering my underwear. He helped me into them, pulling them all the way to cover my crotch.

'Like this the toy will remain, use your muscles to keep it inside. There is a little assignment for you. You have to keep it inside, you may only remove it when you have to relief yourself. If you take it out, or if it comes out, I will enjoy that moment to fill you with my cock. No matter where we are.'

I swallowed. Was he serious. He laughed seeing my distressed face.

'Now I would love to feel those delicious lips around me, come here.

That afternoon we were walking around town, enjoying the little shops here and there. Walking with the toy inside of me was strange, not unpleasant but not completely comfortable either. Raoul seemed to enjoy it a lot more than I did. When we had lunched at a very cure bistro, we walked towards the beach. A few people stared at us, some males too. I saw Raoul had watched them too, his eyes sharp when he spotted them.

'They would love to have you, my love. They are lusting after you.' It was not so much his words that bothered me, it was the toy. Suddenly it started vibrating within me, and firmly against my clit. I firmly took hold of Raoul's arm as he pulled me close and chuckled.

'Good to know I am the only one to bring you pleasure, hmm?'

'Raoul… stop, make it stop.' I knew my soft gasps sounded like a beg, but the feeling was too much, too soon after last night and this mornings activities.

'No, no, let them see, You deserve more pleasure. Can you feel how deep inside of you it is moving, vibrating?' I grabbed him painfully hard.

'Raoul it hurts. It's hurting me.' I gasped. My eyes were firmly closed. I needed for this to stop. It was too much. Raoul turned us a bit. I felt his hand under my long skirt, lifting it up and then moving my panties to the side for a bit. He moved his fingers between my soaking lips and turned the toy a bit, so it was no longer pressing against my clit. I almost sighed in relieve.

'Take it out, please.' I asked him. He chuckled. I was not even bothered with him touching me like this while we were outside. As long as he would stop it. But when I opened my eyes, I saw he had walked us to a deserted place. There were no people to see.

'If I take it out now, right here,' he said, pushing the toy for a bit, making me shiver, 'Then I will fill you up, right here, outside.' I remembered his assignment for me and shuddered.

'Please no, just, just stop and let's do this tonight in our hotel. Please,' I tried. He shook his head.

'We can do it here, on the beach or in the water. Or keep it inside.' He sounded so dominating. I felt how my wetness was making it hard to keep the toy inside.

'It's coming out.' I said desperately. He smiled.

'I know, you are extremely wet, darling.' It was mean and annoying he made me feel like this, to threaten to fuck my in public.

'I felt the toy slipping from within me, the only thing stopping it from leaving my body were his fingers, pushing it back slightly. He then turned the toy back, torturing my clit once more. I broke.

'Take it out.' He chuckled, but complied. He pulled the vibrating toy from within me, a rush of wetness leaving behind it.

'Well then tell me, my darling. Are you ready to be filled with me, on the beach, for your very first time?' Without waiting for an answer he picked me up and walked a little further. There was a small piece of land, in between rocks, with no people around. Like he planned this.

'You knew, you knew this would happen,' I said. He chuckled.

'Of course Id did, I know how to properly prepare my woman.' He placed me in the sand, his dark eyes almost burning with desire.

'Now you will pull up your skirt, and pull your panties to the side.' He hovered above me, his masculine body so strong, so big.

'Don't make me repeat myself. This can be a single love making session, or maybe something like last night's marathon. Choose.'

I watched around us once last time before I pulled my long skirt upwards and placed my fingers on my pantie. He smiled and licked his lips.

'Good girl, so compliant, so ready to be filled. Open those delicious folds for me.'

He unzipped his pants and pulled my panties to the side himself, gathering some of my juices with the tips of his cock.

'Do you feel the sand? The energy around us, being here in the open? Maybe someone will come and see us, maybe not.' With those words he entered me slowly. I gasped loudly. Every touch was so intense, I felt overwhelmed. He chuckled and then fucked me deeply, but with a gentle pace. Like he knew how sensitive I was. He never touched my clit, not until I had almost reached my climax, just from being penetrated. Before he spilled himself deep within me, he rubbed my clit twice. That was all it took for me to come, moaning his name loudly.

'That was amazing my love. You did so well. Now let's get back to our hotel and clean up, I am taking you to dinner tonight.


	33. Chapter 33

We enjoyed Spain for two whole weeks. Raoul took his time showing me his country, the food and culture. And… The passion. He never faltered in making love to me, always making sure I was properly loved every single day.

But all good things come to an end, eventually. The flight back was tiring, but comfortable enough, as Raoul made sure I was not carrying anything, his fingers caressing mine for almost the entire flight. When we finally sat in the car, driving towards my apartment it was raining. It could have bothered me in another lifetime, but not now. I was happy enough we were driving towards my home instead of his. I was glad he seemed to trust me again, love me even more than before, if possible. I glanced in his direction, seeing his strong hands on the steering wheel, his dark eyes focused on the dark road outside. The rain was making it hard to see anything, but he seemed to have no trouble driving us home safely. He slowly tapped the wheel with one finger in a rhythm following the song on the radio, his eyes slowly darting over in my direction. His face had seemed so focused just a second ago, but now a smile was growing on his lips, forming a wider smile as his eyes found mine.

'We are almost home, darling.' I nodded, giving him a small smile in return. He watched the road, but one hand moved towards mine. His warm, strong hand found mine and gently covered it. It seemed so strange to me that after all the touching we had done in the past few weeks, I still felt some sort of electricity as we touched. Was that even possible?

When he took a right turn we drove into my street. I instantly sat up a little more, curious to see my bookstore. Raoul's chuckle was soft as he watched me move.

'It is right here, as you left it, my darling.' I gave him a glare, seeing he was right. Nobody had robbed it and it had not burnt down. It was just there. As if I had never been away at all.

'I am definitely opening up again tomorrow,' I said, my eyes still glued to my store. I felt warm fingers on my chin, gently forcing me to meet his gaze. I only then noticed we were not driving anymore.

'Of course you are, my darling, but for now, let's get you inside, hmm?' His deep voice caught me off guard as he bowed closer and kissed me passionately. His kiss took my breath away and for a moment I forgot where we were. I even forgot my bookstore for a moment. I had no idea how he could do this to me. Slowly he finished the kiss and looked at me.

'Come on darling, let's take this inside.' He winked at me and then got out of the car. I followed him slowly, a little dazed by his kiss. My lips felt swollen. Raoul grabbed a bag, and then turned, looking at me. He beckoned me and stepped aside so that I could lead him up the stairs. It felt wonderfully familiar to come home. I went upstairs and unlocked my front door. Raoul followed me closely. Once inside I took a deep breath and decided that there was nothing better than coming home. I heard Raoul put the bag down in the bathroom and followed him slowly.

He moved quietly, graciously. His wide shoulders were tight in his sweater. As I walked in, he turned around, just in time to take me in his arms and pull me against him.

'Come here. I can't get enough of you. Never. My wife. My everything.' His lips ran down my neck and kissed their way to the edge of my shirt. I felt his hands pulling my shirt out of my pants, exposing my waist.

'What do you say if we do not tidy up and clean up for now? Hmm?' I felt his hands slide to my back, before they dropped to my buttocks and he suddenly lifted me up. I let out a little scream and quickly put my arms around his neck. His deep laughter was loud in the bathroom. He carried me to the bedroom and sat down on the front of the bed with me still in his arms. I felt how he lowered me to his thighs. His dark eyes were now right in front of mine and were looking straight at me. He licked his sensual lips but didn't move. I was breathing faster than normal. Again I felt the electricity, the tension and swallowed. His lips slowly formed a sensual grin, one that I now knew so well, especially in the bedroom. I wondered if there would ever come a day when he didn't want me anymore. It was astonishing to me that he seemed to long for me so much. I felt his member getting rock hard again under me and trembled, thinking of what he would do to me. This time, however, I felt the same desire. I wanted him too. I saw that his gaze was no longer focussed on my eyes, but had shifted to my lips. I licked my lips before leaning slightly toward him and slowly bringing my lips to his. It was as if he had been waiting for this and immediately answered my kiss hungrily.

Once he started, Raoul could not be stopped, and I knew it. His kisses were passionate and filled with need. His strong hands caressed and kneaded every piece of skin they landed on. Before too long we both were naked, his fingers slowly gliding in between my legs to test if I was ready enough for him.

'So wet, so soon,' he growled, kissing my jaw. I could only whimper as he fingered me at a steady pace.

'Darling, come for me.' I felt his thumb on my clit and sighed even deeper. He could make me feel so good, it should be illegal. I swallowed hard as he rubbed me a little harder, fingering me with two digits now. Before long my eyes shut slowly, my mouth slightly open.

'Yes, yes, that's it my darling.' He kissed my temple as I shuddered in his arms and fell apart. He let me ride my orgasm out, before I felt his hard member at my entrance. I took in a shaky breath and felt how he pushed himself in all the way. No matter how many times he had penetrated me before this time, it always was such a surreal sensation. It was just so intense, so unreal. He growled and started at a gentle pace, what turned into a faster pace very soon. I grabbed his arms, to hold on as he brought us both to an orgasm. He growled loudly as he came. I felt his warm seed deep inside me as he collapsed on top of me. He recovered quickly and supported his weight with his arms so that he didn't crush me.

I felt him slowly withdraw from me. I shivered from all the sensations. It remained so intimate to be connected in this way. This man knew my body better than I did. Sometimes that thought still scared me.

'That was amazing darling.' He rolled off of me and pulled me in his arms. I let him take me in his arms and felt warm and safe. I leaned against him and closed my eyes.

'I'm tired.' His chuckling came very close.

'Did I exhaust you so much, my darling? Just close your eyes.' He brought his hand to my arm and gently stroked me. It felt wonderful.

'If you continue like this, I'll sleep in a few seconds.' He chuckled again and kissed my cheek.

'Sleep well, my darling.'

The sound of rain against the window woke me up. I opened my eyes very slowly, because I really wanted to stay in the wonderful warmth that I felt. I sighed deeply and then looked up. It was still dark outside. I lay under the covers, behind me lay Raoul, his warm body against mine. His arm lay possessively over my hip. My mind wandered to a few hours ago. So I really fell asleep and he left me in bed. I heard the washing machine running in the background. So he had done the laundry and then went to bed. He kept surprising me. He could be so dominant and bossy at one moment, and so caring and loving at the next.

I had to admit that he could still make me nervous and scared. Sometimes a single glance from those dark eyes was enough. But sometimes, sometimes he could surprise me with his soft touches and how he took me into account. I had never met such a complex man. I thought about our vacation and our engagement ... I knew how important it was for him that I had agreed. Then I thought of my store. I wanted nothing more than to open my store and live normally again. Daily between the books and the customers. That seemed so nice to me.

I was startled when Raoul moved into his sleep and drew me closer to him. Even in his sleep, he was constantly aware of me. It sometimes made me really nervous. He was so physically and sensually minded. It was sometimes wonderful, and sometimes just a little too far outside of my comfort zone. He sighed deeply in his sleep as I felt his hand shift from my hip to my waist. He pushed up even further until he embraced my breast My breast fit easily into his hand. He held it tightly and firm and then seemed to sleep on. I swallowed and closed my eyes. This was my life now. I had better get used to it completely.


	34. Chapter 34

Sleep had come easy to me that night. I slowly woke, to the smell of delicious coffee. Somehow that did not even surprise me anymore, and that felt nice. I stretched my arms above my head and opened my eyes. Raoul's place in my bed was empty, his deep humming coming from the kitchen. I slowly got up and pulled on my robe, before I slowly made my way into the kitchen. For knowing what a dominant and dangerous man Raoul could be given the circumstances, he seemed so at home in my little, cosy apartment. The kitchen smelled of wonderful coffee, and the man who had made it stood at the kitchen counter, his hands on the flat surface, watching something on a plate before him. It was almost foreign to see him standing there, all muscle and broadness, but yet so comfortable in my home.

'Goodmorning,' I softly said, not wanting to startle him. He slowly turned, a smile around his lips as he watched me walk closer.

'It smells delicious in here,' I commented him, watching his grin expand even more. He opened his arms and I walked right into his embrace. He placed his lips against my forehead, kissing me softly.

'Thank you, my darling. I was planning to bake us something to eat too, but the dough is not willing to cooperate.' I watched the plate on the counter, with the dough on it.

'Let me try,' I spoke, turning in his embrace and kneading the dough, feeling the texture. Raoul kept standing behind me, his arms resting on each side around me on the counter top, as I slowly but firmly kneaded the dough.

'I think it needs a little bit more milk and then it will be perfect.' My words came naturally, not even thinking about the man who stood so close behind me. I felt how he pressed himself closer towards me, his warm body completely against my back. He slowly placed his hands inside my warm and soft robe, a low growl forming in his throat.

'You are perfect.' He kissed my neck lightly, tracing kisses from behind my ear all the way to my collarbone. Sighing deeply and closing my eyes I softly protested.

'I cannot concentrate like this, Raoul.' However I tried to sound firm, my words came out more like a moan. HIs chuckle told me that he knew that. He ended his trail of kisses, releasing me from his hold on me, but he never stepped away. He stood next to me, watching How I formed the dough in small pieces and divided them before I would place them in the oven.

'Where did you learn to cook, my darling?' His question sounded genuine, like he truly wanted to know. I gave him a soft smile.

'Internet. I googled a lot of recipes when I first moved out. And a lot of them failed on my firsts tries.' I smiled thinking back on how insecure I was, living on my own for the first time and not knowing the first thing about cooking. Luckily I had been determined enough to keep trying. Raoul's dark eyes watched me with amusement in them, like he truly liked hearing me talk about myself like this. I moved around him and placed the dough in the oven. Raoul walked over towards the coffee and poured us both a large cup, handing me mine gently.

'Why did you move out, on your own?' Another genuine question, but this time he seemed even more interested than before. I wondered why. I took a small sip of coffee, truly enjoying the warm, delicious liquid. He watched me intently.

'I wanted nothing more than to be free, to make my own rules and to just decide everything for myself.' He watched me for a few moments, taking a sip of his own cup. Than he licked his lips.

'But you didn't enjoy it like you thought you would, did you darling?' I was shocked at how easily he had guessed it. Or maybe he had read it in my eyes. Either way, he was easily breaking down the walls that I still kept up for everyone around me. I swallowed and placed my cup of coffee on the counter next to me.

'No, I didn't. But then I came across this apartment above my store and everything got…. a little better.' He took another sip, still watching me with those dark, intense eyes who seemed to see right through me.

'You feel more safe alone. When everything is controlled by you and only you. Sharing your life makes you nervous.' His statement came like a surprise. I had no clue he even thought things like this. Apparently he did. Where did this come from I wondered. He raised his eyebrows when I remained silent. I bit my lip, not sure what he wanted me to say. A small smile playing around his lips told me he was not expecting me to answer now, because he knew he was right. It was like he just wanted me to know he was digging into my head and my ways. And he wanted to share his insights. I nervously brought my hands together, not knowing what to make of this situation. How could someone understand me so well and frighten me so easily?

'Drink your coffee darling, before it gets cold. You have a shop to open in a few hours.'

xxx

It was hard to put into words how wonderful it felt to open my store again. I truly loved the smell of books and even unpacking orders and stacking books on shelves made me completely happy. I went down an hour prior opening time that morning and worked on some administration before I turned the 'closed' sign and stared outside. It was still a little dark. The only people walking on the street where early birds, heading out to go to work. I loved watching them go by, standing here, warmly inside. It gave me a safe feeling, knowing other people where living their fast lives and I could just be here in my own little heaven. Even if I shared it with someone as turbulent as Raoul. I had a feeling he knew that he could easily made me nervous still, but I had grown to know him a little more, so I could be a little more at ease around him.

While I was enjoying my day in my store, he was upstairs working on his laptop. Now I knew what he did for a living, now he had shown me his world, I felt a little more at ease with that too.

Even since we came back from our holiday, we hadn't been bothered by officers or anyone really. I didn't tell Raoul, but I expected to hear from someone about what had happened. How could I be chased by people one day and now suddenly be left completely alone. Was Raoul behind that? I sighed for a moment and looked at the books at the desk. It was time to let go of some things and move on. For example with the clearing of all these orders.

xxx

Just like on all the first days of the week, today flew by. I didn't even have very many customers, but there was enough work waiting for me. By the beginning of the afternoon I was updated again and the first customers arrived. A young mother with a little girl in hand carefully approached me.

'Good afternoon,' I kindly greeted them. The woman was handsome, red-haired and looked at me with a doubtful smile. The little girl was about three years old and clinging tightly to her mother. The mother nodded back towards me and then looked at her daughter.

'I would like to teach her to read, she is not going to school yet, but that will not be long. Do you have books that are suitable?' I smiled a little wider. Children's books were a kind of specialty of mine.

'Certainly, follow me.' I loved showing the books that were suitable for young children and I saw the girl slowly thawed. She was shy, but it was hard for her to resist the books with princesses and horses. What I found most beautiful was the grateful look that the mother gave me when the daughter approached a book of mine and looked carefully at it.

'A very good choice,' I said softly when the little girl looked up at me. The mother smiled at me and then nodded encouragingly at her daughter. I lowered my knees and showed the little girl that there were some figures hidden in the back of the book as well as pictures and text. Her eyes, which suddenly grew larger, were priceless for me. It didn't matter which books I recommended afterwards, the girl was adamant. This book was really going to be for her. The mother smiled all the way to the cash register and looked at me gratefully when I wrapped it in a pink paper and then gave it to the girl.

'I wish you a lot of reading pleasure. Will I see you again?' The girl who had entered so shyly now looked at me with a smile and nodded. I gave her a wink and then nodded at her mother.

'Have a nice day and maybe until next time.' I watched them until they walked out the door, and then turned around. Someone who cleared his throat almost scared me.

'That was impressive.' Raoul stood leaning against one of the rear bookcases and now slowly approaching. I looked at him slowly.

'What do you mean?' I asked in despair. He smiled at me.

'Your patience. How you took all the time for that girl and the way she fully trusted you in half a minute.' I felt myself turning red. Why did he say this to me?

'I help every customer as well as I can. That's my job.' Raoul was almost standing in front of me now, his head tilted slightly.

'You are very good with children. And they like you. That's good to know.' I looked at him desperately. Where did he want to go with this conversation. He gave me a wink and then pointed to the counter.

'You were so absorbed in your first day back at work that you probably forgot that it was already time for lunch, hmm?' I saw he had made me a sandwich and brought me coffee. He was being really thoughtful.

'That's very sweet of you, thank you.' He sat quietly behind the counter and looked around while I took a bite from the sandwich. I had to admit, the sandwich tasted great and the coffee was delicious as always. After another bite, I noticed that there were no customers in the store. Raoul, who was still looking around, seemed to see that too.

'A quiet first day?' He asked me, his voice deep. I shrugged my shoulders.

'A bit, but I have been able to do a lot of overdue work, so that is actually fine.' Raoul looked at me amused. He always seemed very interested in me and my store, as if he was genuinely proud that I had achieved this and he supported me. He may not have said it in so many words, but I had not heard a faint remark from him about my store.

'Have you eaten yourself?' It only occurred to me when I almost finished my sandwich and took another sip of coffee. Raoul gave me a tender look.

'My darling. I will eat something upstairs, I just wanted to check if everything went well down here and if you were not working too hard.' He leaned over and kissed me slowly.

'But as always you are fine, my hard worker.' I felt his hands around my waist before he pulled me close.

'I have to go back upstairs to work and make some phone calls.' He gave me one last kiss before he broke away from me. At that moment the door of the store opened and two older people entered. Raoul gave me a wink and walked slowly out of the store.

I watched him go, my head a blur. Did that man know what he made me feel?


	35. Chapter 35

I closed up a little early that day. I could count the number of customers on my hand, but I had done a lot of overdue work, I felt tired, but satisfied. I closed the door with a smile and looked at my small, fine shop. It was what really made me happy, what filled me with happiness, every single day. I took a deep breath and turned around. The stairs were a bit slippery, so I held on tight. When I opened the front door I was not surprised when the smell of something delicious came over me. Raoul was already cooking again. How could this man be so tough, so intimidating and yet so caring? I placed my keys on the counter and saw Raoul sitting at the kitchen table, his laptop before him. His eyes met mine as I walked into the kitchen.

'You must be a cook. Whatever it is you are preparing is just smelling way to nice for a amateur chef.' I saw his eyes lit up at my joke, a smile around his lips.

'My darling, for you I will be anything and everything, you know that.' He motioned for me to come closer and easily pulled me on his lap as I stopped beside him.

I felt his lips against my neck as he kissed me gently there. I shivered for a moment from the soft, warm touch. He chuckled at my reaction before putting his hand on my thigh. My eyes slid from his face to the screen of his computer, where for once he had no text and long files in front of him. He was viewing houses. Thick villas to be precise. And the prices that were there did not lie. How much money did this man actually have?

'What are you doing?' I asked him softly, his hand slowly stroking my thigh. The way he quickly licked his lips was not lost on me. Was he nervous? Could that really be the case? He looked at me calmly and squeezed my thigh gently.

'I saw you in your shop this afternoon when you were busy with that little girl. And that made me think of ... That it might not be a bad idea to buy a family home, just for the future. A house with more rooms than your cozy apartment. And we both know that my penthouse is not suitable for a family.'

For a moment I was shocked. Why was he thinking about things as a family and children yet? I had not even been engaged to him for more than a few weeks. Why the hurry? I swallowed and thought of how I would start this conversation, without him getting angry of hurt. But before I could say anything, he put his finger gently to my lips.

'I know you think this is going fast, but the housing market is now favorable. It is just thinking ahead. We are not in a hurry, but of course I would like to have a family with you. I'd love to see you turn into a mother. To see your wonderful body grow with my baby in your belly.' I felt him move his hand from my thigh to my stomach and let it rest there. He leaned closer and kissed me. And just like that, I forgot everything else in the room. Everything I had wanted to say to him just vanished.

'But we can of course continue to practice. I think a lot of practice is best.' He chuckled and kissed me deeply before we were both startled by the kitchen timer. Raoul kissed me one last time before we both moved and stood.

'But first we will eat. I will keep my woman fed and healthy. Especially since she thinks me a real cook.' He winked at me before he moved towards the kitchen counter.

Stunned, I was left at the table. This man ... He was truly different from any man I had ever come across. Sometimes in a strange way, but sometimes in a very intense way.

That evening, after a delicious meal and washing the dishes, we sat together on the couch watching some bland comedy. I was leaning snugly against Raoul, his arm warm and protective around me. At moments like this, I had no doubts about him or our relationship at all. It felt safe, familiar and good. I crawled a little closer to him and snuggled up to his lovely warmth.

I felt his eyes on me as I got even closer to him.

'Are you cold, my darling?' He pulled me a little closer. I shook my head quickly.

'Not anymore. You are the perfect stove, wonderfully warm.' I heard him laugh softly and felt his body move. He took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly.

'What am I to do with you, my angel.' He took me in his arms and kissed me fervently. He tasted spicy and oh so manly. Even if I didn't want to admit it, I still had to say he was a great kisser. And a very passionate one too. He pulled me closer and closer, until he maneuvered me under him on the couch and his warm, strong body bent over mine. His hands always touched me exactly where I wanted to feel them most. As if he could read my body. His big hands kept me safe on the couch while we kissed wildly. I caught myself completely lost in his touches and kisses again. But I didn't mind now that I felt his body so warm and firm on top of me.

'Shall we continue this in the bedroom, darling?' He took me gently but decisively in his arms and lifted me off the couch. I let out a little scream as he walked to the bedroom with firm steps.

'You know I would never drop you. Never.' He kissed me again, holding me in his arms, and I wondered how strong he was. Slowly he put me on the bed and moved quickly over me. I saw in his eyes that he really wanted me. He had always been a passionate lover, but sometimes it frightened me to see it so clearly in his eyes. They were so dark and intense. But I knew him. I knew he always put my pleasure above his own. And that made me feel safe with him even now, even in bed together. Within seconds he had stripped me of my pants and sweater and my bra soon followed, leaving me only in my panties under him.

'You are so beautiful, so perfect.' He kneaded my breasts into his warm, big hands, and then moved closer. As his lips closed on my nipples, I sighed softly. Slowly I lowered my hand to his pants and I felt how excited he was. He was rock hard. As I fumbled awkwardly on his belt, I heard him chuckle.

'Shall I help you darling?' With a few quick movements, Raoul was also out of his clothes and lied on top of me, completely naked. I felt his fingers on my entrance soon enough, as he rubbed me gently. I felt how I responded to his touches and grew wet quite soon. If I had not been so distracted with his hands on my body, I would have felt ashamed at that. But not now, not with Raoul. His kisses kept me hypnotized as he gently entered me with his manhood, filling me up completely.

'We will continue to practise our baby making, my darling. Because I need you I need you so much and you need me.'


End file.
